英文原文

很多时候
幸福是一种感觉，感觉到了，便是拥有。珍惜全部的拥有，就是最幸福的人
幸福是一种心情，它是一种知足、淡泊、乐己所乐的心情。

My husband is not my best friend. He doesn’t complete me. In fact, he can be a self-absorbed jerk. We’re nearly polar opposites: He’s a lifetime member of the NRA who hates journalists, and I’m a lifelong liberal with a journalism degree. On the other hand, he doesn’t beat or emotionally abuse me. He doesn’t drink or chase other women. He’s a good provider. So I’m sticking with him.

Some people would call that “settling,” like it’s a bad thing. But I believe in settling.

According to the Random House Unabridged Dictionary “To settle” means “to place in a desired state or order; to quiet, calm, or bring to rest; to make stable.” In short, it means that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Alas, too many of us buy into a different adage: that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. From movies to magazines to commercials, we’re told we should demand more from lives that are, for many of us, pretty good. We’re supposed to look better, eat better, find better jobs, be better lovers and parents and workers. A stable marriage isn’t enough; it’s supposed to be a fairy tale. Perfection is the goal.

But at what cost? Would I really be any happier if take up yoga and eat more soy? If my spouse wasn’t just my partner, but my soul mate? I doubt it.

Settling, in my sense, is about acceptance. I’m a pretty happy person, in large part because I’m honest with myself about what I have. My body isn’t bikini-worthy, but it’s healthy. I’ll never write for Rolling Stone as I once dreamed, but I am making a living as a writer. I yell at my sons and let them play too much GameCube, but I’m still a good mom.

Of course, some situations are worth improving. If your weight jeopardizes your health, exercise and change your eating habits. If your job makes you truly miserable, find a new one. If your marriage is toxic, end it. Chances are, though, you probably have what you need: a roof over your head, food on the table, a job that pays the bills, and family and friends. If you’re unhappy, ask yourself: Am I unhappy because I really don’t have what I need, or because I just want more?

So yes, I’m settling. Sure, I wish my husband would kiss me more often, tell me he loves me every day, and get as excited about my accomplishments as I do. Emptying the dishwasher without being asked and giving me unsolicited foot massages wouldn’t hurt, either.

All that would be nice, but it’s not necessary. I’m happy with my husband who, despite his flaws, is a caring father, capable of acts of stunning generosity and fiercely protective of his family. Thinking about him may not set me on fire as it used to, but after 17 years and two kids, our love is still warm. And I believe that’s good enough.

重点词汇

1.self-absorbed adj. 自私的；专心于自己的事务或利益的；固执己见

He's too self - absorbed to care about us.
他只顾自己，不关心我们。

2.soul mate 情人；性情相投的人；心心相印的伙伴

If you find your soul mate, you should cherish him(her).
如果你发现你的灵魂伴侣，你将去钟爱（她）。

And everyone really need is a mutual solution to share the spirit of Soul mate.
而每个人真正需要的是一个能够互相解担分忧的精神伴侣。

3.jeopardize vt. 危害；使陷危地；使受危困

His foolish behaviour may jeopardize his whole future.
他的愚蠢行为可能会危及他的整个前途。

4.unsolicited adj. 未经请求的；主动提供的

If you see flames in an auditorium, yelling "Fire! " is an unsolicited notification as well.
如果你看到一个礼堂里有火焰，则大叫“着火了！”也是一个未经请求的通知。

5.generosity n. 慷慨，大方；宽宏大量

He was the apotheosis of generosity.
他是宽宏大量的化身[典范]。

6.protective adj. 防护的；关切保护的；保护贸易的