He tried to imagine the look on Robb's face when he revealed himself. His brother would shake his head and smile, and he'd say... he'd say...
他试着想像当自己揭开真面目时，罗柏脸上会是什么表情。他的兄弟会摇摇头，面露微笑，然后他说……他会说……
He could not see the smile. Hard as he tried, he could not see it. He found himself thinking of the deserter his father had beheaded the day they'd found the direwolves. "You said the words," Lord Eddard had told him. "You took a vow, before your brothers, before the old gods and the new." Desmond and Fat Tom had dragged the man to the stump. Bran's eyes had been wide as saucers, and Jon had to remind him to keep his pony in hand. He remembered the look on Father's face when Theon Greyjoy brought forth Ice, the spray of blood on the snow, the way Theon had kicked the head when it came rolling at his feet.
他拼凑不出那抹微笑，无论怎么努力，就是想不出来。他反而不自觉地想起他们找到冰原狼那天，被父亲砍头的逃兵。“你立下了誓言，”艾德公爵告诉那人，“你在你的弟兄们以及新旧诸神面前立下了誓约。”戴斯蒙和胖汤姆把逃兵拖到木桩前。布兰的眼睛睁得像盘子，琼恩还特意提醒他别让小马乱动。他忆起当席恩·葛雷乔伊递上寒冰时，父亲脸上的表情，随后又想起鲜血溅落雪地，席恩扬腿把人头踢到他脚边。
He wondered what Lord Eddard might have done if the deserter had been his brother Benjen instead of that ragged stranger. Would it have been any different? It must, surely, surely... and Robb would welcome him, for a certainty. He had to, or else...
他不禁想，假如逃兵是艾德公爵的亲弟弟班扬，而非一个衣着破烂的陌生人，他会怎么做？两者会有差别吗？一定会，一定会的，一定……毫无疑问，罗柏也一定会欢迎他。他怎么可能不欢迎他呢？除非……
It did not bear thinking about. Pain throbbed, deep in his fingers, as he clutched the reins. Jon put his heels into his horse and broke into a gallop, racing down the kingsroad, as if to outrun his doubts.
还是别多想的好。他握紧缰绳，手指隐隐作痛。琼恩再度夹紧马肚，顺着国王大道疾驰，仿佛要驱离心中的疑惑。