Previously on The Big Bang Theory.
《生活大爆炸》前情提要。
We were worried about you.
我们担心你。
Don't be melodramatic.
别这么夸张。
I'm just getting on a train and leaving forever.
我只是准备登上火车永远离开。
Well, so a few things don't go your way and your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo?
生活中有几件事不如你意，你就决定像个流浪汉般坐火车远走高飞吗？
Leonard, I am overwhelmed.
莱纳德，我不知所措。
Everything is changing, and it's simply too much.
一切都在改变，多到让人无法接受。
I need to get away and think.
我需要离开，好好想想。
Sheldon...Yes?
谢尔顿...什么事？
I'm gonna miss you.
我会想你的。
Of course you are.
这不废话吗。
You just made that easier.
慢走不送。
Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?
打扰一下。有没有可能你现在打的是毛线裤呢？
Oh, well, no, you're understandably terrified. But, you know, allow me to explain.
别走，你感到害怕是可以理解的。但请给我个机会解释。
45 days ago, um, I embarked on a railroad journey of healing because my university was making me do string theory,
45天前，我开启了一段心灵疗伤铁路之旅，因为当时我的大学逼我研究弦理论，
and my favorite comic book store burned down, and when my roommate got engaged,
而我最喜爱的漫画店发生了火灾，我的室友还订婚了，
my girlfriend wanted to move in with me, which was no doubt a ploy just to see my - well, excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts.
而我女朋友想搬进来跟我同居，而那明显是幌子，她的目的...抱歉失礼了，是染指我小裤裤里的东西。
Uh, sir, may I use your phone?
先生，能借用一下电话吗？
I don't think so.
恐怕不能。
Yeah, well, I understand that I'm half naked, but there is a reasonable explanation.
好吧，我知道我现在是半裸的，但是我有个合理的解释。
While I slept in my sleeper car, all my possessions were stolen.
我在火车卧铺上睡觉时东西全被偷走了。
Now, typically, I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the Man.
通常来说，我都会穿睡裤，但最近我习惯了流浪汉的生活方式，而睡裤是普通人穿来睡觉的。
I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him!
我告诉你，圣雄甘地也没穿裤子，全印度还不是团结起来支持他！
My good man...Now, before you walk away...I know that I may appear deranged, but I am, in fact, a world-renowned physicist.
老兄在你走之前我想说我可能看起来像疯子，但其实我是一个世界闻名的物理学家。
Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion.
不信你问我玻色子跟费米子的差异。
You go ahead, ask! Bosons have integer spin, fermions have half-integer spin!
来啊，你问吧！玻色子自旋为整数，费米子自旋为半整数！
My legs are getting cold! Why won't anybody help me?
我的腿好冷！为什么没人帮帮我呢？
Morning. Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
早安。想跟我一起做瑜伽吗？
Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.
让我先喝杯咖啡，我才有力气告诉你我超级不想做瑜伽。
Hello? Hello, Leonard. Hey, buddy. Good to hear your voice.
你好？莱纳德，是我。兄弟，很高兴又听到你的声音。
Uh, I'm in Kingman, Arizona, and, uh, I need you to come pick me up.
我在亚利桑那州的金曼我要你来接我一趟。
I'd love to. I'm just about to do yoga with Penny.
我很乐意。可是我得跟佩妮一起做瑜伽。
Leonard, I'm at the police station.
莱纳德，我在警局里。
I was robbed. Th They took my phone, my wallet, my iPad, everything.
我被人洗劫一空。他们拿走了我手机我的皮包、我的iPad，全被偷了。
Oh, my God, are you okay? No, I'm not okay.
天啊，你没事吧？当然有事。
I I'm wearing borrowed pants, I I don't have I.D. , and one of the officers here won't stop calling me Chicken Legs.
我穿着借来的裤子身上，也没证件，而这里其中一个警察一直叫我小鸡脚。
Okay. Uh, I'll I'll come get you. What's the address? Hey, what's going on?
好吧。我来接你。地址呢？怎么了？
He got all of his stuff stolen. Okay...Hurry.
他的东西全被偷了。好的...快来。
Sheldon, hang tight. Hey, do you want me to bring anything?
谢尔顿，撑住。你还需要我带什么东西给你吗？
Oh, yes, please. A pair of pants. And my toothbrush. Yeah, and my mail.
拜托你了。带条裤子。我的牙刷。我的信。
And a really good comeback for chicken legs, because "I know you are, but what am I?" was met with stony silence.
还有帮我想怎么回敬人家笑我小鸡脚，因为我回他"你才是小鸡腿，你们全家都是小鸡腿"他只无语的藐视我。
I'll be there as soon as I can.
我会尽快过来。
Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine, he's just a little rattled.
他没事吧？人是没事，就是有点吓着了吧。
Oh...Feel like driving to Arizona with me?
哦...有兴趣陪我一起开车去亚利桑那吗？
I can't, I have that job interview. Oh, right.
不行，我得去面试呢。对哦。
Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different.Why did you change your hair?
而且我也不想听六个小时的"你的发型变了。你为什么换发型了？
I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back.
我要憋住呼吸到你头发长出来为止。
All right, fine.
好吧，行。
Hey, can you think of a reason I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me? Nope.
你能想到我不应该邀请艾米跟我一起来的理由吗？没有。
Come on, you didn't even try.
靠，你想都没帮忙想。
Thanks for the lift.
谢谢你来接我。
What's wrong with your car?
你的车怎么了？
I'm having my windows untinted.
我把车送去弄掉防晒膜了。
Why? Got a hot girlfriend now. I want the haters to know.
为什么？现在有个辣妹女友。得秀给嫉妒的屌丝们看看啊。
What are you talking about? No one's paying attention to you.
你在瞎说什么啊？才没人会鸟你咧。
How's that Hater-ade taste, bro? Hey, this isn't the way to work.
嫉妒水的滋味可好，兄弟？这不是上班的路啊。
I just want to pop in and make sure Ma's okay.
我想经过我妈家，看看她好不好。
I thought Stuart was looking after her.
斯图尔特不是在照顾她吗。
He was, but now that her cast is off, he moved out.
本来是，我妈石膏拆了后，他就搬了。
And honestly, I'm kind of glad. It was getting a little weird.
老实说，我挺高兴的。他们俩后来有点怪怪的。
How so? I don't know, they're...chummy.
怎么怪？我不会说，他们...很亲密。
Like us? No, not like us.
像我们这样吗？不，跟我们不一样。
Creepy chummy, like you and your dog.
是恶心的那种亲密，就像你和你的狗。
She feeds him out of her own mouth?
你妈妈亲自用嘴给他喂食吗？
I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly around each other.
我是说，他叫我妈黛比，我妈叫他图仔，他们整天两个人黏一起傻笑。
And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out.
相信我，任何食物只要一到我妈嘴里就只进不出了。
So are you worried because he's replacing you as a son or are you worried because he's becoming her lover?
所以你是担心他要取代你儿子的位置，还是担心他会成为你妈妈的情人？
First of all, no one can replace me as a son. I'm her little matzo ball.
首先，没人能取代我儿子的位置。我是我妈的宝贝小汤丸。
And secondly, my mother is well past having any kind of sex life.
其次，我妈这么大年纪早就跟性生活无缘了。
Okay, okay. Although many older women lead vibrant, active...I said well past it!
好吧。其实有很多老年女性仍过着活力四射的...我说无缘就是无缘！
Excuse me, Officer Hernandez? Any leads on the person who stole my belongings?
请问一下，赫尔南德斯警官？有任何偷我东西的贼的线索了吗？
Not yet. Well, perhaps I can help.
还没。或许我可以帮忙。
Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
神探福尔摩斯曾说过排除所有不可能因素，剩下的即使再不合理必然是事实的真相。
Now, have-have you tried doing that? Nope.
你试过这么做吗？没有。
Well, maybe you should.
或许你该试试。
Th Th There's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."
世上有很多叫《神探福尔摩斯》的书，而却没有一本叫《神警赫尔南德斯》。
Thanks again for coming. Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself.
谢谢你来陪我。我一个人开六个小时的车实在太漫长了。
My pleasure.
我的荣幸。
And I'm not angry at all that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me. I love that!
而且我一点也不气我男朋友落难时，居然打给你而不是我。真是太好了！
Yeah, time's gonna fly by.
好吧，这六小时一定过得"飞快"。
I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous.
我好几年没去面试了。我真的好紧张。
Don't be. You are built for pharmaceutical sales.
别紧张。你天生就是干医药销售这行的。
You're cute, you're flirty and...Started that like there were gonna be three things.
你可爱、轻浮而且...本来以为会有三个优点说呢...
I don't have any experience in sales.
我没有任何销售经验。
Unless you count the bikini car wash I did in high school. But you already made me take that off my resume?
除非我在高中时穿着比基尼洗车也算。但你叫我把这段从我简历上删掉了？
This job is a lot like being a waitress, except instead of pushing the fish tacos 'cause they're about to go bad,
这份工作其实跟服务生很像，只不过你不是给客人推销快变质的鱼肉玉米卷，
you're just pushing our antidepressants before the FDA finds out they may cause rectal bleeding.
你是推销我们的抗抑郁药，在FDA发现这药能引起直肠出血之前赶紧卖掉。
They do?
是真的吗？
Maybe. But like our lawyers say, the world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed.
或许吧。但就像我们律师说的，这世界上有很多东西能导致直肠出血。
Anyway, I talked you up to Dan.
我在丹面前帮你说了不少好话。
He's the guy who'll be interviewing you.
他就是面试你的那个人。
Oh, I really appreciate this. I just hope I'm not in over my head.
真是太谢谢你了。我只希望我到时不会手足无措。
You'll be fine. Just be yourself. I wish I felt more confident.
没事的。就跟平时一样表现自己。我真希望我能多点自信。
Penny, I wouldn't have put you up for this job if I didn't think you could handle it.
佩妮如果我觉得你不能胜任这份工作，我就不会推荐你。
Oh, thank you, but maybe I should cancel.
谢谢，但或许我该取消面试。
It's too late to cancel. You're going. But I don't know anything about pharmaceuticals.
现在取消太晚了。你一定要去。但我对医药没有任何了解。
Oh, I understand. You want to do something you're already good at.
我明白了。你想从事你擅长的工作。
I know. Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
我懂。那我何不帮你在"穿着瑜伽裤宅在家工厂"找一份工作呢？
They're comfortable.
那裤子真的很舒服嘛。
Ma, I hope you're decent. Raj is here!
妈，把衣服穿好。拉杰也在哦！
You just started seeing naked women again, and I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be.
你最近才开始重新看见女人裸体，我不想让你对咪咪到底该垂到哪儿感到困惑。
Oh, hey, guys. What are you doing here?
你们好啊。你们怎么会来这里？
Uh...w-what are you doing here? I thought you moved out.
那你又怎么在这里？我以为你搬出去了。
Oh, yeah, I was going to, and then Debbie and I got to talking over dinner the other night.
我本来打算搬的，但某天晚上，我和黛比在吃饭时聊到这事。
I didn't have anyplace to go, she likes having me around, so we both said, "Why leave?" at the same time.
我没有住的地方，她也喜欢我待在这里，所以我俩异口同声说"那为什么还要搬？"
It was precious. It's not that precious.
无比珍贵的一段回忆啊。也没那么珍贵吧。
I'd like to back you up, but it sounds like it was pretty precious.
我本来想支持你的但听得起来的确弥足珍贵。
Stewie, I can't find my glasses! Be right there, Deb Deb!
图仔，我找不到眼镜了！马上来，小黛黛！
They're probably on her head. Or in her neck.
眼镜可能就在她头上。或者在她脖子的肉里。
Listen. You staying here seems like something she would've talked to me about.
听着。你留在这里住这件事她应该会跟我说一声啊。
Well, maybe if you called your mother more often, you'd know.
如果你经常给你母亲打电话，你早知道了。
It wouldn't kill you to pick up the phone.
打电话回家又不会少块肉。
Any word on my stolen items? We're doing everything we can.
我被偷的物品有消息了吗？我们在尽一切努力帮你找。
You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus.
神探福尔摩斯喜欢用可卡因来让自己集中注意力。
But I'm sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick.
但我确定膨化垃圾食品对你也有同样功效。
Sheldon. Leonard! Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
谢尔顿。莱纳德！见到你我太高兴了。
Are you okay? Oh, I'm fine. Why did you come?
你没事吧？没事。你怎么来了？
What do you mean, why did I come?
你这话什么意思？
You're my boyfriend. I haven't seen you in over a month.
你是我的男朋友。我们超过一个月没有见面了。
I just drove six hours to help you out.
我开了六个小时的车过来接你。
Don't you have anything to say besides, "Why did you come?"
你除了说"你怎么来了"就没别的话跟我说了吗？
I do, but...I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud in front of these police officers.
有，是有，但...在这么多警察叔叔面前大声说出来我觉得不太妥。
Fine. Whisper it. Shotgun.
好。悄悄告诉我。我要坐前排。