"I could not have been a good wife to 'Steve Jobs,' the icon," she later explained.
"I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I couldn't abide his unkindness.
I didn't want to hurt him, yet I didn't want to stand by and watch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting."
After they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in California.
She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria.
"It fits so well and explained so much of what we had struggled with,
that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self-centered was like expecting a blind man to see," she said.
"It also explained some of the choices he'd made about his daughter Lisa at that time.
I think the issue is empathy— the capacity for empathy is lacking."
Redse later married, had two children, and then divorced.
Every now and then Jobs would openly pine for her, even after he was happily married.
And when he began his battle with cancer, she got in touch again to give support.
She became very emotional whenever she recalled their relationship.
"Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to have the relationship we once hoped for," she told me,
"the care and love I felt for him decades ago has continued."
Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat in his living room reminiscing about her.
"She was one of the purest people I've ever known," he said, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"There was something spiritual about her and spiritual about the connection we had."
He said he always regretted that they could not make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well.
But it was not meant to be. On that they both agreed.