So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. And since it's Rachel's birthday, and we want to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. Agh!
我会准备好蜡烛和我妈的蕾丝桌布。由于是瑞秋的生日，我们要特别一点，我想我会煮一条三文鱼。哦！
What?
咋啦？
Question. Why do we always set the parties where you poach things?
我有个问题。为什么每次我们开派对，你都要水煮东西？
You want to be in charge of the food committee?
你想负责食物委员会吗？
Question Two. Why do we always have parties with committees?
问题二，为什么我们总是开有委员会的派对？
Yeah, really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
对啊，说真的。为什么我们不能买些披萨跟啤酒，大家尽兴地吃喝玩乐呢？
Yeah! Yeah, I agree. You know, i think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. And I'm just not sure we are.
对啊！就是，我同意。我认为只有你内心很特别派对才会很有趣。而我不觉得我们是这样。
Alright. You guys don't want it to be special? Fine! You can throw any kind of party you want.
好吧。你们不想要点特别的？随便啊！你们想办什么样的派对随便你们。
Joey, they're not real!
乔伊，它们是假的！
Ah? Ah.
啊？啊！
I start miles beneath the surface of these things. Okay? They're fake. See? Honk, honk!
这里面空空如也。懂没？它们是假的！瞧见没？空~空~如也！
Wow, it's...it's like porno for clowns!
哇塞！好像……好像给小丑看的色情片哦！
I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
我跟瑞秋的姐妹说过了，她们都不能来。
OK. Um...so I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
好的。呃……那我还得邀请迪伦和艾玛，还有珊侬·库伯。
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Um, no Shannon Cooper.
哇，哇，哇！不要邀请珊侬·库伯。
Why not her? Because she um.... she steals stuff.
为什么？因为她……她会偷东西。
Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
又或许她不会偷东西，只是乔伊跟她上床后就没再给她打过电话了。
Joey, that is horrible.
乔伊，那太过份了。
Hey, I liked her. Alright? Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know. I...I guess I just got scared.
嘿，我挺喜欢她的，好吧？或许，或许是太喜欢了。我不知道。我……我想我只是害怕了。
Oh, my god! I'm sorry, I didn't know.
天啊！对不起，我不知道是这样的。
I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay!
没想到居然会有人相信。好啦！
Hi, honey. How did it go?
亲爱的，什么情况？
It was the graduation from hell.
地狱般的毕业典礼。
You know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
知道吗？我表弟靠足球奖学金上的“地狱大学”。
You know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduated from college. Nobody thought she would.
这本该是个快乐的场合。我妹妹从大学毕业了，谁也没料到。
It's a true testament to what a girl from Long island will do for a Celica.
这也真实地说明了，一个长岛女孩为了一部赛利卡跑车（丰田）愿意做什么。
So what happened?
那到底怎么了？
My parents happened.
是我父母啦！
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly and not talk about the divorce. But noooo!
他们只需要坐在同一个体育馆里，露出骄傲的笑容，绝口不提离婚的事，但他们做不到！
They got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. Agh!
开幕致词到一半时，他们吵得不可开交。主教甚至得停下来，叫他俩住口。哦！
You know what? You know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.
你们知道好消息是什么吗？我接下来得为人倒八小时的咖啡。
OK. So I guess we don't invite her parents.
那我想我们还是不要邀请她父母了。
Well, how about just her mom?
只邀请她妈妈怎么样？
Why her mom?
为什么是她妈妈？
Because I already invited her.
因为我已经邀请了。
Woo, woo, did you ask Stacy Roth?
哦，哦，你邀请史戴西·罗斯了吗？
Ay, can't invite her. She also steals. So does her roommate.
唉，不能邀她。她也会偷东西。还有她的室友也是。
Okay! Here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
好啦！这是生日蛋糕的蜡烛，生日蛋糕在哪儿呢？
Okay, we're not having birthday cake. We're having birthday FLAN.
是这样的，我们不吃生日蛋糕，改吃生日馅饼。
Excuse me?
什么？
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
是一种传统墨西哥蛋奶沙司甜点。
Oh, that's nice. Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!
哦，很不错哦！生日快乐，瑞秋，来点糨糊吧！
Dr. Green! Oh, my God! It's Rachel's dad. What are you doing here?
格林医生！老天啊，是瑞秋的爸爸。你来做什么呀？
What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
怎么了？女儿生日，老爸过来看看也不行吗？
No, no, the father can. But um...since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So byebye.
不，不，老爸当然可以。但是……由于我是她室友，我可以告诉你她不在。我会转告她你来过了，好吧？所以，再见了。
Oh! You're having a party! !!
哦~~~你们要开派对！
No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of people Rachel knows.
不是，不是派对啦。只是一群瑞秋认识的人的惊喜聚会。
Um, this is Phoebe, and Chandler and Joey. I'll never remember all of that.
呃，这是菲比，钱德和乔伊。 我肯定记不住他们名字的。
So um...what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
那么……你们怎么计划的？瑞秋回来，大家跳出来尖叫，是这样吗？
This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?
这不是您的第一个惊喜派对，对吧？
Hi, Monica.
你好，莫妮卡。
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
中餐馆的伙计。他忘记拿菜单了。
So, basically just a Chinese guy.
所以，就只是个中国人而已。
Hey! Dr. Green, why don't you come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
嘿！格林医生，你跟我来好了。我们把你外套放瑞秋床上去。
All right. That sounds like a twoperson job.
好吧，听起来像是需要两个人一起干的活儿。
Well, my goodness! What was that?
我的天，你刚才怎么了？
Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we weren't ready for you yet.
桑德拉，真对不起，我以为你是瑞秋，而我们还没准备就绪。
You thought I was Rachel?
你以为我是瑞秋？
Yes, because um...you look so young.
对啊，因为……你看起来好年轻。
And because you're both, you know, white women.
而且你们两个都是……白种女人。
Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
哦，我好想念你们啊！我应该把外套放进卧室吗？
No! No, I'll take that for ya.
不！不用，交给我就好了。
Oh, well, thank you. Okay. Such a gentleman. Thank you.
那就谢了。没事儿。真是个绅士。谢谢。
Oh! It all looks so nice, so festive. The balloons. Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was driving...
哦！看起来好棒啊，充满节日的气氛。还有气球。对了，我过来的路上发生了一件非常有趣的事情。我正开着车……
Haha, that's great, hahaha! I can't wait to hear the rest of it, you know. But I really have to go to the bathroom. So...Hey, come with me.
哈哈，太有趣了，哈哈哈！我迫不及待想听你说完，但是我真的要去趟厕所。所以……嘿，你跟我一起去吧。
What? Yeah, yeah, we'll be like gal pals, you know, like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. Come on!
什么？对的对的，就是你，就像我们是闺蜜那样，在餐厅里。会很好玩的！走吧。走啊！
I didn't see...
我不认为……
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
天哪，天哪，天哪！
OK! Think. Think. What would Jack and Chrissy do?
想一想，快想一想。杰克跟克里斯会怎么做？（肥皂剧《三人行》的主角，克里斯瞒着家人与杰克做室友）
Okay, now your coat is safely in the bedroom...Okay! We can come back out in the living room.
好了，你的外衣已安全放到床上了……好的！我们现在可以回客厅了。
So um, Joey and Chandler, I...I think it's time you take Dr. Green over to your place.
对了，乔伊，钱德，我想是时候让你们带格林医生去你们的公寓了。
Um...Yes, absolutely. Um...why again?
呃，对，完全正确。呃，能再问一次为什么吗？
Because that's where the party is, you goon!
因为派对在你们那边呀，你个傻瓜！
See, this is just the staging area. Right, it's the staging area. This is more than anything else. This is staging area.
这边只是准备区。对。这边是准备区。这边只是准备区。仅此而已。
This is clearly in the wrong apartment. You can't...
明显搞错地方了。你不能……
All right, you guys are off to party number one. And you...you, are off to party number two. All right, fellas, let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving.
好吧，你们去一号派对。而你们……你们去二号派对。好了，小伙伴们，继续走，继续走。
Chandler, could you please at least send some women to my party?
钱德，你至少安排几个女的来我这边好吗？
Okay, that's Ross. Alright.
是罗斯，做好准备。
Okay, they're coming. Shh!
好了，他们来了，嘘！
Oh! Thank you for such a wonderful dinner.
哦！谢谢你美妙的晚餐。
Thanks for being born. Oh!
谢谢你出生。哦！
Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect.
谢谢你送的漂亮耳环。简直太赞了。
Oh! I love you. Oh!
哦！我爱你。哦！
Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay?
你想的话，可以拿它们去换别的。
Ahem, Now I love you even more.
嗯，现在我更爱你了。
Surprise! Oh, my gosh! Wow! Monica! Oh, my God. Mom! This is so great! Happy birthday, sweetie.
惊喜！天啊！哇！莫妮卡！天啊！妈妈！真是太棒了！生日快乐，亲爱的。
Wow, you...you! I had no idea! Really? No, I knew. All right.
哇，你……你！我完全被蒙在鼓里！真的？不，我知道的。好吧。
Okay, everybody. There's food and drinks on the table.
各位，桌上有吃的跟喝的。
Go across the hall. What? What? Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go. Now!
去对面。什么？什么？现在去乔伊跟钱德那边，去呀，马上！
Why? Just go. Weird.
为什么？去就是了。真奇怪。
Surprise! Hahahahahahaha...Happy birthday, sweet pea. Daddy! Wow oh!
惊喜！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈……生日快乐，小甜豆。爸爸！哇塞！
Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? Well, we could count again.
他们都来了？两个？两个都来了？我们可以再数一遍。
I can't believe this is happening!
我真是难以置信。
You know what? This is ridiculous. Okay? This is your birthday, this is your party. I say, we just put them all together. If they can't deal with it, who cares?
这太荒唐了。这是你的生日，你的派对。让我说就把他们放在一起，如果他们还要吵架，谁在乎啊？
I do. That's who!
我在乎啊！就是你了！
Look, are you gonna be okay?
你不要紧吧？
Well, I have to be. I don't really have a choice. I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side. I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
我必须好好的。我根本别无选择嘛。我可以往好的方面想啊。我有两个生日派对，两个生日蛋糕。
You know, actually just...ONE birthday FLAN.
其实只有……一个生日馅饼。
What?
你说什么？
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. Look! Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee. I can't...
那是一种传统墨西哥蛋奶沙司甜点。你去跟莫妮卡讲比较好。她是食物委员会的。我木法……
Joe, Joe! Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said,"I want you, Dennis"...and stuck her tongue down my throat. I love this party!
乔，乔！嘿，刚才有个女的走过来跟我说 “我想要你，丹尼斯”……然后给了我一个舌吻。我爱死这个派对了！
Nice!
赞啊！
Quick! Quick volleyball question. Volleyball?
快！快回答我个排球问题。排球？
Yeah! We set up a court in your room. Um...You didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
对！我们在你房间弄了个球场。呃……你不是真心喜欢那个灰色的灯，对吧？
Joey, a woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you.
乔伊，刚才有个女人给我一个舌吻。我根本就没在听你说话。
Dennis! Okay, that's me.
丹尼斯！好啦，她在叫我了。
Listen. Honey, can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while.
亲爱的，你能陪我爸一会儿吗？我要去跟我妈讲一下话。
Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
好的。我的开场白，你有什么建议不？
Um...Let's just stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter" and you should be okay.
呃……你只要避开“我是那个上你女儿的人”，应该就不会有事的。
Okay, people! I want you to take a piece of paper...Here you go. Oh! And write down your most embarrassing memory.
大家听好！我要你们一人拿一张纸……给你。哦！然后写下你们最尴尬的回忆。
Oh! And I do ask when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them. Because they will dry out.
还有，请各位在用完记号笔之后，把笔帽盖上。不然的话，笔会干掉的。
Hi, Dr. Green. So, um...how's everything in the um...vascular surgery...game?
你好，格林医生。血管外科游戏中的一切都还好吗？
It's not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today.
那不是游戏，罗斯。今天有个女人死在我手术台上。
I'm sorry.
真抱歉。
See? That's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
看，那正是我工作的优势所在。在我工作台上的所有恐龙，都已经死了。
Listen, you guys! Um, I don't mean to be a pain about this, but um...I've noticed some of you are just placing them on. You want to push the caps...until you hear them click.
听着，各位！我不是故意烦你们，但是……我注意到有些人只是套上笔帽而已。你们应该是用力按……直到听到喀哒的一声为止。
Gunther! Where you going?
甘瑟！你要去哪里啊？
I um...was sort of thinking about maybe...
我……我在想，或许我……
No! No, you can't go! No, this is fun. Come on! We're just starting. Here's your marker.
不！不，你不能走！别走，这很好玩的。来啊！我们才刚开始。这是你的笔。
Listen! If you want to go, just go.
听着，如果你想走，走就是了。
No! She'll yell at me again.
不行！她会再吼我。
All right. I can get you out.
好吧，我可以把你弄出去。
What?
什么？
Sh! In a minute, I'll create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
嘘！等一下我会转移她的注意力。到时候，你赶快朝门走，不要回头。