Monica: Who the wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes.
我的小不点儿。你是个小小的小不点儿。
Monica: Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
不要哭啊，不要哭嘛！他为什么还在哭？
Ross: Don't worry. It's nothing that can't be solved by " happy keys. " -Rachel: Yeah.
不要担心，没什么东西不能用“快乐钥匙”搞定的。-好耶。
Joey: Yeah, I feel much better when someone shakes jagged metal in my face.
当有人在我面前晃动有缺口的金属时我就会感觉很好。
Ross: All right, here. Let me hold him for a sec. There. here we go. Huh? There we are. -Monica: Maybe it's me.
好了，这里我来抱他一下来，爸爸抱。看，不哭了。-或许是因为我。
Ross: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Cranky pants.
别傻了，班爱你。他只是有点像怪癖裤子先生（卡通形象经常说“别碰我”）。
Chandler: You know, I once dated a Miss Cranky pants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.
我曾跟一个怪癖裤子小姐约会过。挺可爱的，就是有点情绪化。
Ross: There we go, all better. -Monica: There's my little boy. -Chandler: Can I see something? -Joey: Cool.
好了，好多了。-这才是我的小乖乖。-我可以试一件事吗？-酷哎。
Monica: He hates me. My nephew hates me. l'm unemployed and my nephew hates me.
他恨我，我的侄子恨我。我没了工作而且我侄子还恨我。
Ross: Oh stop, don't do this. You're just unemployed.
哦，得了，别这样说嘛，你只有没工作而已。
Monica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
要是我自己孩子恨我，那时我该怎么办啊？
Chandler: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem?
莫妮卡，打住，你疯了吗？你知道你还要多久才会遇到这个问题吗？
Chandler: I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
我是说你现在连男朋友都没有。乔伊，她看起来也不胖啊！
Monica: Here you go. -Chandler: oh, hey, Mon. -Joey: waaah. Goo, goo, goo, waaah!
拿去。-嘿，莫妮卡。-哇！咕，咕，咕！哇！
Monica: That is so funny. Let me see that thing.
真好笑，那个借我一下。
Joey: Are you ok, Ross? -Ross: I don't know. What's in this pie?
你还好吧，罗斯？-不知道，馅饼里有什么呀？
Monica: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, and lime, kiwi— -Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
不知道，奶油，鸡蛋，面粉，酸橙，奇异果跟…… -奇异果？奇异果？！你说这个是莱檬派。
Monica: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special. -Ross: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.
不是，我说的是奇异果莱檬派。所以才会那么特别。-所以才会杀了我。我对奇异果过敏。
Monica: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.
你才不会呢 你会过敏的是龙虾，花生跟……天啊。
Ross: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse. -Monica: OK, alright. Is your tongue swelling up? -Ross: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
越来越严重了。-你的舌头肿了吗？-要不然就是我的嘴小了。
Monica: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
穿上外套，我们现在就去医院。
Joey: Is he gonna be ok? -Monica: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.
他没事的吧？-没事，只是得打一针。
Ross: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?
事实上我觉得好多了，没错。别去了。谁要玩拼字游戏啊？
Monica: Jacket now. -Ross: What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital. -Chandler: We'll watch him. -Ross: I don't think so.
去穿外套！-但是班怎么办呢？我们不能带个宝宝去医院啊。-我们会照看他的。-我觉得不行。
Joey: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
什么？我有七个天主教姐妹。我照顾过上百个小孩。别这样，我们想帮忙，对不对？
Chandler: Well I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
我本来想去打篮球的……不过我估计这是没戏了。
Ross: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
好吧，如果你要带他去散步，记得要帮他戴帽子，冰箱里还有一些牛奶。尿布在袋子里。
Joey: Hat, milk, got it. -Ross:...-Joey: Consider it done.
帽子，牛奶…懂了。-（叽里呱啦） -包在我身上。
Chandler: You understood that? -Joey: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue. -Chandler: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
你听得懂吗？-懂啊，我沙叔叔就有大舌头。-是老婆很漂亮的那个？
Phoebe: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower. -Rachel: OK.
瑞秋，要不要听听我今天下午要唱的新歌呢？今天早上洗澡的时候写的。好的。
Phoebe: I'm in the shower And I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy and my hair is wet. And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget.
我一边洗澡一边在写歌，听过的话请阻止我。我全身泡沫，头发湿漉漉，香皂倒过来是皂香。
Terry: Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see ya for a minute? -Rachel: What's up?
瑞秋，亲爱的，麻烦你过来一下好吗？-什么事啊？
Terry: F.Y.I. . I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie something. She's supposed to be very good.
告诉你…我决定以后周日的下午要付钱请一位职业歌手来演出。她叫斯蒂芬妮什么的，很出色的。
Rachel: But what about Phoebe? -Terry: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad,...she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain...and swirl it around.
但菲比怎么办？-瑞秋，你的朋友不只是差而已，她实在是太差……差到让我想把手指头插进我的眼睛里一直插到脑浆里然后搅成浆糊。
Rachel: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her. -Terry: Huh. -Rachel: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
那好，你不是她的歌迷，可是你不能这样对她嘛。-嗯。-哦不不不不，哦，不不不不，你叫我出面给她说？
Phoebe: Lather, rinse, repeat. And lather, rinse, repeat. And lather, rinse, repeat. As needed.
涂皂，冲水，再一次…涂皂，冲水，再一次…涂皂，冲水，再一次……视需要而定。
Chandler: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
我觉得我们东西没有带够，你有没有记得把宝宝的止痛药带出来？
Joey: i'm telling you It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all right? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing.
我告诉你，这绝对值得。大家都知道女人最爱宝宝了。女人爱喜欢宝宝的男人。这是感性的问题，懂吗？
Joey: Quick, aim him at that pack of babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. Wait, forget them. We got one. Hard left.
把他对准那边那群美眉，说不定待会儿有一个会过来。不……等一下，算了，正左方。
Joey: -Give me the baby. -Chandler: -No, I got him. -Joey: Come on, seriously. -Chandler: Oh, seriously. you want him?
来，宝宝给我抱。-不给，我要抱他。-快，我说真的。-你真的要他吗？
Caroline: Hello. And who is this little cutie pie? -Chandler: Well, don't, don't think me immodest, but, me?
这个小可爱是谁啊？-不要怪我不懂得谦虚，但……是我？
Joey: You wanna smell him? -Caroline: I assume we're talking about the baby now. -Joey: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
要不要嗅嗅他？-我想你指的是宝宝吧？-是呀，他的宝宝味好香。嗅嗅他的头。
Caroline: I think my uterus just skipped a beat. -Joey: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? -Caroline: I think it's great you guys are doing this. -Chandler: Well, we are great guys.
我想我的子宫刚刚顿了一下。-你看吧。-我觉得你们这样做很棒。-我们都是很棒的男人。
Caroline: You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?
我弟弟跟他的男友试了三年都领养不到孩子。你们是找哪一家机构办的？
Phoebe: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
这是我的表演。这是我的地盘。我的名字用粉笔写在外面，你不能把粉笔擦掉的。
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry. -Phoebe: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
对不起，我很抱歉。-而且他居然还要付这个女人钱。那他干脆给她一个宝座，一顶皇冠，还有一根上面有球的权杖好了。
Rachel: Terry is a jerk, OK? That's why we're always saying"Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
特瑞是混蛋，所以我们才会常说“特瑞是混蛋”，不然我们干嘛那么说。
Phoebe: Yeah, OK. You probably did everything you could. -Rachel: OK, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do.
好吧，你应该已经尽力了。-好吧，这样让我看看还有没有别的办法。
Rachel: All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
好吧，听着，听着，你何不让她接在那个斯蒂芬妮什么的后面唱啊？你又不在这里，又不付她钱。
Terry: I, I don't know. -Rachel: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine. -Terry: You don't clean the cappuccino machine? -Rachel: Of course I clean it.
我不知道。求你了，我帮你洗卡布奇诺机好吗？-你没洗过卡布奇诺机吗？-我当然洗了。
I mean, I, I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it. -Terry: Oh, all right, fine, fine, fine.
我是说我会清洗，我会好好地清洗…… -好吧，好吧，好吧...
Rachel: Done. -Phoebe: Really? -Rachel: Yeah. Who's workin' for you, babe?
办成了。- 真的？-对呀，看谁为你出马嘛，亲。
Phoebe: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get? -Rachel: What?
天啊，好兴奋哦。我会收到多少钱啊？-什么？
Phoebe: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing, so?
你说他要付钱给演出的人，所以……
Rachel: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman because she's a professional.
哦，不，不不，我是说他要付另外那个女人钱，因为她是职业歌手。
Phoebe: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid. -Rachel: Well, but Phoebs.
我可不想当那个唯一没有收到钱的人。-但是，菲比。
Phoebe: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band.
不，对不起，不，不，我可不是什么二流的……慈善乐团。
Phoebe: You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play.
你知道么，这个城市里面有上千个地方……愿意付钱听我来演唱。
Phoebe: When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. Thank you!
我为自己而演唱，我不需要你的施舍。谢谢！
Ross: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth, you know, like a squirt gun.
你说什么都别想叫我打针。我是说，或许他们可以把……药水射进我的嘴里，就像水枪那样。
Monica: Honey, why don't we just wait and See what the doctor says.
亲爱的，我们还是等等看医生怎么说吧。
Ross: They've got to do something. These are the 90's.
他们肯定会做些什么吧，现在都是九十年代了。
Doctor: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having a little allergic reaction.
你们好，我是卡林医生。我看好像有人有一点点过敏的反应。
Monica: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
对，医生 我可以单独跟你谈谈吗？我哥哥有一点点害怕打针。
Ross: Did you tell him about my squirt gun idea?
你有没有告诉他我那个水枪的主意？
Monica: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
我的博士哥哥想知道……有没有可能用口服的药？
Doctor: No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
在这种情况之下，打针是避免不了的，而且要马上打。
Ross: So? -Monica: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just going to have to be brave. Can you do that for me? -Ross: OK.
怎么样？-好吧，坐下来。医生说这一针非打不可。所以你一定要勇敢起来，为我这么做，好不好？-好吧。
Monica: OK. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? -Ross: yeah. -Monica: OK.
你做得非常好。要不要握紧我的手啊？-嗯。-好的。
Monica: All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really. Don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
罗斯，不要握得那么紧。真的，不要握那么紧罗斯。放开我的手！
Chandler: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi! Taxi!
还真是个好计划。下一回想泡妞……我们干脆直接去公园亲热算了。出租车！出租车！
Joey: Hey, hey, look at that talent.
你看那妞儿。
Chandler: Just practicing. You're good. Carry on. Wait, wait, wait!
只是在练习，你很棒，继续开吧。-等等，等等我们。
Girl 1 on Bus: Hey, you. He's just adorable.
喂，你好。他好可爱哦。
Chandler: Oh, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
告诉他，好不好？他觉得他脸色太红润了。
Girl 2 on bus: So what are you guys out doing today?
你们今天出来约会做什么？
Joey: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.
我们没有约会，我们只是帮我们异性恋朋友带孩子的异性恋男人，做一般直男应该做的事情。
Chandler: You done? -Joey: Yeah.
讲完了？-是的。
Girl1: Oh, there's our stop. -Joey: Get outta here. This is our stop.
哦，我们到站了。-不是吧？！我们也到站了。
Girl2: You guys live around here too?
你们也住在这附近啊？
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the sidewalk. -Chandler: You know it?
哦，是啊，是啊，我们住在那个人行道旁边。-你们知道吗？
Joey: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
对了，既然大家是邻居，我们聚一聚喝点东西，如何？
Girl 1: So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's? -Chandler: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
我们去马可咖啡厅，好吗？-好啊，他们很喜欢我们。
Girl 2: Where's your baby? -Chandler and Joey: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
你们的宝宝呢？-班！班！班！
Chandler: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord. -Both: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
或许他会听到并且自己拉铃（下车）。-停车！等一下……
Monica: Are you sure he didn't break it because it really hurts.
你肯定没有捏断？我真的很痛。