Let's talk about Mary first.
我们先来说说玛丽。
Sorry, what? Well, I think you know what. You went out with her for two years.
什么？别装傻，你和她交往过两年。
Er, ages ago. We're... We're just good friends now. Is that a fact?
呃，老黄历了，现在只是朋友。是吗？
Whenever she tweets, you respond within five minutes, regardless of time or current location, suggesting youhave her on text alert.
她发推，你五分钟内必回，随时随地说明你给她设了短信提醒。
In your Facebook photographs of the happy couple, Mary takes centre frame, whereas John is always partly or entirely excluded.
你脸书转发的结婚照里，玛丽总在中央约翰要么挡一半，要么全切掉。
Well, you can't assume from that I've still got some kind of interest in Mary...
那也不能说明我对玛丽还有想法……
You volunteered to be a shoulder to cry on on no less than three separate occasions.
你主动请缨听她哭诉至少三回。
Do you have anything to say in your defence?
有什么要解释的吗？
I think from now on, we'll downgrade you to casual acquaintance.
今后你将被降至点头之交。
No more than three planned social encounters a year and always in John's presence.
每年至多计划三次交往，约翰必须全部在场。

I have your contact details. I will be monitoring.
我有你的联系方式，会随时监控。
They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath.
传言是真的，你就是个神经病。
High functioning sociopath, with your number.
高功能反社会，而且有你电话。
Hello. Darling. Thank you. You look fabulous.Thank you. Thanks for coming, thank you.
你好，亲爱的。谢谢光临。你真美。谢谢。多谢光临，感谢。
Er, yes, well done in the service, Archie. He's really come out of his shell. I don't know how you did it.
仪式上做得不错，亚契。他竟然不害羞，不知道你怎么办到的。
Basically it's a cute smile to the bride's side, cute smile to the groom's side and then the rings. No.
总而言之，对新娘乖乖一笑。对新郎乖乖一笑，拿出戒指。不干。
And you have to wear the outfit. No.
还要穿礼服。不干。
You really do have to wear the outfit. What for?
必须穿礼服。为什么？
Grown-ups like that sort of thing. Why?
大人们喜欢冠冕堂皇。为啥？