Yes, breakups are painful, even from someone you may have only dated a few times.

没错，分手很痛苦，即使是你只约会了几次的人。

You may have been really excited about him and had a lot of hopes for the future.

或许你对他真的很亢奋，对未来也有很多的期许。

But how empowering to have the mental clarity to say, 'He just wasn't that into me.'

但是要有怎么的授权才能理智的说：“他其实没那么喜欢你。”

Can you imagine that girl in the future? Nothing will be able to stop her.

你可以想象那个女孩未来会怎么样吗？已经没有什么可以阻止她。

Now, there's a million things you can do after a breakup; what you do during that time!—yoga, affirmation tapes, murder!—is your business.

分手之后，你有很多事可以做，这期间你可以干什么呢！——瑜伽、谋杀！随便你。

But basically you're going to have to feel the pain, you're going to have to go through it, and then you're going to have to get over it.

但是你基本上会感到痛苦，而且还要经历着痛苦，然后才能从痛苦中走出来。

All we can try to do is help you do it differently in the future.

我们试着帮助你能在未来有所改变。

The first thing we're going to recommend is setting some standards.

我们首先会建议你定一些标准。

Reset Your Standards

重新定你的标准吧。

Sure, you say, "But I have standards."

当然，你会说，“但我是有标准的啊。”

Well, your standards led you to this audio book, so let's raise them.

没错，你的标准造就了这本有声读物，那就把这些标准读出来。

Let's set a dignified bar for you to exist at.

让我们开一家为你而存在的气派的酒吧。

Let's put you in charge with how it's going to go next time.

让你来规划下一步该怎么走吧。

But you ask, "What if there isn't going to be a next time? "And we say, "Stow that bad-news cargo on the sure-to-sink ship. Because that ship is about to hit Sad Island and we don't want you on it." '

但是你会问：“假如没有下次怎么办？”我们会说：“让装满坏消息的集装箱放到必沉的船上吧。因为这艘船会撞到悲伤岛，我们不想你在岛上。”

A standard is setting a level for yourself of what you will or won't tolerate.

为你自己的标准设定什么是可以忍受的、什么是不可以忍受的级别。

You get to decide how it's going to be for you.

由你决定怎样才是适合你的。

You can now design the person you want to be in the future, and the standards you want to have.

你现在就可以设计一个未来你想成为的人，以及你想有的标准。

Write your new standards down so you'll never ever forget them, no matter how cute he is or how long it's been since you've had sex.

写下你的新标准，这样你才不会忘了，不管他多有魅力，或者你有多长时间没做爱了。

Okay, we admit it, some of our workbook things were little silly, but this one we mean.

好吧，我承认，我们工作簿上的一些事前有点愚蠢，但这就是我们的意思。

Make sure you know what you stand for and what you believe in.

确认你要维护的和你该相信什么。

And because we obviously think we know better than you (we got a book deal, didn't we? ), we're going to give you some standard suggestions.

因为显然我们比你更了解你（我们写了一本，是吧？），我们打算给你一些标准建议。

Standard Suggestions

标准建议

I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.

我不会和没有主动约我的人约会。

I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.

我不会和打电话一直让我等的人约会。

I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.

我不会和不确定是否想和我约会的人约会。

I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.

我不会和与之性生活不理想的人在一起。

I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.

我不会和酗酒、嗑药到令我不舒服的人在一起。

I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.

我不会和害怕畅谈未来的人在一起。

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.

无论如何我都不会把我宝贵的时间花在一个已经拒绝我的男人身上。

I will not date a man who is married.

我不会和已婚男人约会。

I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

我不会和不优秀、不友善、没有爱的人在一起。

Now it's your turn. Only you know the standards you haven't set for yourself. Write them down. Don't forget them.

该轮到你了。只有你知道你没有为自己设定标准。把它们写下来。不要忘了。