"She was always unsure of their relationship," according to Hertzfeld.
"I went to a birthday party of hers, and Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late.
She got extremely anxious and disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up."
Lisa learned to be temperamental in return.
Over the years their relationship would be a roller coaster,
with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness.
After a falling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other.
Neither one was good at reaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal,
even when he was wrestling with repeated health problems.
One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box of old snapshots with me,
and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was young.
"I probably didn't go over there enough," he said.
Since he had not spoken to her all that year,
I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email.
He looked at me blankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs.