Oh, crap.
靠 毁了
Your mother-in-law just had to have the dog.
你婆婆非要养这只狗
Turns out she's allergic.
结果发现原来她对狗过敏
And the pet store didn't have a grace period
宠物店就没个宽限期
or a return policy or anything?
或者包退换之类的吗
I got him from the pound.
它是从宠物收留所领回来的
Was there a twister in Kansas?
堪萨斯州刮龙卷风了吧
'Cause there's a house in my driveway.
不然怎么把房子刮到我家车道上了
Welcome home, Mr. Dunphy.
欢迎回家 邓菲先生
Uh, always a pleasure, Mr. Dunphy.
很高兴见到你 邓菲先生
Indeed it is, Mr. Dunphy. Place it there.
我也是 邓菲先生 请把它放在那里
- Oh, I shall. I shall. - I miss this. Get in here.
-好的好的 -真怀念啊 来抱一个
My dad is awesome.
我爸超级棒
He's awesome. He's always up. He's always happy.
他特别好 永远积极向上 笑口常开
I mean, he and I are best buds.
他跟我是好哥们
We're like two peas in a pod.
我们就像一个模子刻出来的
Or Siamese twins. Or a snake with two heads.
或者是连体双胞胎 或者双头蛇
- They've actually been all those things for Halloween. - Yeah.
-他们在万圣节扮过以上所有角色 -没错
Oy. This must be Scout, huh?
哎哟 这一定是斯科特吧
I should warn you. He sheds.
我得警告你 他会脱毛
I made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road.
我一路上让他上床和我一起睡
Now my sheets look like two bigfoots did it.
我那床单就跟被俩野人滚过一样
Pardon the language.
原谅我的粗俗用语
- How's Mom? - Speaking of big feet, eh?
-我妈好吗 -说到那个"大脚野人"
She's on a cruise with her girlfriends,
她和她的闺蜜们乘游轮旅游去了
some of which are not totally unattractive.
大多都是恐龙 也有几个尚有几分姿色

重点解释：

1.turn out 结果是

例句：It turned out that this method doesn't work well.
结果是这方法不太管用。

2.sleep with 与 ... 睡觉

例句：Did Tom sleep with anyone before he was married?
汤姆结婚前和谁同居过?

3.look like 看上去像

例句：He looked like a postman but he was really a fake.
他看上去像个邮递员，但实际上是假冒的。