The guy's hilarious.
那家伙可逗了
Okay, tell me one of his jokes.
好吧 说一个他的段子
He doesn't do jokes.
他可不说段子
- Does he have a mallet? -No.
-那他有小木槌吗 -没
So then how does he get hit in the head?
那他怎么打头逗笑啊
He doesn't get hit in the head.
他不需要打头逗笑
He- He makes observations.
他观察在场的观众们
He tells the truth in a funny way.
然后用幽默的方式说出来
Come on. He's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
拜托 他上过无数次鲁豫有约了
Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
鲁豫又是谁
Oh, for God's sake.
老天爷啊
Gloria and I are from different generations.
我和歌洛莉亚不是一辈人
And I won't lie- It isn't always easy.
老实说 我很难跟她交流
I mean, last week she thought
上个星期 她还以为
Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.
"西蒙和加韦科"组合是我的律师呢
No I didn't.
我可没
It was a joke.
我开玩笑的呢
I don't get it.
我没听懂笑点
Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
可能是因为我没小木槌逗你笑
Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
是啊 我现在就想用木槌捶死你
...was to stay in Northern California.
...打算待在加州北部
Did you indicate to her how long that you were gonna take?
你有没告诉她 需要多长时间
- Happy Valentine's Day. - Happy Valentine's Day.
-情人节快乐 -情人节快乐
- Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy. - Happy Valentine's Day, Lily.
-情人节快乐 爹地 -情人节快乐 莉莉
Notice anything different?
发现什么特别的了吗
- Oh, that is cute. - Cute?
-真有爱 -有爱而已吗
We spent a lot of time on this.
我们花了很长时间打扮呢
I don't see how.
我可没看出来
You just cut up one of your boas.
你只是拆了一条羽毛围巾而已

重点解释：

1.right now 立刻；马上

例句：Please stop right now.
请立即停下来。

2.be spent on 被花费在 ... 上

例句：The money will be spent on acquisitions for the university library.
这笔款项将用于为大学图书馆购买图书资料。

3.cut up切碎

例句：I cut up the meat for cooking meat ball.
我把肉剁碎后做肉丸子。