I don't want to alarm anybody, but we had an incident of an outbreak in the studio.
我不想吓到大家 不过咱们工作室出现了一种大爆发
There was a glitter outbreak. It was everywhere.
是闪光粉大爆发 到处都是
I don't want to name names, but it was Gwen Stefani.
我不想说是谁 不过是格温·史蒂芬妮
Here she is. Now, look.
这是她 看
She looks beautiful. She's beautiful, right?
很好看 很漂亮是吧
From a distance, she looked beautiful.
远看一枝花
Like a sparkly angel is what she looked like.
她看起来像是闪闪发光的天使
But seriously, and I'm not kidding.
但说真的 我没开玩笑

So there's a commercial break, and then we get ready for the next guest.
中间放广告休息的时候 我们要准备迎接下一位嘉宾
This is the footage of us cleaning up after she left.
这是她走以后我们打扫的视频
This is what had to happen.
跟你们说说我们是怎么打扫的
We had to vacuum, we had to wipe the chair down, we had to pick up.
我们用了吸尘器 得把椅子擦个遍 还得把地上的弄起来
There was glitter all over the place. The chair, the floor, all behind it.
到处都是闪光粉 椅子上 地上 掉的到处都是
I don't know how it got behind her, it just--
我不知道它们是怎么从她身上掉下来的
So look, and I know people like glitter.
我知道人们喜欢闪光粉
Obviously, there are people out there that like glitter.
很明显 有很多人喜欢闪光粉
I don't understand it. It gets everywhere.
我搞不懂 它会跑的哪儿都是
I've said it before, it has the word litter right in the name.
我之前就说过 这个单词本身就含有litter（垃圾）在里面
I don't want it on me. I don't want it near me.
我可不想沾上它们 不想靠近它
This time of year, they put glitter on everything.
今年 到处都有人们弄的闪光粉
I want to show you some products to try to avoid if you're like me, and you don't want glitter.
如果你跟我一样讨厌闪光粉 那就一定要避开我给你们看的这些产品
And because if you're in contact with someone who has glitter, then you now have glitter.
如果你跟身上有闪光粉的人打交道 那你就会沾上闪光粉
So I've come up with a safe way to show you what you should try to avoid.
所以我想了个好办法 帮助大家避开它
Please bring it out.
带上来吧
Dave, thank you so much. All right, what I have here--
戴夫 谢谢你 好 这些是
These are containment boxes, and they're what scientists use to handle infectious diseases.
这些盒子都是密封的 科学家就用它们来处理传染病
So this to me is just as serious. OK, this is wrapping paper.
我也是一样认真的 好 这是包装纸
I don't know if you can see this, but this right here is wrapping paper.
不知道大家能不能看到 不过这就是包装纸
Glitter, what could be worse? OK, when you wrap a present in this stuff, first of all,
闪光粉 还有什么比这更糟？好 如果你用这些东西来包装礼物 首先
you get it on your hands, right?
你手上会粘到 对吧
And then you got to lay it on the floor to wrap the gift.
然后你包礼物的时候它又会掉到地上
So now the floor has glitter on it.
那么地上就有闪光粉了
Then you got to touch the Scotch tape, the scissors, all the presents, they're ruined.
接着你还要用胶带 剪刀 所有礼物 都毁了
Then the person that you give it to has to take it to their house,
收到你礼物的人还得把它们带回家
and now they're messed up for life, their entire life.
这样他们的一生就毁了 一辈子啊
OK. So I can't even believe someone makes glitter wrapping paper.
好 我都不敢相信竟然有人生产闪光粉包装纸
Look at this. This is the next offender.
看 下一个入侵者
Glitter ornaments, glitter ornaments.
闪光粉装饰球 闪光粉装饰球
Now, on a tree-- and again, they're like Gwen Stefani.
要把它们挂在树上 它们跟格温·史蒂芬妮一样
From a distance, beautiful.
远看一枝花
But I walk in, and I see glitter ornaments,
但要是我一进门就看到闪光粉装饰球
I grab Portia's hand, we turn right around, and we leave.
我会抓起波西娅的手 转身就走
Second most dangerous decoration right behind asbestos snow, I believe.
这应该是继石棉雪之后第二危险的装饰品
All right, next we have the next offender.
好 下一个入侵者
And that is Christmas cards.
是圣诞节卡片
OK, this is a great way to say, happy holidays.
好 这可真是祝人节日快乐的好方法啊
Here's a mess. You clean it up now.
给你弄得一团糟 你自个儿打扫去吧
I always tell everybody, be kind to one another.
我经常告诉别人 要善待他人
One way to do that is not send glitter cards, because it's a surprise.
其中一种方法就是不要送闪光粉卡片 因为这是惊喜
You don't know until you open it.
只有打开了你才会知道
Oh, how sweet, the Johnson's sent me a card.
哦 真贴心啊 约翰逊家给我送了一张卡片
And then you open it up, ah, it's on my hands!
然后你打开它 啊 粘到我手上了
My life is ruined. Then--
我一生都完了
Then we have this right here. These are some difficult gloves.
然后是这个 这些手套真难戴
I don't know how the scientists do it. So this is a glitter sweater. Look at this.
不知道科学家是怎么用的
It's a glitter sweater. Someone is wearing a glitter sweater, they bump into you.
这是闪光粉毛衣 别人穿着闪光粉毛衣 不小心撞到你了
Now you're wearing a glitter sweater, too.
那你也会有一件闪光粉毛衣
Let me indicate what I'm talking about.
给大家看看我是啥意思
Here's someone with a nice black sweater.
这个人穿着一件很好看的黑色毛衣
They go out for the night and they're all dressed up.
他们晚上出去玩 精心打扮
They look in the mirror, oh, I look good.
他们看着镜子中的自己说 哦 我真好看
And then they're like, hey, how are you?
然后你过去打招呼 嘿 你好吗
I love you, I haven't seen you in a long time.
我爱你 好久没见到你了
Where have you been? God, you look so great.
你去哪儿了 天 你看起来真漂亮
And then you're like, oh my god, look at my sweater.
然后你就发现 天啊 看我的毛衣
By the way, I sent an intern out to buy these products,
顺便说下 我让一个实习生去买的这些产品
and I had to send them home early to shower to get the glitter off.
我还得早点把它们送回家去 把上面的闪光粉洗掉
What is that noise? Oh my god, the box is leaking.
这是什么声音 天啊 盒子泄露了
We have a glitter leak.
我们遇到了闪光粉泄露
Get this out of here! Get this out of here! We have a glitter leak! Get it out!
快把它拿走 快把它弄走 闪光粉泄露了 快弄走
Well, I--
额 我
Our prop department could only afford one of those fake hazmat suits.
我们道具组太穷了 只能弄到一套假的危险物质防护服
That's why it took so long to get it out of here.
所以花了半天才把它弄走