Have you guys heard about this research team that's trying to transgenically manipulate chicken DNA to create some sort of chicken dinosaur?
你们有没有听说，有个研究小组试图对鸡的DNA进行转基因处理，创造出一种鸡恐龙之类的东西？
Oh, I think that sounds wonderful.
哦，我觉得这很棒。
What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
什么？你既怕恐龙又怕鸡啊。
Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.
对啊，但别告诉我一个恐龙鸡沙拉三明治没有中生代的感觉。
Hey, guys. Hey. Hello.
嘿，各位。你好呀。
We still on for tomorrow night? Yeah. I'm excited to finally meet your girlfriend.
明晚安排没变吧？当然。终于能见到你女朋友了，我很兴奋。
Yeah, oh, and speaking of which. According to a recent study out of Oxford University, when someone takes on a new romantic partner, that person loses one or two close friends.
是呀。说到这个，根据牛津大学最近的一项研究，每当一个人有了新的浪漫对象，就会失去一到两个亲密朋友。
Since when do you read social science?
你什么时候开始读社会科学的东西了？
I go to the bathroom like everybody else.
我跟其他人一样，上厕所也会看本书啊。
Why would I lose friends just because I started dating someone? Yeah, you didn't lose anyone when you met Amy.
为什么我谈恋爱就会失去朋友呢？对呀，你和Amy谈上的时候就没失去朋友。
Yeah, well, no, the study refers to romantic partners. Not the way I would categorize the two of us.
是没有。但研究说的是浪漫对象。我和Amy可不属于这个范畴。
You guys kiss and hold hands. I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.
可你们也会接吻牵手啊。我看到他怎么做的，一点都不浪漫。
Look, I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends just because he's in a relationship.
听着，我不是那种重色轻友的家伙。
What happens if she doesn't like us?
如果她不喜欢我们怎么办？
Well, hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years, and then you're dead to me.
嘿，你们是我的好朋友。刚开始几年你们会收到圣诞卡片之后就会彻底不联系了。
So, Howard, is Stuart still living with your mom?
Howard，Stuart还和你妈妈住一起吗？
I don't want to talk about it. But he's going to. - My mom got him cable!
我不想谈这个话题。但他马上就会吐槽了。- 我妈帮他装了有线！
In my whole life, growing up in that house...no cable.
我从小到大这么多年... 也没有线看。
Do you know how many HBOs that leech had my mother get him? Seven. Seven HBOs. Seven!
你知道那蚂蝗让我妈给他装了几个HBO台？七个。七个HBO台。七个！
Long story short, they have seven HBOs.
长话短说，他们装了七个HBO台。
Hey, guys. - Hey. - Hello.
嘿，各位。- 嘿。- 你好。
Emily, you know almost everybody here. - Hi. This is Leonard, this is Penny.
Emily，大多数你都认识了。- 嗨。这是Leonard，这是Penny。
Oh, it's so nice to meet you. - Nice to finally meet you, too.
见到你很高兴。- 彼此彼此。
Hi. -Hello. Well, Raj, you were not lying about her. I told you she exists.
嗨。-你好。Raj，她的事你没骗我们呀。我就说她是真人。
Hey, I hear you're a dermatologist.
嘿，我听说你是皮肤科医生。
Uh, yeah, I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
对，我Huntington医院做实习医生。
Oh, I like their emergency room. Yeah, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue fever, they still let you take a lollipop.
我喜欢他们的急救室。没错，哪怕你没查出得登革热，他们还是会给棒棒糖吃。
You know, Penny just started training to be a pharmaceutical sales rep. Maybe she can practice on you some time.
要知道，Penny刚开始接受医药销售代表的培训。也许她能和你练习一下。
Oh, it would be great to practice on a real doctor. Yeah. I'm sure that'd be fine.
我想在真正的医生身上试手会比较好。我想应该没问题的。
I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
我屁股上长了些奇怪的斑点。我能预约个时间让你帮忙看看吗？
Um...okay, I guess.
呃... 我想可以吧。
I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with two minutes, and he's taking his pants off.
我和他在一起三年，什么都没看着。她才来了两分钟，他就想脱裤子了。
Last night was fun. What did you think of Emily?
昨晚真有趣。你觉得Emily怎么样？
I don't know. I kind of got the sense she didn't like me.
我不知道。我有种感觉，她不喜欢我。
Did she say she didn't like you?
她说不喜欢你了吗？
Of course not. No one ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
当然没说。没人会当着对方的面说不喜欢她。
We have led different lives.
我们的经历太不一样了。
You guys just met. Why would she feel that way?
你们刚认识，她怎么会那么想？
It's just this vibe I got. I'm sure you're worried about nothing.
我就是有这种感应。肯定是你想太多了。
Yeah. You're probably right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out, she liked me a little too much.
是，也许你说得对。我以前觉得高中体育老师不喜欢我，结果却是她太过喜欢我了。
Really? Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out.
真的？对呀。不过没事。我们一起听了Melissa Etheridge的音乐会，我拿了A。结果都是好的。
When you go to Emily's office to practice, you'll see. It's fine.
等你去Emily办公室练习的时候，就会发现没事的。
Yeah, I hope you're right.
我希望你是对的。
You really went your entire life without anyone saying "I hate you" to your face? Yeah.
你真的这辈子都没遇到别人当面说"我讨厌你"？对呀。
I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.
我现在很想说，但你的颧骨太可爱了。
I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick. What, is this a comic book store, or a rave at the third little pig's house?
我好想念Stuart的店。吵杂的音乐和暴露在外的墙砖。这到底是个漫画店还是第三只小猪砖房里的派对啊？
Yup, I wish Stuart would reopen. I hate this place, too.
我真希望Stuart能重新开张。我也讨厌这个地方。
Okay, him I believe because he's an 80-year-old man in a 15-year-old's T-shirt.
好吧，我相信他说的话，因为他是个穿着青少年T恤的怀旧老头子。
But you're just upset about Stuart and your mom and all their HBOs.
但你只是在生Stuart、你妈妈和那些HBO有线电视台的气。
Yes, I am. You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of mother saying, "Stuart, which one is Thrones?"
是的。我现在甚至在看"权利的游戏"时，脑海里都有我妈的吼声："Stuart，谁是权利啊？"
You know, he might not reopen. He didn't get a lot of money from the insurance company.
他可能不会重新开张了。他没从保险公司那拿到多少钱。
Oh, boy, if there is one thing that gets my goat, those dad-gum insurance companies.
我的天，只有一样东西能让我火大的话，那就是那帮该死的保险公司。
Why? Because they won't get off your lawn?
为什么？因为他们整天烦你吗？
Oh, is Stuart trying to get a loan, or-or find investors?
哦，那Stuart有没有试着去贷款，或者...或者找投资商？
All I know is, he's got my mother buying four-ply toilet paper. I mean, four-ply.
我只知道他让我妈给他买了超厚卫生纸。真的，四层加厚的。
If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he just use an angora rabbit?
他的屁股如此娇嫩，为什么不买只长毛兔擦屁股？
For starters, they shed and bite.
首先，它们会掉毛还会咬人。
Hey, here's a thought. Why don't we put up the rest of the money that Stuart needs?
嘿，我有个办法。我们几个人凑钱补上Stuart还需要的资金吧？
So, we'd be, like, owners of a comic book store?
这样，我们就是漫画书店的股东了？
It's kind of a dream come true. That does sound fun.
有种梦想成真的感觉。听起来真不错。
Ooh, maybe we could come up with a business plan to compete with this place.
噢，说不定我们还可以制定商业计划，来和这家店竞争。
I'll give you a plan right now. Step one: open comic book store.
我现在就给你制定计划。第一步：开一家漫画书店。
Step two: start rumor this comic book store gives you genital warts.
第二步：开始散播谣言：这家书店会让你得生殖器疣。
Step three: buy a big bag to put the money in. It's not that bad.
第三步：买个大袋子装钱。这主意还不赖。
Hey. - Hi. Thank you so much for letting me practice my sales pitch on you. I really appreciate it. -Sure.
嘿。- 嗨。太感谢你了，能让我在你这练习推销。真的很感谢。-没事。
Um, I brought coffee. I wasn't sure what you like, so I got a regular, a cappuccino and a Chai tea.
嗯，我买了咖啡。我不知道你喜欢什么，所以我买了普通的，卡布奇诺的，还有香料茶。
Since you like Raj, I thought you might be into that.
你喜欢Raj，我想你可能会喜欢香料茶。
Thanks. If we could get started. I'm a little busy.
谢谢。我们可以开始了吧，我有点忙。
Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just get out my materials.
好的，当然。我先把材料拿出来。
Leonard gave me this briefcase. He used to carry it around in high school. You can still see the dent where they whacked him with it.
这公文包是Leonard送给我的，他以前在高中背的。你还能看到包上的凹痕，人家拿这包砸他留下的。
Okay, I would like to talk to you about our new birth control pill, Femevra. Great.
好吧，我给你介绍我们的新避孕药，氟美弗拉。不错。
So, Femevra's triphasic design provides balanced hormonal exposure. All right.
那么，氟美弗拉的三相设计能平衡你的荷尔蒙分泌。好的。
It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives.
同样也被证明，相比其他口服避孕药，它的副作用更少。
Although it can cause acne, which, if you ask me, kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive.
虽然会让你长痘痘。我认为，这也是一种有效的避孕方式。
Funny.
真有趣。
Okay, I'm sorry. Did we get off on the wrong foot? Because since the other night, I kind of feel like you might have a problem with me.
好吧。抱歉，我们之间是不是有误解？因为从那天晚上开始，我就有点觉得你可能对我存在芥蒂。
No, it's fine. Are you sure, because it doesn't seem fine?
不，挺好的。你确定吗？看起来不是很好啊。
Okay. If you really want to talk about this, I do have a problem.
好吧。你非要说这个问题的话，我确实心存芥蒂。
Oh, my God. Tell me...what did I do?
天哪，告诉我... 我哪做错了？
Look, it's nothing. It's just...Raj told me that a while ago, you two hooked up.
其实没什么。我只是...Raj告诉我不久前，你俩睡过。
What? ! Oh, why would he say that? Did it not happen?
什么？！他为什么那么说？你们没有吗？
Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up. Did you kiss? Yeah.
好吧，准确来说不算睡过。你们接吻了？是的。
Were you naked? Yeah. So, it was a hook-up. No. Yeah.
你们都裸着？是的。那就是睡过了。没有。有。
So, what are some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition?
那么，我们有什么办法能让我们的漫画店在同行中脱颖而出？
Oh, kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store.
孩子买漫画书，想个主意让更多的小孩来我们店再好不过了。
You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride.
我小时候，就很喜欢去漫画店。但是从来搭不到车。
Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around and picked kids up?
哦，那我们就开辆货车四处转悠，带孩子们去漫画店吧？
Nice. You mean, like at parks and schools? Toy stores, puppet shows.
好主意。你的意思是，在公园和学校门口等？还有玩具店，木偶剧院。
Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up? Yes.
等等。你们的主意是要弄一辆货车，在大街上找搭车的孩子？是的。
And are you gonna use candy to lure them in? We are now!
然后要用糖引诱他们上车？你不说我们还想不到呢！
You told Emily we hooked up? ! Um, well, in my defense, I tell everybody.
你告诉Emily我们睡过？！我要辩一句，我告诉了所有人。
Why would you say that? ! We were having a conversation about past lovers.
你为什么这么说？！那时候我们在说前任的问题。
We weren't lovers! Come on. Everyone knows we didn't sleep together. We got drunk and fooled around. Why couldn't you just leave me out of it?
我们没有谈过恋爱！拜托。每个人都知道我们没有上床。我们只是喝醉了犯傻。为什么你要扯上我呢？
Well, we were being honest. You would leave me out of the conversation with the next guy if you dump Leonard?
我们都坦诚相告。要是你甩了Leonard之后和下一任也不会提起我吗？
Why say it? - Yes!
说这个干嘛？- 是的！
Well, I would never leave you off my list, and not just because, without you, we're playing fast and loose with the word "list".
我不会把你在我的恋爱史上排除掉的。而且因为 没有你的话，我的恋爱好像就没有"史"了。
Well, good job. Now she hates me.
干得漂亮。现在她讨厌我了。
Great.
这下好了。
On the bright side, that Oxford study was right. One friend down. I wonder who you're going to lose next.
至少，牛津大学的研究是对的。你已经少了一个朋友了。真想知道下一个会是谁。
You, okay? It's you. You're...you're next! No. You're crazy about me.
是你，行了吧？就是你了。你就是...你就是下一个了！才不会呢，你那么喜欢我。