Take us someplace we can waltz.
带我们去能跳华尔兹的地方
Where you can what?
跳什么的地方
Waltz. It's a social dance from Austria choreographed to a three-four time signature.
华尔兹舞 这是奥地利的一种社交舞 精心设计的3/4拍节奏舞蹈(《蓝色多瑙河》 小约翰·施特劳斯)
Oh, waltz. Here we go.
哦 华尔兹舞啊 出发
*I kissed a girl and I liked it* *I hope my boyfriend don't mind...*
我吻了个女孩 感觉很不错 希望我男友并不介意
What happened to you?
你秀逗了吗
Shake it baby, shake it! Muy caliente, Sheldon!
摇摆起来 宝贝 摇摆起来 热力四射啊 谢尔顿
Care to dance?
能请你跳舞吗
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm engaged.
抱歉 我订婚了
How about you?
这位小姐呢
Oh, what the hell.
随便吧
How come if we're the smart people, we don't do this every night?
我们这么聪明的人 怎么之前没夜夜笙歌呢
What's 16 times 14?
16乘以14等于多少
My burps taste like cranberry juice.
我打出的嗝有股蔓越莓饮料味
And there's your answer.
这就是你的回答
Would you like to come in for a nightcap?
想进来喝一杯(nightcap也作睡帽用)吗
If you're referring to the beverage, you know I don't drink. If you're referring to the hat you don while wearing a nightshirt and holding a candle, I have one.
如果你指的是喝杯酒水 你知道我不喝这些的 如果你指的是睡帽 同时还穿着睡衣举着蜡烛的话 那我已经有一顶了
I have Yoo-hoo.
我家有哟呼哦(软饮)
It's hard to say no to Yoo-hoo. The name literally beckons.
这怎么忍心拒绝呢 这名字就太吸引人了
Make yourself comfortable.
别拘束 随意吧
Thank you. Is someone smoking?
谢谢 有人在抽烟吗
Oh, that's just Ricky.
那是因为里奇呀
You own a smoking monkey?
你养了只抽烟的猴子
Don't be silly. He's one of the animals in my department's nicotine addiction study.
别傻了 这只是我实验室里其中一只用来研究尼古丁上瘾的
What's he doing here?
那它在这干嘛
I'm giving him emphysema. The least I can do is let him hang out and watch Cable.
既然我要让它得肺气肿 至少能带它出来逛逛看看电视做补偿吧
Remarkable. Aren't you worried about secondhand smoke?
太了不起了 你不担心二手烟吗
A little. The real danger is him biting my face off while I'm sleeping.
有点 但真正的危险是它趁我睡觉咬我的脸
Is he deliberately blowing smoke at me?
它是故意往我脸上吹的吗
Yeah. He's kind of an ass.
对 它就是一混蛋
Thank you. May I share something with you that's troubling me?
谢谢能让我跟你倾诉下让我深受困扰的事吗
Of course. What's rattling around that big bulbous head of yours?
当然 是什么让你这聪慧大脑烦恼呢
Priya has essentially nullified my roommate agreement with Leonard, making life in the apartment very uncomfortable for me.
普丽娅基本上使 我和莱纳德的室友协议无效化了 令我的生活无比难受
And you want me to kill her? Done.
你想让我杀了她吗 没问题
No, of course not.
不是的 当然不是
I trained Ricky how to smoke. I can train him to shoot a poison dart. No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.
我既然能训练里奇吸烟 就能训练它发毒镖 陪审团不会判我们有罪 因为他们都喜欢猴子
I understand the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is that makes girls go wild... but I really need to talk to smart Amy now.
我能理解 酒精煽动起了不知道是什么 反正能让女人变狂野 但我现在真的得跟聪明艾米谈话
Excuse me. Have you considered that your intelligence might be the very thing causing your dilemma?
失陪一下 难道你还没意识到你的非凡智慧可能就是导致你这一困境的罪魁
No.
没
What do you think Ricky over here would do if an interloper encroached on his territory?
你以为当有入侵者侵入里奇的地盘 它会怎么做
Well, when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance through chasing, assault and a stylized penile display. That's a little outside my comfort zone.
面临挑战 猴子们会追赶 攻击 还有露阴等办法 来维护自己的统治 这个我可有点做不来
You're being too literal. My point is, he would not meekly surrender to the rules, and neither should you.
你太夸张了 我是说 它不会轻易屈服于规则 你也不该屈服
Are you suggesting I play dirty?
你是建议我使坏吗
Yes, dirty. Dirty... dirty... dirty. Which brings me to our next order of business.
对 使坏 使坏 使坏 使坏 ( 来吧 对我使坏吧） 说到这 我想进行第二阶段行动了
Fascinating.
真"醉"人
I hope you don't take what I'm about to do as a comment on what we just did.
接下来我要做的事 我希望不会是你对刚才咱俩刚做的事的评语
Who's to say you shouldn't be dissecting our brains? You really are an ass.
是谁说的你不应该被植入人类的脑细胞呢 你还真是个混蛋
Morning, Sheldon.
早安 谢尔顿
Oh, good, you're up. I've written a new and improved roommate agreement that benefits me greatly. I'd like you to sign it.
很好 你们起来了 我写了一份经过改良 好让我占大便宜的新室友协议 我想让你把它签了
Why would I want to do that?
我为什么要签
Excellent question. Do you remember what happened to the alien, played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin, in the Star Trek episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"?
问得好 你记得由天才演员弗兰克·乔辛客串（《星际迷航》里那集"最后的战役"）里面的外星人下场如何吧
Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence and threatened to blow up the Enterprise and kill them both unless he gave in?
柯克船长激活自毁程序威胁要炸毁进取号 除非他投降 否则一起同归于尽
Affirmative. Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Activate self-destruct sequence. Code 1-1-A-2-B. Self-destruct sequence activated.
正确 计算机 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士 激活自毁程序 代号11A2B 自毁程序已激活
What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?
你打算怎么做 谢尔顿 炸飞这间公寓吗
That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.
我一开始是这么想的 但我的宝贝都在这
So what happens when it counts down?
那倒数完了之后会怎么样
Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you're in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter.
除非莱纳德在接下来的41秒里把这份新协议签了 否则它就会给你远在印度的父母发一封电邮揭发你跟一个比棉花糖霜还白的男人莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德搞地下情
Oh, my God.
天啊
What's the big deal?
这有什么大不了的
Trust me, it's a big deal.
相信我 这是大事
They're gonna find out about me eventually, right?
他们迟早会知道我的 对吧
Yeah, of course, just not today.
对 当然 但不是今天
20 seconds.
还剩20秒
Are you ashamed of me?
你觉得我拿不出手
Of course not.
当然不是
Then why can't we tell your parents?
那为什么不能告诉你父母
Please, don't push this.
拜托 别逼我
He does that all the time, doesn't he? 15.
他一直都这样 不是吗 还剩15秒
Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off.
好吧 谢尔顿 你赢了 关了它
No, he's bluffing.
不 他在虚张声势呢
I never bluff. Ten. It's blackmail! Nine. We give up. Eight. This is ridiculous.
我从来不虚张声势 还剩10秒 你这是敲诈 还剩10秒 我们投降了 还剩8秒 这太荒谬了
It's a laptop with a full charge. Honestly, what do you see in him?
这台电脑早就充满电了 说实话 你到底看上他哪点
Give him what he wants or we're done.
照他说的做 不然咱们就分手
Three.
还剩3秒
Really?
说真的
Two.
最后两秒
Okay, I'll sign it!
好 我签
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
自毁程序中断
You may have gone to Cambridge, but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.
你也许在剑桥上过学 但哥可是星舰学院的荣誉毕业生
Good morning, Amy.
早上好 艾米
It most assuredly is not.
这句问候语肯定是反语
Are you experiencing dehydration, headache, nausea and shame?
你是不是口渴 头疼 恶心 还有羞愧呢
Yes. I also found a Korean man's business card tucked into my cleavage. What happened last night?
是 我还发现我的事业线里藏着一张韩国男人的名片 昨晚发生什么事了
Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
啊哈 记忆障碍 干完每瓶伏尔加之后 都会免费得到这个奖赏
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
All right. Last night you gave me some excellent advice regarding my problem here at home, you kissed me and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes, following which you passed out on your bathroom floor. I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow, set your oven clock to the correct time because it was driving me crazy... ...and I left.
好吧 昨晚 鉴于我在家的问题 你给了我一些很好的建议 你亲完我 然后断断续续干呕了40分钟 之后你就昏倒在厕所地板上 我折了块毛巾 垫在你头下作为枕头 还给你烤箱调到正确的时间 因为它太让我抓狂了 然后我就走了
Okay. Don't really know where we go from here.
好吧 真不知道接下来咱俩该怎么办
I suggest we treat our relationship as if it were a crashed computer and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked.
我建议把我们的关系看作是一台当机的电脑 还原到上一次我们都觉得可行的点
Terrific. Thank you. They were out of menthols! Get off my back. Not easy living with a temperamental little primate.
很好 谢谢你 没有薄荷糖卖了 快从我背上滚下来 跟坏脾气的灵长动物一起生活真不容易呀
Come on, Priya, just admit I embarrass you!
说啊 普丽娅 你就直说是我让你觉得羞愧吧
You're preaching to the choir, sister.
姐们儿 我懂的