We have a big show.
我们有一个盛大的展示
You probably noticed, there's a little more security than normal here today.
你可能注意到了 今天会场会比往常更安全些
Hillary Clinton is here. I know you had to go through a lot.
毕竟 希拉里·克林顿在这里 我知道你们必须经过很多检查
You stood in line, someone checked your id.
站成一排 检查证件
It's like going to the bathroom in North Carolina.
就像在北卡罗莱纳州上厕所一样
Speaking of things that are hard
说到难以进入这回事
to get into, it is almost swimsuit season and that means getting into shape.
差不多到泳衣的季节了 这就意味着要保持身材了
And for most of us, that means that shape is a fetal position on the dressing room floor.
对我们大多数人来说 就好像肚子里怀着个孩子 站在更衣室里

But I wanna help you, I want you to be prepared for
不过我想帮你们 帮助你们做好准备
what swimsuits look like this year cuz they change all the time.
今年的泳衣是什么样的 毕竟年年都不一样
I ordered a few online, I'm going to have you all try them on one at a time.
我在网上订购了一些 现在就让你们一件件试穿下
No, I will show them to you and it seems like the bathing suits, really, they get smaller and
才不是 我会向你们展示这些泳衣 不过讲真 泳衣这东西真是越来越小
smaller, like this one piece right here.
越来越小了 就像我手上的这小布块
It's called the teeny weeny bikini, but here's the thing.
它叫微型比基尼 注意了
If you don't take the tag off, you have another inch of space that you can' t cover.
如果你留着这个标签 你就又能遮住一寸地方了
It's a one size fits nobody is what it is. I've actually flossed with more than this.
这是一款没人能穿的泳衣 说真的 我的牙线都比这大的多
Here's one with a whole lot more coverage.
这有一件覆盖面多得多的泳衣
This one right here is this, I believe the Native Americans refer to this as a dream catcher.
就是这边这一件 我记得 印第安人把它叫做追梦人
It is crocheted, so after you go into the water, it gives you that flattering wet yarn look.
这是用钩针编制的 所以在你穿上下水后 会很舒服 有种水润纱衣的感觉
Here's another one that I found.
我还找到了一件
This one is good if you think you're not attracting enough sharks in the water.
如果你觉得自己对海里鲨鱼的吸引力不够的话 这件绝对适用
I like this one because it proves that no matter what we look like on the outside, we all look the same inside.
我喜欢这一件 因为它证明了 无论我们外表怎样 里面都是一样的
Disgusting. And I did find a men's swimsuit that I would like to share with you.
真恶心哈 而且我还真找到了一件 想给你们看看的男士泳衣
Here it is, right here. Okay. So, nice right? But here's the back.
看这里 就在这儿 好的 看 漂亮吧 然而背后是这样的
It's not a speedo, it's a speed don't.
这不是Speedo的泳衣 这是完全没有速度的
It's like business in the front and party in the back.
感觉就像 正面是谈生意 背面是开趴踢
It's the mullet of bathing suits is what it is.
这是浴衣中的胭脂鱼吧 对 就是这样
Twitch, thanks for letting me borrow this, I'll get this back to you.
推奇 谢谢你把它借给我 放心 我会还给你的
This last one. I mentioned Hillary Clinton is here. Now she's very, very busy.
这是最后一件了 我之前说过希拉里·克林顿来了 而现在她非常 非常的忙
She's running for president.
她在忙着竞选总统
She probably doesn't have a lot of time to shop for a bathing suit, so I made one for her.
她大概没太多时间去买个泳衣 所以我为她做了一件
It's the first ever swimsuit pantsuit.
这是首件泳衣套装
You can wear it from vacation to nomination.
无论是度假 还是提名的时候 穿上都很合适
I hope you all find a good bathing suit and remember,
我希望你们都能找到适合自己的泳衣
if you wanna experience the water this summer without putting on a swimsuit,
别忘了 如果你想在这个夏天尝试下裸泳
go see Finding Dory in theaters June 17th, everybody.
就在6月17号的时候去电影院看'海底总动员'吧
Now let's celebrate being fully clothed with this dance.
现在让我们开始 穿好衣服跳舞吧