(单词翻译:单击)
Well, let's get some news. The big story is that last night President Trump lashed out at Iran on Twitter.
来看看新闻，昨晚曝大新闻，小特在推特上斥责伊朗。
And some people are afraid that he might start World War III.
许多人害怕第三次世界大战即将开始。
In response, Americans were like, Come on, man, at least wait until Shark Week is over. I mean go...
对此，美国人回应道别这样兄弟，至少要等到《鲨鱼周》结束吧，嗯...
Come on. One more week. I guess, yeah, around midnight last night, Trump sent this tweet.
还有一周，昨晚午夜十分，小特发了一条推特。
This is real. He wrote, To Iranian President Rouhani. Never, ever threaten the United States again or you will suffer consequences,
这是真的，他写道：写给伊朗总统鲁哈尼，不要再威胁美国了，否则你将自食其果，
the likes of which few throughout history have ever suffered before.
你们将面临前所未有的后果。
We are no longer a country that will stand for your demented words of violence and death. Be cautious!
我们不再是那个忍受暴力屠杀等这些疯言疯语的国家了，小心点！
Even your uncle on Facebook was like, That's a lot of all-caps. I mean that's...That's a lot of all-caps.
就连脸书上的叔叔都要说，这么多大写啊，这也太多了。
But actually, Trump didn't stop after that one tweet. He also tweeted at another world leader.
其实，小特写完这一条后没有住手，他给另外一名领导人也写了一个。
Check out what he said to Vladimir Putin. Never, ever forget to text me back again
来看看他对普京是怎么说的，千万要回我的短信，
or you will suffer consequences likes of which few throughout history have ever suffered before.
否则你将付出惨痛代价，你将面临前所未有的后果。
We are no longer a country that will let those three little still-typing dots stay there for hours. Be cautious!
我们不再是那个允许“小点点”存在几个小时的国家了，小心点。
Some more news here. Thanks to Trump's trade policies, the U.S. now has a giant stockpile of meat.
来看看其它新闻，感谢小特的贸易政策，美国现在囤积了许多肉食产品。
On the bright side, giant stockpile of meat is also a great nickname for Tinder.
往好了说，这些肉食产品也是Tinder应用的外号。
As I said earlier, Shark Week is officially here. Last night, they aired a special where Shaquille O'Neal
我之前说了，《鲨鱼周》来了，昨晚他们播出了一档特别节目，沙奎尔·奥尼尔
tried to overcome his fear of sharks by getting into a cage and swimming in shark-infested waters.
尝试克服对鲨鱼的恐惧，进入笼子，这片海域是鲨鱼活动区域。
At one point, a small shark got into his cage. Watch what happened.
有一条小鲨鱼游进了笼子，来看看。
A shark is in that cage with him. There's a shark in the cage! We've got to get him out!
鲨鱼进笼子里了，鲨鱼进笼子里了，我们要把它弄出来。
I survived a shark attack you bitches！He said, Come on.
我逃过了鲨鱼攻击，你个蠢货，老天。
Unbelievable. Don't worry. If a shark bit off Shaq's legs, he'd still be six feet tall. So it's fine.
难以置信，不要担心，如果鲨鱼真的咬了他的腿，他依然是六英尺高，不要担心。
Hey, check this out. Mason Ramsey, the Walmart yodeling boy,
来听听这个，梅森·拉姆齐，那个在沃尔玛唱约德尔的男孩，
just released an album and even has a new single entitled Famous. Here's a little preview.
他不久前出了一首单曲，名叫《著名》，来听听如何。
If I'm gonna be famous for something. I want to be famous for loving you.
如果我真的要出名，我要因为爱你而出名。
Pretty good. And if you like that, you can see him live on tour at CostCo, Sam's Club, and Target. Walking down the aisles.
不错，如果你喜欢这首歌，你可以在好市多、山姆会员商店以及塔吉特看到他的现场表演，走下去。
Listen to this. Just came out that the next season of American Horror Story will be called American Horror Story Apocalypse.
来听听这个，刚听说下一季的《美国恐怖故事》将更名《美国恐怖故事：启示录》。
But the producers also considered some other names for the new season that are even scarier.
但制作方还考虑了其他名字，而且更加恐怖。
I'll show you what I mean. For instance, they almost went with American Horror Story: The Line at the Whole Foods.
我给你举个例子，比如说他们还想说叫：《美国恐怖故事：全食超市的长队》。
Wow. Next is American Horror Story: Your Phone's At 5% And Nobody At Work Has A Charger You Can Borrow.
哦哦，下一个是《美国恐怖故事：电话快没电了，但没法在办公室借到能充电的充电器》。
Finally, there is American Horror Story: You Got Antsy, Switched Lanes And Now The Other Lane Is Moving, But You're Stuck. Why?! Ah, gosh!
最后一条，《美国恐怖故事：你感到不安，转换了车道，另外一条也在动，你被卡住了》，为什么？老天。
And I saw that the trailer just came out for D.C.'s new Aquaman movie. Did you see that?
DC漫画出品的《海王》预告片上映了，你们看了吗？
A lot of people are excited about it. I got to be honest. Not so sure about the direction they've chosen for the film. Check it out.
许多人兴奋不已，说实话，真是不清楚这部影片的走向，来看看。
With the world's most vital resources nowhere to be seen... They don't have water. That's okay.
你将在这里看到重量级资源，他们没水，但没关系。
He refuses to give up the cause. No, that's okay. And he takes matters into his own two hands.
他拒绝放弃自己的奋斗目标，这里有，他承担下了所有事情。
Aquaman: Why Does He Drink Like That?!
《海王》：他为什么这样喝水？
Come on. Come on. Finally, I heard that tomorrow is national tequila day.
拜托啊，听说明天是全国龙舌兰酒日。
While the day after that is national Janice from HR wants to see you in her office day.
第二天就是全国人力部珍妮丝要你去她办公室日。
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the Roots.
今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
