Happy Monday, everybody!

周一快乐啊 各位

I don't know why, but you feel like a Tuesday crowd to me.

不知道为啥 感觉你们像是周二的观众

And I'm not sure, but anyway-- who remembered to adjust their clocks for daylight savings?

我也不确定 不过 有谁记得把闹钟调成夏季作息？

And yet, you made it here on time. Isn't that interesting?

不过你们还是准时来了 是不是很有意思？

Who's going to wait five months until their clocks are right again?

有谁会再等五个月 直到闹钟恢复正常？

Yes, some clocks are easier than others. Are you all on Instagram?

有些人适应起来容易点 你们都玩Instagram吗？

I don't know why-- I know you are because I use my extra hour to go through your Instagram accounts.

不知道为啥 我知道你们玩儿 因为我闲暇时间会翻看你们的Instagram账户

And now I'm going to show all of your photos to my followers.

现在我要给大家看我粉丝的一些照片

And Skylana Roberts-- where is Skylana Roberts?

Skylana Roberts Skylana Roberts在哪里

Hello! Hey! Look at that face. Well you posted it!

你好啊 嘿 看那表情 是你自愿晒出来的啊

I mean, why are you-- you don't even know what I'm going to show, but you're just already scared?

那你为啥还 你都不知道我会给大家看什么 你就害怕了？

All right. Well stand up and be proud of yourself. OK. Let's see.

好 请起立 为自己感到骄傲吧 好 我们看看

All right. And you say, when you wanna watch dem bitches gamble but you gotta drink.

好 你说的是 当你想看坏女人赌博但又想喝饮料的时候

All right, Explain yourself. First of all, it's a good thing we have cup holders here.

好 替自己开脱一下 首先 我们有杯托 这是件好事儿

I didn't even-- I just built them into the chairs not thinking anyone would do that.

没想到会有人这么做 我还给每个座位安了杯托

But tell me about that. Vegas. It was Vegas. That's it.

跟我说说 维加斯 是在维加斯 没了

All right. Also, not to be nitpicky, but it's when you watch dem bitches gamble--

好 不是我挑事儿 而是你看坏女人赌博的时候

comma-- you gotta drink. The comma should have been-- that's OK. All right.

逗号 还得喝饮料 逗号应该 无所谓了 好

Let's see-- the next person is Jane Bama Gunza.

我们来看 下一个是Jane Bama Gunza

Bama Gunza. Right here! Hi! Hi! Hi, tell me-- stand up please-- OK.

Bama Gunza 这里 嗨 嗨 嗨 请站起来 好

What is your last name? Tamabungza. That's right. That's it.

你的姓是什么？Tamabungza 对

That's exactly right. OK. So you posted something of your father.

这就对了 好 你晒了关于你父亲的一些东西

Oh, OK. Yeah. Let's see what's going on here. Let's talk about this.

哦 好 对 我们来看看啥情况 聊一下

That's my best friend. Yeah. What's happening?

那是我最好的朋友 嗯 什么情况？

We were having an ice cream party. Read the caption!

我们在参加冰淇淋派对 读标题

I've had an ice cream party before-- never anything that resembles that.

我以前参加过冰淇淋派对 从来没出现过这种情况

That's it? That's all? Just an ice cream party.

就这样？没了？只是个冰淇淋派对

That's it, yeah. Did he forget where his mouth was? He did. He did.

没了 对 他是忘记自己嘴长哪里了吗？是的 是的

Yeah, it was #likefatherlikedaughter or something like that?

对 是#喜欢爸爸还是女儿的桥段吗？

That's how you eat as well? Absolutely. All right.

你也是这么吃的？是的 好

When I get to know my people in my audience, it's really-- Jerry Plummer. Where is Jerry Plummer?

我了解自己的观众以后 真的——Jerry Plummer Jerry Plummer在哪里？

That was good. You stood up reluctantly yet with pride.

很好啊 你带着骄傲不情愿地站了起来

I like it. Yes. So hi, Jerry. Hi. How you doing?

我喜欢 嗯 嘿 Jerry 嗨 你好吗？

I'm good. Good. Good to see you. I'm a little afraid. Really?

很好 好 很高兴认识你 我有点怕 是吗？

Let's take a look. Let's see what you posted.

我们来看一下 看你发了什么

It say, glamor shot or porn star-- you decide.

说的是 魅力照还是色情明星——任你定义

I hope it was a glamor shot. That's what I hope.

我希望是魅力照 希望这样

OK. Who is this with you? My friend, Rebecca Greever.

好 跟你一起的是谁 我朋友 Rebecca Greever

Is Rebecca going to be happy that that's posted? No. No.

你把这发出去 Rebecca没意见吗？有意见 有意见

I post it on Throwback Thursday, and she always makes comments like, I'm never going to live this photo down.

我把它发在温故周四上 她经常评论说 我绝对不会让这张照片成为我的诟病的

Right. And now look where it is.

嗯 现在看看它在哪儿

Yeah. Rebecca! Rebecca, look! Look at you, Rebecca!

是啊 Rebecca Rebecca 快看啊！看看你自己 Rebecca！

It's wonderful. It's a wonderful picture.

太好了 照片很棒

Thank you for posting it. Thank you for being here.

谢谢你晒了它 谢谢你来看节目