There are so many things right now that are closed.

现在很多地方都关了

Talkies, speakeasies, soda fountains-- I'm thinking of prohibition.

有声电影 非法经营的酒吧 冷饮小卖部 我想的都是禁止经营的地方

Anyway, you can't get a haircut as "tWitch" knows.

总之 推奇知道大家现在理不了发

He's turning into Rumpelstiltskin over there.

他都要变成个侏儒怪了

He's got a beard. I can't wait to see how long this thing gets.

他留了胡子 我真想看看能长多长

But the hair salons are closed. Barber shops are closed.

不过发廊都关了 理发店也关了

People are going crazy.

大家都要被逼疯了

So a lot of people, a lot of my friends are worried about coloring their hair.

所以很多人 很多朋友都在担心染发的事儿

Does Allison color her hair, "tWitch"? Yeah, she does.

Allison染发吗 推奇？嗯 她染

But like I say, it's like maybe what? Twice a year or something like that?

不过我说过 大概一年两次吧？

Yeah. Twice a year? She's not being honest with you.

嗯 一年两次？她肯定没说实话

All right, no, there's no way But anyway, there are a lot of people.

好 不可能 不过 有很多人

My roots are growing in. Everyone knows.

我的发根长出来了 大家都知道

They saw when I buzzed my hair off that my hair is darker than this.

我把头发剪完的时候他们都看到了 我原本的发色比现在深

So everyone's panicking.

大家都慌了

My hairdresser sent me a package but just gloves, and bleach, and potions, and stuff.

我的理发师给我发了个包裹 里面有手套 漂白剂 药水之类的

I don't know how to do that.

我不知道怎么染

So everyone's just going to watch my hair grow out because I don't know how to color my own hair.

所以大家都要看着我的头发长出来了 因为我不知道怎么染色

But everyone is flipping out.

不过大家都要疯了

But people are trying to cut their own hair at home.

人们都自己在家试着剪头发

If you're thinking about doing this, I'm going to show you some photos that you should see first.

如果你想给自己剪头发 我先给你们看一些照片

These are people that cut their own hair.

这些人给自己剪了头发

Here's a picture. Maybe we can see this.

这儿有张照片 我们可以看看

This is Josh. Now to be fair, we didn't have a before photo, but I doubt it was worse than that.

这是Josh 公平地说 我们没有他剪之前的照片做对比 不过应该不会比现在还丑吧

All right, here's Daniel. There's Daniel.

好 这是Daniel Daniel

He cut his own hair. Now at that point isn't it better to just shave it all off?

他给自己剪了头发 既然都到这一步了 把头发全剃了不是更好吗？

Maybe he was on his way to doing that and then took a picture.

也许他是要把头发全剃的 只是停下来拍了张照片

But you've heard of a "bowl cut." That's like a salad plate cut.

大家听说过西瓜头 这个像是沙拉头

Here's Avery. Look at that. She's got a little bit of everything going on there.

这是Avery 看看 她头上东西还挺丰富的

She's got some bangs, some long hair, and she looks very happy with it.

有刘海儿 有长发 她看起来还非常满意呢

Or she's just in shock. Maybe she hasn't seen it yet.

也许她是惊讶 或许她还没看到自己的头发呢

Maybe that's just posing for picture but not seeing a mirror.

也许她只是拍了个照 还没照镜子

All right, Jennifer posted this photo of her boyfriend.

好 Jennifer晒了她男朋友的这张照片

Jennifer could have helped if she wasn't busy taking photos.

Jennifer要不是忙着拍照片 本来可以帮帮她男朋友的

Maybe she had a hiccup.

也许她是打嗝了

She all of a sudden hiccuped because he seems like he knows that, that happened.

突然间她打了个嗝 因为她男朋友好像知道发生了什么

And finally, here is Natalie-- posted this picture of her son.

最后 这是Natalie 发了张她儿子的照片

And he said that he wanted to match his dad's haircut.

他说他想跟爸爸有一样的发型

I hope he didn't get it right. Oh, God.

希望他没有理对吧 哦天

The buzzers are still on his hand.

理发器还在他手里呢

No, she's like, just keep going, I'll go get the camera.

她在想 继续推 我去拿相机

If you see a photo of someone who cut their own hair, send it to my house.

如果你看到了别人自己剪头发的照片 请寄到我家来

I can't leave here. Just drop it off in the mailbox.

我无法离开这儿 把照片放到邮箱里就好了

Or just slide it under the gate, but don't try to come in.

或者塞到门下面也行 但别想闯进来啊

Andy's out there, and he'll get you.

安迪可在呢 他会抓住你的

Usually this when one of my producers tells me it's time to go to break.

通常这时候 我的制片人会让我休息一下

Andy, should we go to break?

安迪 我们应该休息了吗？

Go to break, Ellen. OK. Sounds good. Thank you.

休息吧 艾伦 好 很好 谢谢

It's weird without applause and laughter.

没有掌声和笑声感觉好奇怪

It's hard to tell if the stuff you're doing's funny. It's all really funny.

也不知道你说的东西好不好笑 都很好笑的

OK. All right, everybody go get a glass of water or whatever and do whatever you need to do.

好 好 大家都去喝杯水 做点自己想做的事吧

And we'll be back because we're just here.

马上回来 我们就在这儿呢

We have nowhere to go. Literally nowhere to go. Nowhere to go.

哪儿也去不了 真的是无处可去 无处可去