I've been in a great mood. I'm happy to see all of you.
我心情超好 看到大家很开心
I didn't think anything could bring me down, but then I saw this.
我觉得啥都不是事儿 然后我就看到了这个
Butt Glitter. Everything you need to know about sparkly statement trend. No, no, no, no, no, no.
屁屁闪光粉 任何你需要知道闪光粉流行趋势 不不不不
No, no. And then I have why, why would? I'm a positive person.
不不 然后我就在想为啥 为什么 我是个积极的人
I like to see the best in people and in society.
我喜欢看到人类和社会中的美好面
And then I see something like this, and then it shakes me to my core.
然后我就看到了这种鬼玩意儿 我的小心脏啊
Look at this. And this.
看这个 还有这个

How is this a thing? Right now kids are posting these pictures on Instagram. Then adults are gonna be doing it.
这怎么回事？现在孩子们都在往Instagram贴这些图片 接下来成年人也会效仿
Then we're gonna have glitter butt grandma.
再接下来我们就会看到屁屁闪光的老奶奶
And then, we're all going to hell.
然后 我们就都去屎吧
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I think glitter should be illegal. Glitter, it should be illegal.
我以前说过但我还要说一遍 闪光粉应该被定为非法 它应该是非法的
It never dies. And there's that surprise happy birthday, and you open it up and you're.
这玩意儿是斩草难除根 就像过生日的时候 你把它打开然后你就...
There was glitter on a card I got for my 40th birthday.
我40岁生日的时候有一张卡片上有闪光粉
I'm still finding it in my house. I have moved eight times.
到现在我家里都还有它们的影子 我可是搬过8次家了
And it still travels. I'm not sure who is in charge of glitter. I assume it's Cher, or a Cher impersonator.
它还是会阴魂不散地跟着你 我不知道谁负责掌管闪光粉 我想是雪儿 或者是一个叫雪儿的演员
It's shiny trash, is what it is. Shiny trash. It has the word litter right in it.
它就是会发光的垃圾 垃圾而已 会发光的垃圾 你看它本身就包含“litter（垃圾）”在里面
And then you put it on your butt?
你们竟然把它抹在屁屁上？
That's like putting ketchup on ice cream. Why ruin a perfectly good butt?
这跟在冰淇淋上抹番茄酱没啥区别 干嘛要毁了一个那么好看的屁屁呢？
Why do you wanna make it look like you sat in a pile of drag queens, why?
为啥要弄的跟变装皇后似的呢 为啥咩？
It's not right. Look, I'm not against butts. I like butts. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
这不对 不是我讨厌屁屁 我喜欢屁屁 我承认我喜欢又大又翘的屁屁
And you other brothers cannot deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung.
你们也不可否认 当有女孩扭着小蛮腰和大翘臀朝你走来时 你老激动了
Wanna pull up tough, cuz you notice the butt was stuffed deep in the jeans she's wearing.
你都忍不住了 因为你知道她们的大屁屁就藏在牛仔裤下面
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring. Baby, I wanna get with you and take your picture.
我上钩了 我忍不住盯着看 宝贝儿 我想跟你在一起 给你拍照片
Anyway. Glitter. If you can hear my voice I am pleading with you, stop this before it goes any further.
总之 闪光粉 如果你能看到我的视频 拜托你 在事情恶化之前赶紧收手
If you need to make your hiney shiny, take a shower.
如果你想让自己的翘臀闪光 去洗个澡吧
And if you want someone to notice your butt, all you have to do is just shake it when you're dancing.
如果你想让别人注意到你的翘臀 那就在跳舞的时候狂甩它就行了