The "But I'm So Damn Nice" Excuse

“但是我真是太好了”的借口

Dear Greg,

亲爱的格雷格，

My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. (He broke up with me.)

我的男朋友和我一个礼拜前分手了。（他提出的）

He's going out of town to see his mother, who's having an operation, and I volunteered to take care of his two cats, who I love. He accepted.

他出城去看望他做手术的母亲了，我自愿照顾他的两只猫。他同意了。

I think he was really impressed and touched that I'm handling it so well.

我觉得他真的被我把这件事处理得很好感动了。

My friends think I'm a wimp, but I think they're being small.

我的朋友们觉得我没骨气，但是我认为他们太小家子气了。

We had been together for three years—it's not like I'm suddenly not going to care about him or his cats (who are adorable) .

我们在一起3年了——我又不是突然间不去关心他或他的猫（他们非常可爱）。

Signed Dana

戴娜

Dear Cat Lady,

亲爱的猫奴女，

Don't even try it. I'm onto you.

试都别试。我了解你。

If he hasn't figured out after three years that you're the women that will make his life heaven right here on earth, a couple of tins of cat food aren't going to do the trick.

如果他三年都没弄明白你是让他在地球上也能感受到天堂般的日子的人，那几罐猫粮也不会让他明白的。

So how about when he returns from helping his mother with her operation, you surgically remove him from your life?

所以不如当他照料完母亲的手术回来时，你像做外科手术般把他从你的生活里剔除如何？

Hand over his house keys and the number of the pet boarding place that has the nicest ad in the yellow pages.

把他家的钥匙和广告做的最好的宠物寄宿店的电话写在黄色纸张上交给他。

Doing anything above and beyond those measures won't reinstate you as his girlfriend. It will make you his maid.

再做一些超过以上举措的事情不会让你重新成为他的女朋友，而会成为他的女佣。

XOXO Greg

亲亲抱抱，格雷格

Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with dignity.

不要把有气派和受气包相混淆。气派是昂首阔步、有风度的带着尊严离开。

Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal.

做一个受气包则是开车送他去看牙医进行根管治疗。