Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
好了，不准偷看。不准偷看。不准偷看！
Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
好，不过我睁开眼睛时，你最好穿着衣服。
Alright open your eyes.
好了，睁开眼睛。
Sweet Mother of all that is good and pure.
我的妈呀，我的小乖乖！
Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option.
“我们的日子”跟我续约了！
Congratulations! I know!
恭喜！我知道！
Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen. Uhhuh.
现在我们终于可以像样地看《绿色田野》了。嗯哼。
So uh, which one is mine?
哪一张是我的？
Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. Not that one.
喜欢哪张就挑哪张，喜欢哪张就挑哪张！那张不行。
Ohh yes.
哦，天呐！
Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
哦，天呐！这才叫生活。
Do we dare?
我们敢吗？
We dare.
我们敢。
Aaahhhh. AAAAHHHHHH.
啊啊啊啊...
I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
真不敢相信，两头牛做出这么大牺牲就，为了让你们跷起腿来看电视。
Well they were chairshaped cows. They never would've survived in the wild.
不，它们是椅形牛。它们在野外无法生存的。
This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically lifesize.
这个屏幕太炫了，迪克·凡·戴克（身材矮小的著名老演员）看起来跟真人一样大。
Woah!
哇！
Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
露丝·玛丽不该上这么大的屏幕，对不对？
Hi you guys. Hey.
嗨，各位。嗨。
Hey you. Hey you.
嗨。嗨。
Woah, hey, yo.
喔噢。
So, uh, how was your day?
你今天怎么样？
Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
和平常没什么不同。晴空万里，鸟儿欢唱。
Really? Mine too.
真的？我的也是。
Hey cool, mine too.
酷，我的也是。
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
我得回博物馆一趟，我们今晚见？
OK.
好的。
Bye guys. Bye.
再见，各位。再见。
Tonight? Hey, yo.
今晚？嘿呦。
What's tonight?
今晚什么事？
It is our first official date. Our first date.
今晚我们将第一次正式约会。第一次约会。
Uh, hello.
喂？
Hi.
嗨。
Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you?
今晚你说要帮我当服务生的，我承办的酒席。我的话有没有让你想起什么？
God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
哦，天啊，莫妮卡，我忘了！这是我们的第一次约会。
Yes but my mom got me this job.
但这工作是我妈帮我找的。
OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress.
我可以当服务生。
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
谢谢…菲比…哦！谢谢谢谢谢谢！看到了么？还有菲比！
Really Pheebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
真的，菲菲？你必须真的当服务生。这不是像 “我可以当小熊”之类的。
I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick 'em, lalalalala, lalalalala.
我可以当服务生，瞧我的：给我两份一号餐，培根要八六分熟一份亚当夏娃叠吐司。
It's James Bond.
詹姆斯·邦德！（007）
Sorry we're late.
抱歉，我们来迟了。
Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
没关系，请进，请问莫妮卡·盖勒来不来？我听说她要来。
Dr. Burke, it's, it's me.
柏克大夫，是我，莫妮卡。
Monica? My God you used to be so...I mean you, you, you, you must've lost like...You look great.
莫妮卡？老天，你以前好…我是说你…你一定减了…你美极了。
Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
谢谢。这是我朋友菲比，她今天晚上来帮忙。
Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. So, how you been?
菲比，幸会。你近来如何？
I've been great, just great. How have you been?
很好呀，很好，你呢？
Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, by the way otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
你应该知道我跟芭芭拉分手了，不然你不会来歪头那一招。
The head tilt?
歪头？
Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. 'How you doing? You OK?'
对，自从离了婚，当别人向我问好时，他们总是同情地歪头问 “你好吗？不要紧吧？”。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
No no, it's, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the "I'm OK" head bob. 'I'm OK.' 'You sure?' 'Yeah, I'm fine.'
不，不，没关系，相信我，我也一样。我总是以点头来表示 “我没事”。“你确定？” “对，我没事”。
Hey listen, I gotta set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CDs to change.
听着，我得去放音乐了，我有个新的CD换碟机。当然了，离婚的结果是我只剩四张CD可换了。
Oh, that's too bad.
真不幸。
I'll survive.
我死不了的。
Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, GellerGreen, they'll let you in, OK.
两个大份，都多加奶酪。听着，别按十九号的电铃，按二十号，盖勒和格林的公寓。她们会开门，懂吗？
If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
按我们的门铃就没小费。好的，谢谢。披萨马上就来。我说过我们不用起来的。
What if we have to pee?
如果要尿尿呢？
I'll cancel the sodas.
我把汽水取消。
You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
你必须回去里面。这是你的派对。
But they're so dull, they're all ophthalmologist.
可是他们好乏味！他们都是眼科医生。
You're an ophthalmologist.
你也是眼科医生。
Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sheriff.
那是因为我父母要我那样，我本来想当警长的。
That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
真好笑，凯迪拉克、白内障（发音近似），我懂了，不，我懂了，你待在那里！
You see?
瞧？
Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
好吧，这样吧，五分钟后我来叫你，就说烤肉出了问题好了。
OK. Aw, you better. Oh God, here we go. Hey wanna see them go nuts? Watch this. Who needs glasses?
好吧，你最好这么做。天，我这就去。想看他们发狂吗？瞧我的。谁需要杯子？
You are so smitten.
你好神魂颠倒。
I am not.
我才没有。
Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
你就像只神魂颠倒的小猫咪。你应该约他。
Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grownup.
柏克大夫？我不这么认为。我是说，他是个大人。
So. You two are totally into each other.
所以呢？你们两个完全互相着迷。
Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
菲比，他是我父母的朋友，他大概比我大二十岁。
OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
那你就再也不跟他见面了？
Never? I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
永远不见？我明天约好要去他那儿检查眼睛。
Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked?
你不是才检查过眼睛吗？
Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age.
是啊，但是…27是个应该当心眼睛的年龄。
They're picking teams to play Guess My Prescription. Help me!
他们要玩“猜猜我的处方”的游戏，救我！
Come on, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little...hard to follow.
我不是说这部电影不好看。我只是说这电影有一点点…难懂。
I told you there was gonna be subtitles.
我说过会有字幕的。
I know, I just didn't wanna wear my glasses on my first date.
我知道，我只是不想在咱们第一次约会的时候戴眼镜。
Monica?
莫妮卡？
It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's name.
我亲你的时候，你能别叫我妹妹的名字么？
Honey, I'm just checking. Oh.
亲爱的，我只是看看莫妮卡在不在家。哦。
Monica. Mon.
莫妮卡？莫妮卡？
Monica. Mon.
莫妮卡？莫妮卡？
Monica?
莫妮卡？
What, what?
怎么了？
I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
抱歉，哦天哪，对不起。只是当你的手滑到我屁股上时，就感觉像“哇，罗斯在摸我屁股！”抱歉。
And that's, that's funny why?
那为什么好笑？
Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, you know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
那不好笑，对不起。我猜我只是有点紧张。我是说，这是你，是我们，我们马上要越过那条普通朋友的界线，这是件大事。
I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, haha big.
我知道这是件大事。我只是不知道这事大得能让你哈哈大笑。
OK.
好的。
OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
我的手离你屁股很远。
I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
我知道，我知道，我知道，我知道，我知道！我只是想到你的手刚才在那个地方。对不起，对不起，对不起。
OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
好吧，好吧，听着，我保证不会再乱笑了。好，把手放回去。
No see now, now I can't 'cause uh, I'm feeling too selfconscious.
不，现在换我不行了。我觉得太不自然了。
Come on touch my butt. No!
来，摸我的屁股。不！
Just one cheek.
一边就好了。
Nuh, uh, the moment's gone, you know?
不，没那个感觉了。
Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
好吧，就把手伸出来，我自己靠过去。
That's romantic.Come on touch it.No.Oh, come on squeeze it.No.Rub it.No.
好“浪漫”。来吧，摸一下。不要。来吧，捏一下。不要！要不揉一下？不要。
Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass! !!
哎！来嘛！你就抓下我屁股，好吗？
Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow its expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax.
你瞧瞧，车子起火了…可是它那昂贵的烤漆…却被奇迹蜡保护得毫发无伤。
You got a Cheeto on your face man.
你脸上有芝士，老兄。
Hi. Hey.
嗨。嗨。
What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
你来这儿干什么？不是要跟瑞秋出去吗？
That was 14 hours ago.
那是十四个小时前。
Wow. We gotta set the clock on this.
我们应该在上面放个表。
So how'd it go?
那结果如何？
Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, fooling around with a girl and uh, started laughing?
听着，你们有没有试过，跟一个女孩亲热…然后她开始笑起来…？
Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.
有啊，不过…那是1982年，我的海鸥发型，让她的下巴发痒。
She laughed at you?
她笑你吗？
I mean, you know. It could have been worse. I could have been naked.
那一定更糟，如果我光着身子的话。
Yeah. I mean I just...you know I waited...I know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and...
我从九年级的打字课起，就想这一刻了。我只是希望一切能完美…顺利，而…
Why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
激光束为什么切不断烤漆？
It's the Miracle Wax. It certainly is a miracle.
是奇迹蜡的关系。那绝对是一项奇迹。
Hi you guys. Hey.
各位。嗨。
Hi. Listen, I was um, thinking about...
听着，我在想…
Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
你们可以大声点吗？你们放低声音，我们很难听到。
Hallway?
去走廊？
Yeah.
好。
OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really wanna make it up to you.
昨晚的事我很抱歉，我真的真的很想补偿你。
No, you, you know there's no need to make it u...how?
你不需要补偿我…怎么补偿？
Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
我在想，或许来顿浪漫的晚餐…烛光加上美酒，或许回我那边去…点心？
Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
听起来…很完美。
What's this?
这是什么？
You get us a couple of beers?
帮忙买两瓶啤酒，好吗？
I'm going to look into your eyes now.
我现在要看你的眼睛了。
Really?
真的？
Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up...look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me...
对，那是我的工作。好，看上面，看下面，不，张开眼睛看下面。那就对了。看光线这里，现在看我。