By the end of August, there was detente, if not peace, in our household. Although I was heartbroken and disappointed with Bill, my long hours alone made me admit to myself that I loved him. What I still didn't know was whether our marriage could or should last. I hadn't decided whether to fight for my husband and my marriage, but I was resolved to fight for my President.

到了8月底，我们家庭里才有了缓和，虽然还不是和平。我对比尔痛心而失望，但历经长时间独处反思后，我承认自己依然爱他。我们的婚姻能否继续维持下去我也不知道。我还没有决定是否为我的丈夫和我的婚姻而战，但我已下决心为总统而战。

I had to get a grip on my feelings and focus on what I needed to do for myself. Fulfilling my personal and public obligations drew on a reservoir of different emotions― requiring different thinking and different judgments. For over twenty years, Bill had been my husband, my best friend, my partner in all of life's trials and joys. He was a loving father to our daughter. Now, for reasons he will have to explain, he had violated my trust, hurt me deeply and given his enemies something real to exploit after years of enduring their false charges, partisan investigations and lawsuits.

我必须抚平百感交集的心绪，专注于亟待处理的切身要务，且要以不同的角度来考虑事情，做出不落窠臼的判断，履行对自己及国家的义务。过去二十多年来，比尔不仅是我的丈夫，也是我最要好的朋友、同甘共苦的伙伴，是我女儿心目中的慈父。比尔的政敌多年来只能捕风捉影，捏造一些无中生有的指控，继而针对我们采取徇私偏颇的调查与诉讼。而如今，他得不断解释，比尔不仅深深地伤害了我，辜负了我的信赖，而且授政敌以群起攻击的实质把柄。

My personal feelings and political beliefs were on a collision course. As his wife, I wanted to wring Bill's neck. But he was not only my husband, he was also my President, and I thought that, in spite of everything, Bill led America and the world in a way that I continued to support. No matter what he had done, I did not think any person deserved the abusive treatment he had received. His privacy, my privacy, Monica Lewinsky's privacy and the privacy of our families had been invaded in a cruel and gratuitous manner. I believe what my husband did was morally wrong. I also knew his failing was not a betrayal of his country.

比尔的背叛导致我的私人情感与政治理念激烈交锋。如果仅作为他的妻子，我真恨不得拧断他的脖子，但他不只是我的丈夫，他同时也是美国的总统。无论如何，他领导美国与国际社会的风范依然让我衷心敬佩。我也认为，不管他做了什么，都不应蒙受政敌的百般凌辱。然而，他的隐私、我的隐私、莫妮卡·莱温斯基的隐私和我们这些家庭的隐私，都已无端遭到残酷无情的侵害。当然比尔的行为有违道德，不过我也知道他令人失望的作为并未严重到叛国的程度。