Unspoken Messages

不言而喻的消息

陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他跟美国同事Amy一起走出会议室。

(Office ambience)

C:Amy, 今天我第一次主持会议。你觉得怎么样？

A:I thought you did well considering that you have not been in that position before.

C:可我自己觉得挺糟糕的。虽然来开会的人并没说什么，但是我能感觉到，有好几个人并不欣赏我的报告，或者是根本不感兴趣。

A:What made you think that? Anyone in particular?

C:比如说吧，会开到一半的时候，Ken把笔记本一合，双手抱臂，往椅子上一仰。

A:How did you feel when he did that?

C:我立刻很紧张，觉得他认为我的发言很糟糕。

A:I noticed that, too. In fact it was pretty obvious to everyone.

C:你觉得他是故意这样做的吗？

A:Knowing Ken, I would say yes and I would add that he wanted to make sure you got the message.

C:如果他对我有什么意见，我宁可他告诉我。

A:What he did was use his body to send his message. It's a discourteous tactic that many people use in business to express their feelings without putting them in words.

C:你是说在商业界很多人都会用这种方式表达自己的看法，而不是直接把意见说出来，那又是为什么呢？

A:Sometimes people feel safer using body language to intimidate or humiliate others.

C:他们为什么会觉得用肢体语言去羞辱别人更安全呢？

A:I am sorry, Chen Hao. Can we continue this later? I need to meet my boss in five minutes.

C:那你先忙。我们一会儿见。

当天下午陈豪和Amy一起喝咖啡。

C:Amy, 你上午说有人更愿意用肢体语言表达自己的看法。这是为什么呢？

A:People can always refute or deny the meaning of their body language.

C:噢，如果有人事后指责他们表现消极，他们可以矢口否认，说这是误会。那所有人都是有意这样做的吗？

A:A lot of people aren't even aware of their body language. I think that it is often unintentional.

C:很多人都是无意的？你能举个例子吗？

A:Like Sue. Did you notice that she came to our meeting for the first time today?

C:我注意到了，Sue是第一次来参加会议，但是她坐在后面的角落里，从头到尾一言不发。

A:I think she felt left out.

C:你为什么说Sue觉得自己被忽视了呢？

A:Because the two people closest to her kept moving their chairs with their backs turned more and more to her. I don't think it was intentional—they were just trying to see and hear better.

C:Sue 一定是误会了，觉得别人不欢迎她。

A:That's right. So she withdrew as well.