Well, then, you know, couldn't she've just copied my haircut?
那她不能，学我的发型就好了吗？
You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves.
我父母离婚的时候，他们还叫我去看心理医生呢…他们告诉我，所有的小孩都会怪自己。
But in your case it's actually kinda true.
就你而言，这真应该怪你呢。
Oh, that's him.
就是他。
Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.
该死，我邮购的爷爷怎么还没寄来。
Phoebe?
菲比？
Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman.
是，爱德曼先生。
Nice to see you.
幸会，幸会。
Hi, thanks for meeting me.
谢谢你来见我。
Oh, that's all right, although you did cut into my very busy day of sitting.
没问题，不过你的确打扰了我，忙碌昏坐的一天。
Um, do you wanna sit?
你要坐下来吗？
Oh, no no no, please, I spent most of midmorning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
不…不用了，我早上花了好多时间才站起来。我能为你做些什么，亲爱的？
Oh, ok. I don't know how to say this, but um, I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
我不知道该怎么说啦…当你太太的灵魂，离开她身体的时候…她转入了我的…身上。
You're saying, my wife is in you?
你说我太太在你身上？
Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
你用不着相信我啦…不过你能想出她或许，有什么未完成的心愿吗？有什么原因让她留下来吗？
Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
我不知道该说什么。我唯一能够想到的是…以前她常说她死之前，她想见识一切。
Everything?
一切？
Everything.
一切。
Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
那可真是不少。
Oh, wait, II remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
等一等…我想起来了，她还说，她想最后再跟我上一次床。
I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
对不起，我脑袋里有笑声。
Worth a shot, huh?
值得一试吧，对吧？
Look at this.
看这一张。
These are Halloween, three years ago.
这是三年前万圣节的照片。
My little Martini. I love your olive head. Oh, look, here's Barry. Oh, did he have to come straight from the office?
我的小马提尼。（万圣节装束）我喜欢你的橄榄头，你看，这是贝瑞。他直接从诊所过来吗？
No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. Yeah, he thought that was really funny.
不，那是他的变装。他是个牙齿矫正师，但他打扮成一般的牙医。是的，他以为那很搞笑。
Um, you guys, remember when I said before, uh, "thank you, but I don't really need your help"?
各位，记得我以前说，谢了，我不需要你们帮忙？
Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
事实上，我想你说的是…“别乱碰，离我的厨房远一点”。
Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.
真的？奇怪，不过…我一切都计划得很好，我计划计划又计划。但好像我没有计划出，足够的时间来完成我的计划。
Hey, Mon, you want some help?
莫妮卡，需要帮忙吗？
If you want.
如果你想的话。
Hey. Hey. Hey.
嗨。嗨。
What a day. Oh, I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
好长的一天！我带这位老太太到处去逛。我们去了现代美术馆，洛克菲勒中心…自由女神像。
She's still with you?
她还跟着你啊？
Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. Oh, I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. Oh, such a pretty face.
对呀，我猜这位老太太，还没见过一切呢。我马上回来，她必须再去一趟厕所。你的脸好美！
Oh, this is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
这好好玩，就只有我们女生。知道我们该做什么吗？谁有大麻？
God! Oh, did my mother just ask if we had pot?
天啊！刚才我妈妈是问了我们有没有大麻吗？
All right, look, noone's smoking pot around all this food.
听着，不准在这堆食物旁边吸大麻。
That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
没关系。我从没抽过，只想试一试那，最近有什么新的爱爱姿势吗？
Oh! What's new in sex?
新的爱爱姿势？！
Oh, the only man I've ever been with is your father.
我只跟你老爸做过那件事而已。
I'm dicing, I'm dicing, I don't hear anything.
我切我切切切，我啥也没听到。
II mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
我不是在批评你爸爸，亲爱的，我只是在想…或许不只是那样而已。
Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you.
对不起，你知道吗？我没有办法跟你谈这件事。
All right, all right.
好啊…
I mean, God, you just come in here, you drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
你甚至还没告诉爸，就到我这里来丢这颗炸弹。你想要我的祝福吗？
No.
不。
You want me to talk you out of it? No.
想让我劝你别这样吗？不。
Then what? What do you want?
你到底要什么？
Well I guess I figured of all people you would understand.
我猜我以为，在所有人当中你最了解我。
Why on earth would I understand this?
为什么我应该要最了解你呢？
You didn't marry your Barry honey, but I married mine.
你没有嫁给你的贝瑞，但是我嫁了我的贝瑞。
Oh.
噢。
All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move!
好了，各位，我们来不及了，我们只剩下12小时又36分，快…
Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles.
莫妮卡，我觉得应该给你配上法西斯的德文字幕才对。
Joey, speed it up!
乔伊，快一点嘛！
I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
抱歉，是小香肠啦，它们不愿意进培根的小毯子啊。
Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
莫妮卡，怎么会这样呢？我以为你全部都计划好了。
Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?
你要我哭吗？那就是你要的吗？你要看到我哭吗？
Sir! No sir!
长官，不要，长官！
All right, you!
好了，你！
What? No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
不，我说过我不参与这件事。
All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do.
我知道你跟卡萝和苏珊有过节，我很同情你，真的。
But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs and create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
但是如果你不帮我，我会用一堆热狗…创造出一道，新的开胃菜叫“罗斯猪肉卷”。好，挖香瓜球！
Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
为什么我得切丁，他却可以挖香瓜球呢？
Hi. Hi.
嗨。嗨。
Hi. How's it going?
进行得怎么样？
It's going great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers. Yeah.
非常顺利，全按时间来。有我快乐的小帮手们。是啊。
That's fine, whatever.
很好啊。
What's the matter?
怎么了？
Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
没事。好吧，所有的事，我想我们婚礼要取消了。
What?
什么？
You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.
你还是会付我钱的吧？或是做不那么自私的事。
Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
卡萝，发生什么事了？
My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming.
我爸妈今天下午来电话，说他们不来了。
Oh my God.
天哪！
I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
我是说，我知道他们不赞成这件事…可是他们是我父母啊，他们应该把我嫁出去的。
Ok, I'm sorry.
抱歉。
And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and then she said we were not doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding.
然后我跟苏珊大吵了一架，因为我说或许应该取消婚礼。然后她说“这不是为了他们，这是为了我们”。“如果我不了解这个的话，或许我们真应该取消婚礼”。
I don't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办。
I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
不相信我要这么说，但我认为苏珊是对的。
You do?
真的？
Look, do you love her? And you don't have to be too emphatic about this.
你爱她吗？你不用说得太斩钉截铁。
'Course I do.
我当然爱她了。
Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them.
那就是了。如果你的父母无法接受的话，那就去他们的。
Look, I mean, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would've stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
听着，我是说，若我的父母不要我娶你的话…那绝对阻止不了我。这是你的婚礼，去做。
You're right. 'Course you're right.
说得对，当然你是对的。
So we're back on?
那我们继续吗？
We're back on.
我们继续吧。
You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! Can't believe I lost 2 minutes!
你们听到了，削啊！剁啊！切啊！真不敢相信，我停了两分钟。
It just seems so futile, you know? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
我真的觉得好白费心机。你看，这么多女人跟没有一样。我觉得自己像没了神力的超人，我有披风，但我飞不起来。
Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. The world is my lesbian wedding.
现在你应该知道我每天的感觉了吧，整个世界就是我的同性恋婚礼。
Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later.
奶油糖？有人要吃吗？好吧，待会儿你们会后悔的。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Any time.
随时为你效劳。
Ross.
罗斯。
You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love.
没有任何一件事…比两个人，因爱而结合使上帝更快乐。
Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
我们今日齐聚一堂…见证卡萝和苏珊神圣的婚礼。
Oh my God. Now I've seen everything! Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
老天！现在我见识了所有的事情了。她走了！她…她走了！她走了。去吧，快结婚吧，你们继续。
Would you look at them?
你看看她们？
Yeah, can't help but.
是啊，忍不住…
How's that pigintheblanket working out for you? Yeah, I wrapped those bad boys.
那道猪肉卷好不好吃啊？是我把这些熊孩子香肠卷起来的。
I miss Rose.
我想念露丝。
Oh, yeah?
是吗？
I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and I don't know, I just feel kind of alone.
我知道这有点怪怪的，但是她是我生活的一部分…我只是觉得有点孤单。
WoYou know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how about we go get you a drink?
我听到你刚说的话，我想你也该把露丝抛在脑后了，继续你的生活。我们去拿杯饮料如何？
Ok, so nice.
好的，你真好。
I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right?
我连搭讪的话都不用讲了，是不是？
Hey, mom, are you having fun?
妈，好玩吗？
Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet.
太好玩了，我刚才跟一个，好高大的女人跳舞。另外有三个女孩，在自助餐那边对我抛媚眼。
Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
我不是说这是我所要追求的…但是知道有选择好令人欣慰。
There's more alcohol, right?
还有酒，对吧？
How you doing?
你好吗？
Ok.
还好啦。
You did a good thing today.
你今天做了件好事。
Em.
嗯。
You wanna dance?
想跳舞吗？
No, that's fine.
不，算了。
Come on. I'll let you lead.
来嘛，我让你带舞。
Ok.
好。
All right look. Penis schmenis. Ok? We're all people.
谁在乎有没有小丁丁这回事呢，我们都是人。
Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
你们想，我们之中哪一个会先结婚？
Uh Mon, I was married.
莫妮卡，我已经结过婚了。
Yeah, me too, technically.
我也是，理论上来说。
I had a wedding.
我有过婚礼。
All right, just trying to start an interesting discussion.
好啊，只是想开始个有趣的讨论。
I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married?
我想到了，哪一个会最晚结婚？
Isn'tisn't Ben in this?
你们说小班算不算？
Oh yeah, absolutely. 'Course he's in.
算算，当然算了...（大家这么说是为了让钱德勒有台阶下）