Hey, I have to tell you something first.

嘿 我得跟大家说个事儿

So I'm going to talk about phones.

我要聊聊手机

But I'm not get-- you're not getting a phone. So don't like--

不过我不会 你们没有手机可拿 所以别

Oh, she's talking about phones. We're going to get a phone.

哦 她要聊手机 我们每个人都能获得手机了

You're not getting a phone.

没有手机送你们

But Apple announced the new iPhone at their big keynote event yesterday.

不过苹果在昨天的大型主题活动中发布了新款手机

Their keynote event is kind of like a TED talk,

他们的主题活动有点像TED演讲

but instead of teaching you how to better yourself, they teach you how to spend $1,000.

只不过不是告诉你如何提升自己 而是教给你怎么花掉1000美元

And instead of TED, it's Tim. You know Tim Cook, right?

而且不是TED 而是Tim 大家知道Tim Cook吧？

Tim Cook's Siri's husband. I think so. I don't know.

Tim Cook是Siri的老公 应该是吧 我也不知道

Yesterday Apple announced their iPhone 11.

昨天苹果发布了苹果11

And obviously, we all know how to count.

很明显 我们都知道怎么数数

It's 7, 8, X, 11. It goes like that.

是7 8 X 11 就是这么数的

So you can either run out and buy it, or you can tape an iPhone 5 and an iPhone 6 together and make an 11.

所以你要么掏光家底买一个 要么可以把苹果5和苹果6粘起来 就成了个苹果11了

That's what I'm going to do.

反正我打算这么做

Plus it has improved battery and now lasts four hours longer, like the Today Show.

此外 它还改进了电池 现在的续航时间多了四小时 就像《今日秀》一样

So they announced--

他们声称

It's long. The Today Show is really creeping into my hour. It's like--

太长了 《今日秀》简直是在偷我的时间 就像

The iPhone 11 Pro-- that's what they're calling it. It has three cameras.

苹果11 Pro 这就是它的名字 有三个相机

And now Kim Kardashian never is going to leave the house.

这下金·卡戴珊可再也不愿意出门了

It's hardly even a phone anymore. Now it's more of a camera.

这都不像个手机了 更像是相机

I don't even know if you can make calls on it.

都不知道还能不能用它打电话

It's really just a phone-- it's just a camera.

真的就是个手机 相机而已

The most popular new feature of the iPhone 11 has a wide angle lens to take wider photos, and it can take slow motion selfies.

苹果11最受欢迎的新特点是它有广角镜头 可以拍出更宽的照片 还能拍慢镜头的自拍

So just like us, the phones will be now wider and slower.

就跟人类一样 手机也变得又宽又慢（又胖又慢）了

We love when you insult us, Ellen. Yes, we're all wider and slower.

艾伦 我们喜欢你侮辱我们的时候 没错 我们都又胖又慢了

The new phone sounds great, but there are still some other changes I'd like to see.

新手机听起来还不错 但我还想看到其他的更新

I want to see like when you have those three dots and then they disappear,

比如 本来显示的是三个点 然后又消失了

I want them to show you what the person was going to say. That's what I want.

我想让手机告诉我那个人原本想说什么 这就是我想要的

Because you know, you're like, no, they changed their mind, and they're--

因为你肯定会想 不 他们改变想法了 他们