Then I realized that Bill and I had to tell Chelsea. When I told him he had to do this, his eyes filled with tears. He had betrayed the trust in our marriage, and we both knew it might be an irreparable breach. And we had to tell Chelsea that he had lied to her too. These were terrible moments for all of us. I didn't know whether our marriage could―or should―survive such a stinging betrayal, but I knew I had to work through my feelings carefully, on my own timetable. I desperately needed someone to talk to so I called a friend who was also a counselor and sought guidance. This was the most devastating, shocking and hurtful experience of my life. I could not figure out what to do, but I knew I had to find a calm place in my heart and mind to sort out my feelings.

我意识到，我们得向切尔西说出实情。比尔听后，两眼泛着泪光。他背叛了夫妻间的相互信任，我们都很清楚，它会造成无法弥补的裂痕。而且我们还得告诉女儿，父亲也欺骗了她。这对我们全家都是可怕的时刻。我不知道，我们在如此心痛的背叛之后能不能——或是应不应——维持婚姻关系，但我明白我必须以自己的安排来慎重对待目前的感受。我急需找人倾诉，于是致电一位顾问兼好友寻求指引。我经历了毕生最感心力交瘁、最令人震惊、最为伤痛的事情，一时间着实不知所措，只知道我得在心中找到一片静土，抚平心绪。

Despite the emotional wreckage all around him, Bill had to prepare his testimony and work on a statement to make to the nation. As we struggled with this personal and public crisis, the world provided another reality check: In Omagh, Northern Ireland, a renegade Irish Republican gang detonated a car bomb in a crowded market, killing twenty-eight, wounding more than two hundred and badly damaging the peace process that Bill had worked so long and hard to nurture with Irish leaders. As reports of the casualties came in that Saturday afternoon, I remembered the times I'd sat with women in all parts of Ireland to talk about the Troubles and to look for a way to achieve peace and reconciliation. Now that's what I had to try to do in the midst of my own heartrending troubles.

尽管被伤痛的情绪困扰着，比尔仍不得不准备他将提供的证词，以及对全国人民发表的声明。正当我们应付此次个人和公共危机之际，又一项严重的考验发生了：一名北爱尔兰共和军的背叛者在奥马市人群熙来攘往的集市中制造了一起汽车爆炸事件，造成二十八人丧生，两百多人受伤，同时也对比尔长期致力推动的北爱和平进程造成严重的负面影响。我于星期六下午获悉此事之后，不禁想起当年与当地那些女性朋友商谈和平事宜的时光。而此刻，我也正像她们当年那样殚精竭虑地企求和解与平静，只是我这时考虑的是如何恢复个人内心世界的和平。

Bill gave his four-hour testimony on Monday afternoon in the Map Room. Starr had agreed to withdraw the subpoena, and the voluntary session was videotaped and relayed on closed circuit to the grand jury chamber.

星期一下午，克林顿在白宫地图室内，向大陪审团提供了近四小时的证词。独立检察官斯塔尔同意不传唤比尔，而由比尔主动通过闭路电视摄录系统，提供录像证词。

When it was over, at 6:25 P.M., Bill emerged from the room composed but deeply angry. I could tell from his body language that he had been through an ordeal.

下午六点二十五分，比尔结束作证走出地图室时，脸上显露出深恶痛绝的神情。但从他的肢体语言判断，他刚刚经历了一场严酷的考验。