The "He Has a Stronger Sex Drive Than I" Excuse

“他比我性欲强烈”的借口

Dear Greg, I have been dating a guy for a year.

亲爱的格雷格，我和一个男人约会一年了。

I found out through a friend that he has been sleeping with someone I sort of know.

我从一个朋友处得知他跟一个我貌似认识的人睡了。

I confronted him, and he told me that I don't give him enough sex and that's why he's been sleeping around.

我跟他对质，他说我没能满足他的性欲，所以他出轨。

He's right. Sometimes I don't want to have sex when he wants to.

他是对的。有时他想做爱，但是我不想。

It's not all the time, but he definitely does want sex more often than I do.

不是一直都这样，但是他确实比我性欲更强烈。

So, in a way, he's right. Should I just forgive him and try to put out more?

所以，这方面来说他是对的。我应该原谅他然后加把劲么？

Signed Lorraine

洛伦

Dear Putting Out, The only thing you should be putting out is any of his clothes that are still in your house.

亲爱的加把劲，唯一应该扔出去的是他所有在你家的衣服。

There is no excuse for him sleeping around. (Period! )

他的出轨没有任何借口可言。（句号！）

There are so many ways to deal with the truly common problem of differing sex drives within a relationship.

恋爱中不同的性欲是真实普遍的问题，有很多途径来解决。

Usually one would start with an adult conversation wherein a discussion ensues that hopefully resolves with the two parties agreeing to work on it—not him jumping in the sack with someone you know!

通常人们以成人间的对话开始，其中接着通过双方都有意愿同意解决这个问题——而不是他跟一个你认识的人上床！

Not only does he not respect you or the relationship, he doesn't respect himself enough to be in a meaningful relationship.

他不仅不尊重你和这段恋情，而且在这段有意义的感情中对自己也不够尊重。

This isn't even a question of "he's just not that into you."

这甚至不是一个“他并没那么喜欢你”的问题。

In this situation, if you like yourself at all, you should definitely not be into him.

在这种情况下，如果你真的爱惜自己的话，你决计不该喜欢他。

Shouting from a closed room, Greg

在附近房间咆哮的格雷格

These last two guys are good. They've betrayed their relationships and humiliated their girlfriends.

最后两位哥们儿真行。他们背叛了自己的爱情，还羞辱了他们的女朋友。

Then they tell them that it's their fault, knowing that they have just done something that has so demoralized them that they will be their most inclined to believe a load of horse crap.

然后他们告诉女友是对方的错，要知道他们做了些让他们感觉沮丧的事，以至于他们更倾向于相信一堆马粪。

If something is wrong in a relationship, here's a bright, mature idea: talk about it.

如果感情出现了问题，明智成熟的做法就是：谈谈。

Don't let any man blame you for their infidelity. Ever.

不要让任何男人把自己的不忠归咎于你，永远都不要。

The "But at Least He Knew Her" Excuse

“至少他知道她”的借口

Dear Greg, I've been going out with a guy for about a year.

亲爱的格雷格，我跟一个男人约会快一年了。

We are in love and get along great.

我们相爱并且处的不错。

Recently he met with his ex-wife who he hasn't seen in about a year. (She had left him because she met someone else. )

最近他遇见了他快一年没见的前妻。（她因为别人离开了他。）

They have been divorced about two years. They slept together.

他们离婚快两年了，他们睡了。

I am very upset and want to break up with him.

我很生气，想跟他分手。

He wants me to forgive him because it wasn't like it was someone new; it was his ex-wife.

他想让我原谅他，因为毕竟不是其他陌生人，是他妻子。