Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
乔伊，试镜结果怎么样？
Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
不可思议！我这回碰到导演了，你们绝对不会相信是谁的。
Who?
谁呀？
All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.
好，我给你们一个提示。华伦·比提。（美国最伟大的导演、剧作家和演员）
Wow!
哇哦！
Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind of a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
对，只是有件事，或许会成为问题。我…必须要吻一个男人。
Because he was just so darn cute?
因为他可爱死了？
No, as part of the auditions. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
不，那是试镜的一部份，我试镜的角色是…男主角要亲的男人。
Well, hey. You're an actor, I say youyou just suck it up and you do it. Or you just do it.
你是个演员，那你就放嘴去吻吧，或者去做吧。
I did do it, I'm a professional. Besides, my first girlfriend was Lisa DiBatista. So. .I'm no stranger to the mustache.
我吻了，我很专业。我第一个女友是丽萨·迪芭提斯塔，所以我对胡须的感觉并不陌生。
Then what's the problem?
那有什么问题？
See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and he says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me, not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
我试镜完之后…比提先生过来跟我说“好演技，烂吻技”。你们相信吗？我…我吻技会烂？那就好像…好像是说特丽莎修女（有“妈妈”意思）不是个好妈妈一样。
Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. You know, what's Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh.
好了，谁在乎他怎么想。华伦·比提懂什么叫做接吻？
Hey, what'd your agent say?
你经纪人怎么说？
Yep, this kiss thing is definitely a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday.
接吻这回事绝对是个问题，比提先生星期一要再看一次。
Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, ok, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
我得搞清楚我哪里做错了，你们哪个女的先来吻我一下？
What, forget it! Yeah, right.
你休想。说得好。
Come on, I need your help here.
不要这样嘛，我需要帮忙啊。
All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before, I can do it again.
我以前亲过他，我可以再亲一次。
See this, this is a friend.
看到没？这才叫朋友。
Uhhuh, let's go. Oh, wait I have gum. Ok.
开始。等等，口香糖。好了。
Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
好，非常好，温柔而有力。我会推荐给朋友。
Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
那我就不知道问题出在哪里了？
Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, you know? maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
乔伊，或许你是不习惯亲男人罢了。或许你只是神经紧绷了点，也许你要克服这一点。
Yeah, that makes sense.
对，有道理。
Over my dead body!
除非我死了！
And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
我会用他的尸体来当挡箭牌。
Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
出来吧，你听我说，你很美。跟她说她很美…
Oh my God, you look so good!
老天啊，你好美喔！
I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
真不敢相信我得在200人面前走上红毯…打扮得像是当你呕吐时喝的饮品。
So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your exfiancee's wedding.
那就别去啊，反正我不懂我们干嘛非去不可，这是你前未婚夫的婚礼。
Because I promised Mindy I would.
因为我答应了明蒂。
Yeah, well you promised Barry you'd marry him.
对，你也答应过贝瑞要嫁给他的。
Look, you guys, I have to go, I'm the maid of honor.
各位，我必须去，我是伴娘。
And besides you know what, I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
我只是需要再跟这些人，共聚一堂…而觉得不安。
Oohoh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
有人还穿着昨天晚上的衣服耶，有人有什么艳遇吗？
I may have.
或许吧。
Woohoo, stuud!
种马！（俚语）
What's she look like?
她长得什么样？
Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the Internet.
我们还没见过面呢，只是在网上谈了一整夜而已。
Woohoo, geeek!
傻蛋！
I like this girl, ok, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
我喜欢她，我真的很喜欢她，你们也晓得，有时我会以取笑别人来保护自己...
Get out! Nooo! Please!
少来了…不会啦…拜托...
Well she totally called me on it, ok. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
她直接批评我，她说“少来了，正经一点”，我照办了。
Wow! What's that like?
那是什么样子？
It's like this, me, no jokes.
像这样，我，不开玩笑。
All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.
好了，你吓死我了。
Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
是呀，我不喜欢你这样。好吧，咱们待会儿见了。
Bye, Richard. Byebye.
再见，理查。再见。
Bye sweetie, I love you.
再见，甜心，我爱你。
I love you too.
我也爱你。
I think my boyfriend's ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
我觉得我男朋友好棒哦，不知道我们的婚礼，会是什么样子。
What are you talking about? What wedding?
你在胡扯什么？什么婚礼？
Come on, like you never talked about that.
少来了，你们从没谈过吗？
Nooo! Never! I mean, wewe're just, living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
从来都没有！我们只是很珍惜现在的这一刻，就这么一次不去想“将来会怎么样”，真是棒耶。
Afraid to ask him?
你怕问他吗？
Could not be more terrified.
怕得不能再怕了。
Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
我认为你应该认真考虑结婚这件事情，再给瑞秋一次扮成泡泡糖公主的机会。
I was laughing at this quip Leno made last night. I wasn't laughing at your dress, I love you.
我笑的是昨晚这件搞笑的纱罗织物。我没有笑你的裙子，我爱你。
Where's Benny? There he is! Where's Benny, there he is.
班尼在哪里？他在这里！班尼在哪里？他在这里。
Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grownups to cut it out.
说不定那是宝宝学说话的原因，好告诉大人们“够了”。
Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.
我有个问题想要问你，只是件小事啦，没有压力的。
Ok.
好的。
Do you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
你有想到未来吗？
Sure I do.
当然有。
Yeah, am I in it?
是吗？有想到我？
Honey, you are it.
亲爱的…你就是我的未来。
Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky. Oh, yeah!
天啊，你太走运了。对。
Keep talking.
继续说。
Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
有时我会幻想卖掉我的诊所，我们搬到法国去，做法国吐司。
Ok, so, uh, we're in France, and we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
所以…我们会在法国…然后…我们会做吐司…有没有小摇篮（与“矮脚长耳猎犬”谐音）在角落里？
Like a hound?
猎犬吗？
Not a basset, a bassinet.
不是矮脚长耳猎犬，是摇篮。
You really need the bassinet?
你真的需要摇篮？
Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you, do you not see kids in our future?
宝宝会从狗上面掉下来呀，你没有幻想过我们有小孩吗？
Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
对，我爱小孩，我也有小孩。但我不想七十岁时，孩子开始上大学了咱们的生活才开始。
Look, I want you, now.
我现在…就要你。
That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talking hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
太棒了。我们现在不需要谈这个，真的，我是说，这是好久好久以后的事情。我在说气垫船（《未来水世界》） 和猿人接管了地球以后的事情（《人猿星球》）。
Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
来嘛，钱德，我好想要这个角色哦。一吻就好，我不会说的。
Joey, no means no!
乔伊，不就是不。
Hey!
嗨！
I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.
对不起，我们没看到你的羊。
Aww, Rach, I think you look cute And you, uh, you, you I'd like eat with a spoon.
瑞秋，我觉得好可爱。而你…你…我真想咬你一口。
Get away from me, I said no!
离我远一点，我说不了！
Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs.
理查在楼下等。
Oh, Richard's here. I should run down and say goodbye to him.
理查来了？我要下去跟他说再见。
Bye. Bye, good luck.
再见。祝一切顺利。
So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that.
跟你那个电脑妞进行如何了？那是什么？
Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
网址，那是古根海姆博物馆（纽约著名美术馆）。她喜欢艺术…而我喜欢怪字…
What does she mean by HH?
她说“HH”是什么意思？
It means we're holding hands.
那就表示我们在“牵手”了。
Are you the cutest?
你真是太可爱了。
I'm afraid I might just be.
我想你说对了。
You know, I think it is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
我觉得这个很棒耶，你这么喜欢这个人…可是她可能已经九十岁了，或者是有两个头，或者可能根本是个男人。
Ok, it's not a guy, all right, I know her.
她不是个男的，好吗？我知道她不是。
It could be like a big giant guy.
她有可能是个大猛汉哦。
Man, I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
老兄，我就差这么一点了，却被莫妮卡用膝盖从背后撞我。怎么了？
We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
我们正在猜，钱德的女友是不是女的。
Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
那就问她会活多久就可以了，女人比男人长寿。
How do you not fall down more?
你还能再笨点吗？
Ok, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'
你现在问她用什么方法避孕。
All right.
好吧。
"My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
“我先生跟他的秘书有外遇”，她结婚了？
Well at least we know she's a woman.
至少我们知道她是个女的。
I can't believe she's married.
我真不敢相信她结婚了。
Aw, man I'm sorry. This must be very tough for ya, huh.
老兄，真遗憾。你心里一定很难受了，是吧。
So, I read this article the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
我那天读到了一篇文章说，不应该在婚礼上丢米庆祝，因为鸽子吃了会死掉。
Oh, that's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars. See, we're having fun.
难怪寿司吧里都看不到鸽子。你瞧，我们很开心。
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not gonna be think about.
是啊。你知道，我们不要去想那件事，我根本连想都不想。
Neither am I. Yeah.
我也是。对。
Hey, there. Hi.
嗨。嗨。
Are you all right?
你还好吗？
Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't.
我去上洗手间的时候，看到我结婚时，爬出去的那扇窗子，然后我开始想我不该来的。
People are gonna be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
大家会打量我，评判我，然后就想到上一次的事。
Sweetie, it's be gonna ok, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
亲爱的，你不会有事的，这是场婚礼，通常大家都会注意新娘子。
God I know, you're right.
天啊，我知道你说得对。
All righty, everybody look at me. Good. All right, it's time. Bridesmaids and ushers, let's see two lines, thank you.
好了，大家看着我，很好。时间到了，伴娘跟招待…排成两列，谢谢。
Ok, I'll see you after the thing.
咱们婚礼后见了。
Ok, good luck
祝你好运。
Thank you, Ok, Ok.
谢谢。好。
Why the hell didn't you tell me!
你为什么不告诉我啊？
I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
对不起，我不知道应该怎么做...站起来大叫“瑞秋，你的屁股露出来了”？
Yeah, better you than Barry's uncle. Oh my God this is sooo humiliating.
是的，你说总好过贝瑞的叔叔说，天啊，真丢脸。
I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eighth grade and I had to sing the Copacabana in front of the entire school.
我想唯一比这个还要丢脸的…就是我八年级在全校面前唱《科巴卡巴纳》那次了。
I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
我大概唱了两句就逃走了，天啊，我悲惨的一天再现眼前。
Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
瑞秋，听着，我记得没那么糟的。
Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
罗斯，你不用说好听话给我听，你已经追到我了。
Rachel!
瑞秋。
Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
温伯格先生，温伯格太太，你好。
It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
很高兴又看到你了，亲爱的。老实说，我没想到会看到那么多。
You told me you didn't see anything.
你说你什么都没看到的。
I tell ya a lot things!
我说过很多话。
Well it's wonderful to have you up and about again, dear.
真高兴又看到你出来走动了，亲爱的。
Stay well.
好好保重。
Ok, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
类似刚刚那种话，我今天已经听到三次了。