The ethereal quality that made her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same wavelength.
"Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous," said Hertzfeld.
"Because of both of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights."
They also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were fundamentally individual, as Redse believed,
or universal and could be taught, as Jobs believed.
She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement.
"Steve believed it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like," she recalled.
"I don't share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply,
both within ourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what's innate and true to emerge."
When they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well.
But when they were apart, Jobs would pine for her.
Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry him. She couldn't do it.
It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a volatile household,
and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that environment.
They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too combustible.