It's April. Can you believe it's April?

现在都四月了 大家敢相信吗？

Spring break is here. People are going crazy.

马上就要放春假了 大家都激动疯了

They're drunk-dancing on tables, getting piercings in places that only a doctor should see.

他们喝醉酒在桌子上跳舞 在只有医生才能看的部位穿孔

If you're getting a piercing where you can only see it with a handheld mirror,

如果你在只有拿镜子才能照到的部位穿孔

I think that you're drinking too much, I think.

那我想你可能是喝多了

People usually come back from spring break with two things-- a sunburn and a hangover.

春假过后 人们一般会带回来两样东西 晒黑和宿醉

And I think I know why.

我应该知道为啥

Because the swimsuits are getting smaller and the drinks are getting bigger.

因为泳衣越做越小 酒杯却越来越大

The way drinking has evolved is crazy.

饮酒的演变史真的太疯狂了

I want to show you what has happened.

我想给大家展示一下

In the beginning, people drank out of this, out of a goblet.

一开始的时候 人们都用这个东西喝酒 这种高脚杯

And you would drink one glass of wine.

而且只会喝一杯

And then you'd get a little buzzed and a little dizzy,

然后你会感觉晕乎乎的

but not from alcohol, from the lead poisoning, really.

但不是酒精的作用 而是因为铅中毒 真的

These would sometimes lead to wet corset contests.

有时候这玩意儿会引发湿胸衣竞赛

I-- I almost didn't do it. I didn't think it was good.

我 我差点就没说出口 我觉得这个梗不太好

I did it anyway. All right.

不过我还是说了 好

Then they invented this. This is a shot glass.

然后人们发明了这个 这是烈酒杯

And it was so you could get all the alcohol without any of that annoying juice.

这样你就可以直接喝入大量酒精 不用喝那些烦人的水了

And I like it because it's efficient.

我喜欢这个 因为它很高效

And it does the job of a regular-sized drink but in half the time.

只需要一半的时间 它就能达到普通酒量的效果

Now I'm buzzed. All right.

我晕了 好

And from there, things got completely out of control.

从那以后 情况就完全失控了

This-- you know, I thought this was a joke this morning when I saw it.

这个 今天早上我看到这个的时候 还以为是恶作剧呢

But apparently it's not a joke.

但很明显这不是恶作剧

How many people have seen this before?

有多少人见过这个？

I don't know where y'all go, but I don't have-- it's called a fishbowl cocktail.

不知道你们都去了些什么地儿 我是没有 这个叫鱼缸鸡尾酒

And you know the old saying, drink like a fish?

知道那句老话 大口喝酒吗？

Now you literally can drink like a fish.

现在你真的可以大口豪饮了

This has vodka, rum, tequila, pineapple juice, coconut juice, lemon.

这里面有伏特加 朗姆酒 龙舌兰 菠萝汁 椰子汁 柠檬汁

It's a mix of everything except good decisions. All right.

混合了万物 都是些不好的选择 好

Then someone invented this. And it's called a beer tower.

然后又有人发明了这个 它叫啤酒塔

And this is great if you want to throw a bachelor party for your friend and a going away party for your liver.

如果你想给朋友办单身派对或者“永别了你的肝”派对 这可是绝佳选择

And I know what you're thinking.

我知道大家在想啥

That's nice, but I don't drink beer.

很好 但我不喝啤酒

Well-- oh, god-- then there's this.

哦 天 然后又有了这个

So this is a-- this is a yardstick.

这是 这是个码尺

It has a strap. And you can walk around and show everyone your drinking problem.

上面有个带子 你可以背着它到处走 宣扬你嗜酒的毛病

You can just-- All right.

你可以 好

Then, finally, if you need more alcohol, this is a Bongzilla.

最后一个 如果你还喝不够 这个是Bongzilla

Nothing good has ever come after the sentence, want to try my Bongzilla?

只要听到人们说想试试我的Bongzilla吗 就绝对没什么好事

All right. I'm going to show you how this works.

好 我给大家演示一下它是怎么用的

I don't drink beer. So I'm going to pour my favorite tequila-- Casa Dragones tequila.

我不喝啤酒 所以我会倒上最爱的龙舌兰 龙宫龙舌兰酒

There it is. And so what happens?

这就是了 会怎样？

How much-- does that whole bottle fit in there? Mhm.

多少 能装一整瓶吗？嗯

Uh-huh. All right. And then--

嗯哼 好 然后

Zenor, I don't want to do it. You do it.

Zenor 我不想演示了 你来吧

Wow! It's amazing.

哇哦 厉害了