WILLIAM BRANGHAM: Ignoring what others think about you is easier said than done. Morgan Jerkins is an acclaimed writer who speaks six languages. And, tonight, she offers her humble opinion on overcoming what's called impostor syndrome.
MORGAN JERKINS, Author, This Will Be My Undoing:
Living at the Intersection of Black, Female, and Feminist in (White) America: It was in the eighth grade when my intelligence was questioned for the first time. Every week, each student in my social studies class would have to present a topic, and if the teacher thought that that student didn't know the meaning of a word, he would have to define it.
My words were formulate and enigmatic. Not too long afterwards, that same teacher accused me of cheating to my parents. My film studies teacher told me that I would never be a director and that it was best for me to do more behind-the-scenes work. My high school guidance counselor attempted to steer me away from the Ivies and suggested community college instead because she assumed that my parents wouldn't be able to afford it. All of these teachers were white. In a 2016 study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University and American University, it was revealed that white teachers expect less academic success than black teachers expect from the same black students. A white teacher is 30 percent less likely to think a black student will graduate from a four-year college and is 40 percent less likely to think that a black student will graduate from high school. So, why am I bringing this up now, with high school many years behind me? Have you ever heard of the term impostor syndrome? Impostor syndrome is the inability to absorb one's accomplishments and the persistent fear that one will be exposed as a fraud. I feel it now even when I'm writing for prestigious publications, even after I got a book deal from a top publishing house. I kept wondering why. It wasn't until I realized my success two years ago that I understood how much of that difficulty to believe in myself came from childhood, especially those experiences with those teachers who tried to derail my growth. I had written off those experiences as being normal for a black girl. And, besides, if I had spoken up, I thought I would be seen as troublesome. But it's not normal. We have to see it for it is. For black girls and women out there who have had their abilities questioned, and in turn have doubted themselves, even when they have accomplished great things, there is a reason: Other people do not expect greatness from you, and, therefore, they don't want you to expect it either. You have earned everything you worked hard for. But it's also beneficial to acknowledge the roots, the memories that fueled this doubt, memories that tell you, you're not good enough. But you are good enough. More than enough. You are.
He was a manipulator and behind-the-scenes man.
2.bring up 提出
Instead of staying in the here and now, you bring up similar instances from the past.
3.speak up 发表看法
Uncle Herbert never argued, never spoke up for himself.
4.in turn 相应的
That, in turn would increase pressure for higher wages and that, in turn, would impact on inflation and competition.
《This Will Be My Undoing》作者摩根·詹金斯：在黑人、女性以及女权主义的交汇点上生存，八年级时，我的聪颖首遭质疑 。每个星期，在社会课上，我们每名学生都必须提出一个话题，如果老师认为那个学生不知道一个词的意思，他就必须给它定义 。我的词是构想与神秘 。不久以后，那个老师指责我欺骗了我的父母 。我的电影研习老师告诉我，我永远不会成为一名导演，而幕后工作才是我最好的选择 。我的高中指导老师试图让我放弃常春藤学校，转而建议我选择社区学院，因为她认为我的父母付不起学费 。所有这些老师都是白人 。2016年，约翰霍普金斯大学和美利坚大学的研究人员进行了一项研究，它揭示出，对于同一批黑人学生的学术成绩，白人教师的期望要比黑人教师低 。对于黑人学生从四年制大学毕业的可能性，白人教师的预期要低30% 。而从高中毕业的可能性，要低40% 。那么，明明高中已成往事，为什么我现在要把这个提出来？你有没有听说过冒充者综合征？冒充者综合征是指一个人自己无法接受自己的个人成就，持续恐惧自己会被当做一个骗子而揭穿 。直到现在，当我的作品享有盛名，即便我拿到了一流出版社的图书订单，我仍然有这种感觉 。我一直想知道这是为什么 。直到两年前我意识到我的成功，我才明白这种无法相信自己的巨大困难竟来源于我的童年 。特别是那些试图破坏我成长的老师们，给我的那些经历 。我把这些经历写下来，对于一个黑人女孩来说，这很正常 。另外，如果我说出来，我想我会被视为麻烦 。但这不正常 。我们必须正视它，因为它的确存在 。对于那些能力遭到质疑，并由此导致自我怀疑的黑人女性，即使她们成就了伟大的事业，这里有一个理由：别人对你的伟大成就不会心存期望，因此，他们也不希望你对它有所期盼 。你已经赢得了你为之奋斗的一切 。但承认其根源以及正视那些引发怀疑，告诉你自己不够好的记忆，也很有裨益 。但是你非常好 。早已足够 。你就是这样 。