Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
这个…你何不自己问他呢？乔伊，这是我的新室友艾迪。
Nice to meet you.
幸会。
Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
彼此，你好吗？那我带走了，我就是回来拿这个的，这倒新鲜，你们是哪儿认识的？
At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
我们在超市的民族食品区，我帮他挑西班牙香肠。
Wow.
哇哦。
Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
我们开始聊，他说要找地方住，而我又刚好有一个空房。
Oh, now it's a spare room?
那儿成了空房了？
Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I...have it to spare.
是啊，那房间没有人用…而我就把它空出来。
Well I uh, got what I came for. I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
我拿到我要的了，改天见了。
Hey Jo. When'd you start using mousse in your hair?
乔伊，你什么时候开始抹摩丝的？
Is this guy great or what?
他是不是很棒？
Yeah, yeah he is.
是呀，他很棒。
I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
真不敢相信他有新室友了，这家伙是谁啊？
Uh, Eddie something. He just met him.
好像叫艾迪，他们刚认识。
It'll never last; he's just a rebound roommate.
不会长久的，他只是个室友替代品。
Hey. Hey.
嗨。嗨。
Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
看这个…是“臭臭猫”的音乐电视！
Now OK, I haven't seen it yet, so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video.
我自己都还没看呢，如果你们不喜欢的话呢…那又怎么样？你们又没有音乐电视。
OK.
好了。
Get out of here cat you stink!
滚出去，猫，你臭死了！
Ooh. Smoking!
冒烟耶！
Ooh look at me!
看看我！
Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat. It's not your fault. Smelly, smelly, smelly Really bad smelling smelly cat.
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。他们喂你什么？臭臭猫，臭臭猫。
It's not your fault. Smelly cat, smelly cat...
那不是你的错。臭臭…非常臭的臭臭猫，那不是你的错。臭臭猫…
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
I know.
我知道。
I sound amazing.
我的声音好美喔。
They won't take you to the vet. You're obviously not their favorite pet. Smelly cat, smelly cat. It's not your fault.
他们不带你去看兽医，你显然不是他们的最爱。臭臭猫，臭臭猫。那不是你的错。
I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
我从没听过自己唱的歌，除了在我自己的头里面。这太酷了，我可以听到你们听到的了。
Pretty uhm, pretty different, huh?
蛮不同的吧？
Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented!
不好意思，我实在太才华洋溢！
Smelly cat, smelly cat. It's not your fault.
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。那不是你的错。
Hi Joey, what's going on man?
乔伊，近来如何？
Eddie.
艾迪。
Morning.
早安。
Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. Where's the mail?
我只是过来拿我的信，信在哪儿？
Oh it's uh, over there on the table.
在那边那张桌上。
You don't keep it over here on this table anymore?
你不再把信放在这张桌上了？
No, Eddie likes to keep it over there.
不了，艾迪喜欢把信放在那边。
All right, here you go my friend. Eggs à la Eddie, huh?
好了，请用吧，朋友。这是艾迪风格的鸡蛋。
Wowo. Oh, ooh, that's great.
太棒了。
Huh.
哈。
What?
干嘛？
No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, à la me.
我只是以为你喜欢…面包挖一个洞，中间放蛋呢，我的风格。
Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
我是喜欢，但艾迪是这样做的，真是非常好吃。
Wanna try some man? There's extra.
想尝尝吗？
No thanks.
不了，谢谢。
Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals.
好了，两位…我要出去了。再见，兄弟们。
See ya.
再见。
So how're you two getting along?
你们处得怎么样？
Oh, I couldn't be happier.
再快乐也不过了。
Great, well, I'm happy for ya. All right that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny Neweggs, with his, his, his moving the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'.
很好，我替你高兴。好吧，够了！那个人就这样进来，新蛋先生…变了放信的地方，还有 “再见，兄弟们”。
And now there's no juice. There's no juice for the people who need the juice, want the juice. I need the juice.
现在果汁也没有了！需要果汁的人没果汁喝，我需要果汁。
There's another carton right over there.
那边还有一盒果汁。
Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, all right man?
这不再是关于果汁的事了，好吗？
All right, so what's it about?
好呀，那么是关于什么呢？
Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
蛋。你比较喜欢谁的蛋？他的还是我的？
Well I like both eggs equally.
我两个一样喜欢。
Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
少来了。没人一样喜欢两种不同的蛋，我知道你比较喜欢哪一种。
Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
那有什么差别呢？你的蛋已经不在这个地方了，你已经带着你的蛋走了。你真的期望，我再也找不到一个新的蛋吗？
Well maybe this isn't about the eggs. Maybe this is about the chicken that laid 'em! Hmm?
也许这不是关于蛋的问题，也许是生蛋的鸡的问题。
What chicken? There's no chicken!
什么鸡？哪有鸡？
I can't talk to you!
我没法跟你沟通！
I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
我要看“今夜娱乐”。
Tough noogies, we're watching Predators of the Serengeti.
真不幸，我们要看“塞伦盖蒂野生国家公园的掠食者”。
Would you guys stop?
不要吵了，好不好？
It's my TV.
这是我的电视。
Wha, oh, quit it.
你…住手。
Bite me.
你咬我呀！
Oh my God.
天哪！
Well, Monica keeps changing the channel.
莫妮卡她一直在转台呀。
Oh, that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me?
棒极了，你去跟妈咪告状啊。
Now I'm mommy in this little play? All right look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK?
现在我变成妈咪了？好，听着，我拒绝卷入…这一类畸型的盖勒家庭纠纷。
So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy.
我现在要去洗个香喷喷，热腾腾的泡泡浴…因为妈咪快要被你们逼疯了。
OK, what're we gonna do about this?
这件事我们怎么解决？
Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight.
我们可以，把“今夜娱乐”录下来。
Not that, this, us. Oh my God, Ross, you're, you're, it's jus, you, ever sin you been here.
不是那个！我是说这个，我们！天啊，罗斯，你…你只是你…从你到这儿开始，我都快要被你逼疯了…
Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right?
莫妮卡，你又开始超声波了。
I just can't stand you being here all the time.
我受不了…你老是在这里！
Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, you know, we're just having fun.
为什么？你为什么受不了呢？我们只是在闹着玩而已。
Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
玩？这叫好玩吗？
Yeah, come on, I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just fooling around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.
我以为我们只是在闹，就像我们小时候一样。
Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
罗斯，小时候我恨你耶。
You hated me when we were kids?
小时候你恨我？
Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kinda way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.
对，我恨你。我是说，我就像“你是我哥，所以我必须爱你”那样爱你…但基本上…我恨死你了。
Why did you hate me?
你为什么要恨我？
Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.
因为你对我太残忍了…而且…你…你嘲弄我，你总是…你总是得逞。
And that wasn't fun for you?
你觉得那不好玩？
Duhhuh!
啊哈！
I can't believe you hated me.
真不敢相信你恨我。
Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
现在我爱你，不只是因为我必须这样。
Really?
真的？
Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
只是你现在必须停止惹怒我。
I can do that.
我可以办得到。
Then I won't have to kill you.
那我就用不着杀你了。
So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
你要看“今天娱乐”？
Yeah, thanks.
谢了。
You know what? What?
知道吗？什么？
If you really wanna watch that Serengeti thing, we can.
如果你真的想看那个节目，我还是可以让你。
Ohh...OK.
哦...好吧。
Hey. Hey.
嗨。嗨。
Listen. You are not going to believe this, but, that is not me singing on the video.
听着，你们绝对不会相信的…但是音乐电视上的歌声不是我的。
No.
不！
Yes.
对啊。
Well, how did you find out?
你怎么知道的呢？
Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
唱片公司送了一张纸条来，叫我签名，要我同意…他们找别人来替我唱的，那是我的第一个线索。
So what're you gonna do?
那你打算怎么办？
Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
我没有办法跟这种人一起工作。
Sure.
那当然。
I mean this poor woman.
这个…这个可怜的女人。
Whwhat woman?
什么女人？
The voice woman. You know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
那个代唱的女人。她的声音真是棒透了，可是她没有音乐电视啊。
OK, Pheebs. But what about you?
菲比，那你呢？
Well I have a video, you have to pay attention.
我有音乐电视，你得要用心听。
No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, you know.
这个代唱的人她很有才华。可是那些制作人说，她长得不够好看之类的啦。
I mean, it's like, she's like one of those animals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know.
她就像那种，动物收容所里面的动物…没有人要就因为，她长得不够漂亮而已。
Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Ohh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
或者是像只老狗，浑身发臭…我的天啊，她就是“臭臭猫”！那首歌好有深度。
Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball?
艾迪，来玩桌上足球怎么样？
No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports.
不，谢了，老兄，我不太喜欢运动。
Yeah o, OK, all right. Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
好吧…没关系，“海滩游侠”要开演了。
What, you, you like that show?
你喜欢看那个节目？
You don't like that show?
你不喜欢吗？
Wha, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people running around on the beach, you know.
不，只是一群俊男美女在海滩上跑来跑去。
Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people...and the running.
棒就棒在那里啊。俊男美女，跑来跑去。
I tell you, you know, I'mI'm gonna go read in my room for the while.
我要进我房间看书了。
Oh o, OK man.
好的，老兄。
I think of all the friends I've known. But when I dial the telephone. No one's home. All by myself. Don't wanna live. All by myself. Anymore. All by myself.
我想到和我相知相惜的友人。但我拨电话时。没有人在家。孤孤单单。我不想要一个人。孤孤单单。不想再孤单。孤孤单单。
Umm, I'm gonna start off with a little song called Smelly Cat. Yay. Oh, for those of you who are wondering this is my real voice.
我的最后一首歌曲叫做“臭臭猫”。哦，为了消除你们的疑虑，我要说，这是我自己的声音。
Smelly cat, smellly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。他们喂你什么？一起唱！
Smelly cat, smellly cat, it's not your fault.
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。那不是你的错。
Monica.
莫妮卡。
They won't take you to the vet.
他们不带你去看兽医。
Chandler.
钱德勒。
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
你显然不是他们的最爱。
Joey.
乔伊。
It may not be a bed of roses.
你或许不是一床玫瑰。
Rachel.
瑞秋。
And you're no friend to those with noses.
也没有人会喜欢闻你。
Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. Ok, back to the chorus everybody!
罗斯，歌词都唱完了，抱歉。好了，回到合唱的部分。
Smelly cat, smellly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat smellly cat, it's not your fault.
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。他们喂你什么？臭臭猫，臭臭猫。那不是你的错。
Smelly cat, smellly cat, what are they feeding you? Yeah!
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。他们喂你什么？耶！
Smelly cat, smellly cat, it's not your fault!
臭臭猫，臭臭猫。那不是你的错。