You're closest to the fire and hurt most often, even though it's not about you. Try these ways to neutralize the effects of your partner's anger on both of you.
你距离对方的怒火最近，通常受到的伤害最深，尽管不是针对你的rVnf3jndG6(F。尝试下面的技巧，尽量中和伴侣的愤怒对你们两人造成的影响I|9M4Y5L8fMR+m。

You Will Need
你需要

Listening skills
倾听技巧

Empathy
共鸣

A change in response
反应作出改变

Rules of engagement
交战规则

Relaxation techniques
放松技巧

Advice from a friend or professional (optional)
朋友或专家的建议（可选）

Steps
步骤

STEP 1 Pay attention and listen
1.集中注意，认真倾听

Pay attention, listen, and try to understand – but not to excuse – your partner's problem. Learn what you can about the source of the anger. This will also help to defuse an escalation.
集中注意，认真倾听，努力去理解——但是不要找借口——了解伴侣的问题1]arNyHQR^#e[STsgQA。了解导致他们愤怒的原因Te*lm3*+=0#|2-nPt^。这样可以避免怒火升级2Q5fHX()+EpW。

STEP 2 Change how you respond
2.改变回应方式

Ask yourself how you've handled your partner's anger in the past. Did you hide, become combative, habitually deny, or fearfully run? Change your response to interrupt your partner's patterns.
问一下自己，过去是怎样处理伴侣的愤怒的EKz!NnUJxEF。你是回避，争吵，习惯性地否认还是害怕地跑开？改变自己的反应方式，干扰伴侣的愤怒z#4@Oo#lt,#7*S。

STEP 3 Protect yourself
3.保护自己

Protect your self-esteem in all matters, without indulging the urge to be defensive or retaliatory.
以各种方式保护自己的自尊，而不是过度防卫或想要报复s,WGDn|k[j。

Talk to friends or a trusted professional to gauge whether you are in danger. If you ever feel your safety is threatened, leave immediately.
跟朋友或者值得信赖的专家探讨一下，衡量一下你是否处于危险中zQz-6)X0SsyBO@Ax)o7)。如果你觉得自己的安全受到威胁，立即离开6MdI)0#ZtYe1e064&。

STEP 4 Define rules of engagement
4.定义交战规则

Define rules of engagement: no harsh or insulting statements, no blaming, and no discussion until the partner can be calm.
定义交战规则：不要说出严厉的或侮辱性的言语，不要谴责，不要讨论，直到对方冷静下来VfNd#vOgk_ma。

STEP 5 Breathe without speaking
5.不要说话，深呼吸

Breathe slowly without saying anything. Make eye contact but relax, and remind yourself that this is not about you.
缓缓地呼吸，不要说任何话sWW[L&TrfyGfMPkQ。进行眼神交流，但是要放松，提醒自己，与你无关ArS4FBzaST4=#Mn。

STEP 6 Acknowledge their anger
6.承认他们的愤怒

Acknowledge verbally that you see they are angry, without necessarily needing to understand or agree. They have a right to their feelings, as long as they are not threatening you.
口头上承认你看到他们生气了，而不需要理解或赞同pd8b*zql=F(L~E4。他们有权表达自己的感受，只要没有威胁到你&VjrdSB^sE~c。

Did you know? For college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage dropped from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979 to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994.
你知道吗？对大学毕业生来说，1990年到1994年间，结婚十年内的离婚率下降到稍微超过16%，而1975年至1979年间的离婚率为27%4SwhZH6f*q。
视频听力译文由可可原创，仅供学习交流使用，未经许可请勿转载sfV0TZpFAJ*。