Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse. But then my dad asked me if I had a condom they could use.
Today，my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in.
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday.