Chapter 3
第三章

He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
如果他不跟你约会，那他只是没那么喜欢你
"Hanging Out" is Not Dating
“出去玩儿”并不是约会
Oh, there seem to be so many variations to dating, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.
哦，看起来约会有很多的变数，尤其是在恋爱初期。
So many gray, murky areas of vagueness, mystery, and no questions asked.
很多模糊、神秘、无条件的灰色朦胧地带。
Dudes love this time because that's when they get to pretend they're not really dating you.
男人们喜欢这段时间，因为他们可以假装并没有在跟你约会。
Then they also get to pretend they're not really responsible for your feelings.
而且他们还可以假装不需为你的感情负责。

When you ask someone out on a real bonafide date, you're making it official: I'd like to see you alone and find out if we have a romantic future together (or at least pretend to listen to you while I ponder whether you're wearing a thong) .
当你邀请某人进行一次充满诚意的约会时，那是很正式的：我希望能和你单独见面，试试我们是否能开展一段感情。（或者至少在我打量你是否穿着人字拖的时候假装在听你讲话）。
In case you need more clues: There's usually a public excursion, a meal, and some hand-holding involved.
以防你需要更多的提示：它通常涉及公共游览、一顿饭和牵手。
The "He Just Got Out of a Relationship" Excuse
“他刚结束一段感情”的借口
Dear Greg,
亲爱的格雷格，
I'm really, really in love. I want to say that first.
我首先申明，我是真的真的坠入了爱河。
I've been sleeping with a really, really good friend of mine who recently got out of a terrible marriage.
我和我一个特别特别要好的朋友睡了，他刚摆脱一段糟糕的婚姻。
Because he is in the process of going through a very traumatic breakup, he's really clear that he can't have any kind of expectations or demands put on him in any way.
由于他正处于痛苦的分手中，他十分明确自己无法承担任何形式的期望和要求。
Basically, he wants to come and go as he pleases.
总而言之，他希望自己能随心所欲自由来去。
We've been seeing each other and sleeping together for six months now.
我们恋爱并一起睡了半年了。
It's very painful not to be able to have any say about when or how often I get to see him.
无权置喙什么时候、多久见他让我十分痛苦。
Yet it's also very painful to think about not being with him.
但是想象无法和他在一起也很痛苦。
I don't like being in this powerless a position, but I feel like if I hold out, eventually he'll be mine.
我不喜欢处于这样的弱势地位，但是我觉得如果我坚持住了，他迟早会属于我。
But it's very difficult for me in the meantime. What should I do?
但在此期间我处境艰难。我该怎么办呢？
Sighed Lisa
丽莎