Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable.

不要受宠若惊于他想念你。他应该想念你。你太悲惨了。

However, he's still the same person who broke up with you.

然而，他依旧是那个跟你说分手的人。

Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

记住，他思念你的唯一原因就是他选择了每一天都跟你分开。

The "But It Really Takes the Pressure off of Us" Excuse

“但是它真的给我们减轻了压力“的借口

Dear Greg,

亲爱的格雷格，

I was seeing a guy for about a month.

我跟一个男人约会一个月了。

He broke up with me, saying that he didn't feel like it could be something serious.

他跟我分手了，说他不觉得这是段认真的感情。

I understood and took it well. He wanted to know if we could still hang out as friends. I said sure.

我理解而且接受了。他想知道我们能否继续像朋友一样出去玩儿。我说当然可以。

Now we get together and go out and then come back to his place and have sex, just like we did before. (But now, we're "broken up." )

现在我们在一起，一起出门，回他家做爱，就像我们以前那样。（但是现在我们是分手的。）

He's really, really cute and I love having sex with him.

他真的很帅，我很爱跟他做爱。

I also think he must like me if he can't stop being around me.

我也觉得他一直在我身边一定是喜欢我的。

And I think it's kinda cool—all the pressure's off and we're having a great time together.

而且我觉得这很酷——没有压力了，我们在一起的时光很愉快。

I've decided that I think it's fine and I'm not going to call his attention to the fact that we're actually dating.

我决定我认为这很好，我不打算告诉他我们其实正在约会的事实。

Except for the fact that we broke up.

除了我们已经分手的事实。

Signed Cheryl Lynn

谢丽尔 琳恩

Dear Breaking Up Is Easy to Do,

亲爱的分手是件容易事儿，

My God, this guy is brilliant.

我的天，这哥们太聪明了。

He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings.

他跟你出去，约会，分手，然后继续跟你睡，基本上为自己免除了对你感情的一切责任。

After all, you're not going out anymore. It's genius! It's diabolical!

毕竟，你不会再去跟别人约会了。这太聪明了！这太凶残了！

He should be writing a book, not us!

他应该写本书，而不是我们！

In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to.

事实上，我打赌这哥们儿要是想的话，可以收获一些个人崇拜。

And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well.

让我猜猜看，你一定也很乐意去报名参加。

For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you."

准确的来说，他哥们儿并非“太爱你了以至于无法停止围绕在你身边。”

Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you.

因为这才是离开你就无法生活的男人不会做的事：他们不会跟你分手。

This guy is so seriously not into you, it's crazy.

这哥们儿完全不喜欢你，这很疯狂。

The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are, is how fast you get rid of him.

让你清楚自己有多喜欢对方的唯一途径就是，你要多久能摆脱他。

Greg

格雷格