Of course, I love kids also. I just don't want any of my own.

当然 我也很喜欢孩子 我就是不想自己生

And I'm going to show you why in a segment I call, "Why I Don't Have Kids."

在这个“我为什么没有孩子”的环节里 我会告诉大家为什么

All right, this is from Allie from Aurora, Colorado.

好 这是来自科罗拉多 奥罗拉的

This is what happens when you leave a three-year-old alone with a litter box.

把三岁小孩和垃圾桶单独留在家里会就发生这种事

OK. Allie, were you really surprised that that happened?

好 艾莉 你真的很惊讶吗？

What do you expect? I'm going to leave my son with this tiny sandbox.

你以为会怎样？我把儿子跟沙箱放在一起

And I'm sure everything will be fine.

肯定不会有啥事的

You know, all I know is a cat would never do that.

我知道猫就不会这么干

And that's why I have cats and not a kid. Oh.

所以我宁愿养猫也不要孩子 哦

Ashley from Rosemount, Minnesota-- I heard my daughter screaming my name,

明尼苏达州罗斯蒙特的艾希莉 我听见女儿尖叫着喊我

so I went to see what was happening.

就去看发生了什么

This is where her dad had put her.

她爸爸把她放这里了

Let me remind you, the name of the segment is, "Why I Don't Have Kids," not, "Why You Shouldn't Have Kids."

提醒一下 这一部分叫做“我为什么没有孩子” 不是 “你为什么不应该有孩子”

I mean, come on. I don't know a lot about kids.

拜托 我不太了解孩子

But I know if you're going to put them in a freezer, put some pants on them. It's cold.

可是我知道 要把他们放到冰箱里 起码给人家穿条裤子啊 很冷的

It's chilly in there. Brianna from Ocean Springs, Mississippi-- I'm a wedding photographer,

冻死人了 密西西比海泉市的布莉安娜 我是婚礼摄影师

so I don't usually take photos of my kids.

所以我一般不给自己的孩子照照片

When I do, it always ends up looking like this.

每次照的时候 都是这种后果

Yeah. Wow. But, I mean, really. Right?

嗯 哇 不过 真的呀 对吧？

I mean, that's amazing. Look at that milk.

太棒了 看那牛奶

You've taken something terrible, like children, and made it beautiful.

你照的是表现不怪的孩子 却把他们照的好好看

Stacy from Southgate, Michigan-- here's my daughter Michaela enjoying some chocolate pudding.

密歇根索斯盖特的史黛西 这是我女儿米凯拉享用巧克力布丁的样子

You know, I don't know if I would use the word "enjoying."

我都不知道是不是该用“享用”这个词

Yeah. That's the same look I get after enjoying some tequila.

嗯 我喝完龙舌兰酒之后也是那种表情

Thanks for sending those in.

谢谢你们发照片来

If your kids do something you think I should see, please send it to me.

如果你的孩子做了我该看的事 请把照片发来