Hi, everybody. It's me, Ellen.

嗨 大家好 是我 艾伦

Just like most people on TV, I'm coming to you from my house again,

像电视上的很多人一样 我是在家里给大家录节目

which means I have taken my second shower in three weeks.

也就是说我洗了三周以来的第二个澡

I'm doing the show with no makeup.

我没化妆

I mean, obviously, my eyebrows are tattooed on from the '90s, but otherwise, sans makeup.

当然了 上世纪90年代我就纹了眉 除此之外 没有化妆

Usually I start my show by asking the audience to have a seat, but I don't care what you do.

通常我会在节目开始请大家坐下 不过我不在乎你们坐不坐

You can sit. You can stand. Doesn't really matter.

你们可以坐 可以站 无所谓

I can't see you any way, which is probably good, because I know some of you are not wearing pants.

我看不到大家 也许这样比较好 我知道有些人连裤子都没穿

I know it. Like I said, I'm filming here at my house.

我知道 就像我说的 我是在家录节目

We call this room the "sitting room." Actually, I call every room in the house our "sitting room."

我们把这个房间叫作“客厅” 其实 我家的每个房间都叫“客厅”

We used to have a kitchen, and now we call it "a sitting room with a fridge."

以前有个厨房 现在我把它叫作“带有冰箱的客厅”

So I wanted to keep making the show because I miss making people laugh, and I want to take your mind off things.

我想继续录节目 我很想念能让大家开怀大笑的感觉 我想让大家放松一点

I don't know if you're laughing. I'm hoping you are.

不知道大家会不会笑 希望你们会笑

Or just-- I just hope I'm making you, you know, forget about stuff.

或者 我让大家暂时忘记了 某些东西

This isn't about politics, and I know it's bad out there, but I hope this is a distraction for you.

这与政治无关 我知道现在情况很糟 希望我的节目能让大家分一下心

Just like you, I'm trying to find different ways to pass the time.

跟你们一样 我也在想各种办法打发时间

I cut my own bangs. Well, not my bangs. Portia's bangs.

我剪了自己的刘海儿 不是我的 是波西亚的刘海儿

She was napping. I can't wait to see what she thinks when she wakes up.

趁她睡觉的时候 我等不及看她醒来是啥反应

You like that, Andy? Yeah, I liked that. It made me laugh.

你喜欢这个 安迪？ 对 我喜欢 你笑了

I don't see you. I can't see, again, into the room, but it's funny.

我看不到你 我看不见屋子内是啥情况 不过很有意思

Yeah, there he is. He's walking around.

嗯 他在那儿 走来走去

My staff is "working from home."

我的员工们“在家办公”

Working from home is glug, glug, glug.

在家办公就是呵呵呵

But my producer Andy is here to help me.

不过我的制片人安迪在这儿帮我

He's just wandering around.

他四处闲逛

You can hear me, right? I hear you.

你能听到 对吧？能

OK. I do not see you. That's OK.

好 我看不见你 没关系

You're not supposed to see me. I know, the windows are tinted.

你就是应该看不到我的 我知道 窗户着色了

You can't see in. OK. OK.

你看不到里面 好 好

While you're out there, if you would do me a favor.

你在外面的时候 能不能帮我个忙

The windows could need some good cleaning.

窗户可能需要好好清洗一下

So I put a squeegee out there behind the tree.

所以我在树后面放了个橡皮刮水刷

If you would just get the squeegee and-- Where?

你能不能用那个橡皮刮水刷 在哪儿？

It's right behind the tree where you are.

就在你旁边那棵树后面

You You were earlier. The red bucket?

你 你 红色水桶吗？

Yeah. There's water in it and a squeegee.

对 里面有水 还有水刷

I don't know how to do this ..

我不知道怎么弄啊

That was supposed to be done, and then I had to-- nobody can be here.

本来应该已经清理完的 然后我得 没人能来这儿

So if you can do it. Oh, God. I'm sure you know how to do it.

所以要是你能做的话 哦 天 我相信你肯定知道怎么用

I have no-- I've done this with my car window. OK. Well.

我用这个洗过车窗 好 嗯

All right. All right. While he does that, I'll continue with the show.

好 好 你清理的时候 我继续录节目

These shows are going to be a little bit different.

这些节目会不大一样

They'll be a little less polished. Who am I kidding?

不那么精致 我在说什么呢？

You may not even notice. You've all been drinking since noon.

你们可能根本就注意不到 从中午开始你们都开始喝酒了

All right. Let's say hi to my friend, tWitch. tWitch, Hi. Hi. What's up, Ellen?

好 有请我的朋友 推奇 推奇 嗨 嗨 还好吗 艾伦？

What's up, tWitch? Oh, you know. Just, you know.

怎么样啊 推奇？哦 你懂的 就是

We're here. We're in here, and by "here," the house.

我们在这儿 “这儿”指的是家里

What have you done so far today? Oh, man.

你今天都干了啥？哦天

Woke up, you know. Fixed a few bottles.

醒来 装了几个瓶子

Made Maddox some waffles. It's exciting.

给Maddox做了点华夫饼 挺激动的

Yeah. All right. Well, you know what you should try doing?

嗯 好 你知道你应该尝试什么吗？

I suggest cutting Allison's bangs when she's asleep.

我建议你趁Allison睡着的时候给她剪刘海儿

Wow. You know, I would like to continue to enjoy this time together, so, not.

哇哦 我还是更想跟她好好待在一起 所以 算了吧

She can cut mine. All right. It was just a thought.

她可以剪我的 好 就是个提议而已

OK, here's another idea. Maybe you should dance.

好 我还有个想法 也许你应该跳舞

I hear you now. I'm down. I'm down for that. All right.

我听到了 来吧 我来跳 好

OK. OK I danced with you, tWitch. Hey, tWitch.

好 好 我跟你一起跳了 推奇 嘿 推奇

Oh!

哦