(单词翻译:单击)
Welcome back to the Trump News Network, The only news network dedicated to professionalism, integrity.
欢迎回到小特新闻电台，这是唯一一家专业，公正，
and level-headed journalism. Which brings us to tonight's top story.
头脑清静的新闻电台，来看看今天的头条新闻。
Lebron James is a big stupid idiot and I hate him.
勒布朗·詹姆斯是个傻帽，我讨厌他。
I tweeted about him this weekend. and everyone's rushing to Lebron's defense
我周末在推特上提到了他，所有人都来维护勒布朗，
because he's "a great basketball player" who "builds schools for children, and "isn't under investigation for treason".
因为他是最伟大的篮球运动员，他为儿童建学校，他没有因叛国罪接受调查。
Whatever, he's a good basketball player. If he's a good one, then I'm a good basketball player, too.
无论如何，他是一名优秀的篮球运动员，如果他是，那么我也应该是。
I mean, I'm great at dribbling. I'm great at free throws, and blocking.
我非常擅长带球，擅长发球和阻挡。
I'm very good at blocking. I'm very good at that. A lot of people don't know that.
我非常擅长阻挡，非常擅长，许多人不知道。
Now, everyone thinks I'm crazy for attacking Lebron, but it's actually a genius move, folks.
所有人都认为我攻击勒布朗是疯了，其实这是惊人之举。
Midterms are coming, and Ohio is a swing state.
中期选举快要来了，俄亥俄是摇摆州。
We need Ohio, and guess who hates Lebron more than anyone right now. That's right, the Ohionese.
我们需要俄亥俄，你知道现在谁最恨勒布朗吗？当然是俄亥俄人。
Which is why I'm announcing that the new national thing is the buckeye.
这就是我为什么说如今的国宝是娑罗子。
I don't know what it is. Is it a nut, is it a fruit, It looks like a candy bar.
我不知道这是什么，是坚果吗，是水果吗，看上去是糖果棒。
Also, my running mate in 2020 will be the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame. Sorry, Mike Pence.
还有，我2020年的竞选搭档是摇滚名人堂，对不起麦克·彭斯。
Speaking of Mikes, I also tweeted that I prefer Michael Jordan to Lebron.
说到麦克斯，我还推特到我喜欢麦克尔·乔丹，而不是勒布朗。
I mean, it's no contest. Michael Jordan is the world's all-time greatest underwear salesman.
我是说根本没法比，麦克尔·乔丹是世界最著名的内裤销售员。
Which reminds me, this portion of TNN is brought to you by Hanes.
这让我想起了，这一部分的小特电台将由哈尼斯品牌播报。
Hanes, now available in small, medium, large, and presidential.
哈尼斯内裤有小号，中号和大号，还有总统号。
Anyway, back to my tweet. I also attacked Don Lemon.
无论如何，回到我的推特，我还攻击了唐·莱蒙。
I don't like Don lemon. I don't even like lemons, even though 90% of the time it looks like I'm sucking on one.
我不喜欢唐·莱蒙，我甚至不喜欢柠檬，尽管90%的时间我都看上去是在嘬柠檬。
Speaking of idiots named Don who are making my life hard,
说到那些让我痛苦的，姓唐的那些傻瓜，
Don Junior met with the Kremlin informant at Trump Tower, but the Russia investigation is a total hoax.
小唐在小特大厦会见了克林姆林宫情报员，但俄罗斯调查完全是骗局。
Total hoax. It's the biggest hoax since we found out IHOP didn't really change its name to IHOB.
全是骗局，自从我们发现IHOP没有把名字改成IHOP以后，这是最大的骗局。
Be careful, IHOP. Publicity stunts are fun, but sometimes they can go a little too far.
小心点IHOP，作秀很有趣，但有时还会产生副作用。
Anyway, now I'm worried Robert Mueller has his eyes on Don Junior.
无论如何，我担心罗伯特·米勒会将注意力转向小唐。
Mueller, we've had our differences, but please go easy on Junior. Just look at him.
我和米勒有区别，请对小唐好点，来看看他。
This is not the face of a man that would do well in prison.
你看他的脸，他在监狱怎么能够好受。
He once got beaten up at a Brooks Brothers. Sad. Leave him alone. It's sad.
他曾在布克兄弟服装店被揍了一顿，悲伤，理他远点吧，悲伤。
Where am I? Which camera am I going to? I do know, I know my cameras.
我在哪？我要冲哪个摄像头，我知道，我知道摄像头。
Which camera do I go to? I'm very familiar with cameras. I've been in front of cameras for many years.
我冲着哪个？我非常熟悉摄像头，我在摄像头前许多年了。
That one there? Interesting... No, over here? I knew you were there, hi.
这个吗？有趣，不是这个，我知道你在那。
In other news, everyone is upset because I keep calling the media the enemy of the people,
其它新闻，我称媒体为人民的敌人，所有人感到不安。
but it's not personal. I've called all sorts of things enemy of the people.
但这不是个人恩怨，我把所有事情都当作人民的敌人。
For example, kale is an enemy of the people.
比如，羽衣甘蓝就是人民的敌人。
Also, books without pictures are an enemy of the people.
没有图片的图书也是人民的敌人。
And, of course, people who post about how they're leaving Facebook with a long Facebook post
当然，那些发帖说要离开脸书的人，他们的帖子非常长，
are an enemy of the people. No one cares, Mackenzie.
他们也是人民的敌人，没人在乎，麦肯齐氏。
This is Trump News Network. We'll be right back after this commercial break.
这就是小特新闻电台，广告回来继续精彩。
