Oh, hey.
嗨
Hi. Yo, P-dog.
嗨 好啊
What's up?
宅女 有事吗
We're here to kidnap you for a girls' night out.
我们来绑架你出去过女生之夜
Parenthetical: the term "Kidnap" is being used playfully.
说明一下 所谓“绑架"是开玩笑的
I kind of figured that.
我知道的
Good. Now put this pillowcase over your head.
很好 那就把这枕头套套上去
No.
不要
She used to be much more fun, until Leonard punched her in the heart.
她以前比这有趣多了 直到莱纳德狠狠伤了她的心
We just thought you might want to go out and have a good time, maybe go dancing.
我们认为你应该想出去 好好玩一下或者去跳跳舞
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm not really in the mood.
天 谢谢 可我现在没心情
You do understand that it will distract you from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving that your ex-boyfriend is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
你要知道 沉醉到其他各种甜蜜可爱事情上 能让你不去注意你的前男友正得到孟买火热宝贝的青睐
Okay, look, if I agree to go out with you guys, will you promise to stop pestering me about Leonard and Priya?
好吧 我要是同意跟你们出去玩 你们要保证不拿莱纳德和普丽娅的事烦我
Yes.
好的
Sure.
当然
All right. I'll go change. Come on in.
好吧 我去换衣服 进来吧
If you'd have let me bring the chloroform, we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber.
你要是让我带了哥罗芳(迷药) 我们就不必说刚才那么多废话了
Anyway, after we get done snowboarding, I go back to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi. There's no one around, so naturally, I'm free-balling it. Next thing I know, this beautiful chick shows up, drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me.
总之 我们滑雪滑累了之后 我就回旅馆泡极可意按摩浴缸了 周围没有人 所以我自然就让蛋蛋出来呼吸了 然后有位美女突然出现 喝得醉醺醺地想跟我共浴
Question. Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
提问 那是极可意浴缸还是热水浴缸
Really? That's your question? What's the difference?
你坑爹呢? 就想问这个?! 有什么区别
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand. "Hot tub" is the generic term. I.E., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
极可意浴缸是种商业品牌 热水浴缸是通用术语 就是说 所有极可意都是热水浴缸 但并非所有热水浴缸都是极可意
Is that like all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs?
是不是就像所有拇指都是手指 但并非所有手指都是拇指
Surprisingly, yes. Nice.
没想到啊 是的 很好
Now, what exactly are toes?
那脚趾到底是什么
Can you please get back to the drunk girl? I'd like something to think about in the shower. Oh, yeah. Right. Anyway, she takes off all of her clothes, climbs into the hot tub, and the first thing I notice...
能否跳回去继续说那醉妞 我洗澡的时候需要点想象的灵感啊 对了 总之 她也脱光光了 爬进了热水浴缸 我首先注意到的是...
The water level rose.
水面上升了
No.
不是
Of course it did. It's said that Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician, discovered the principle of displacement while taking a bath.
水位当然要上升 据说阿基米德(古希腊数学家)就是泡澡时发现了浮力定律
Terrific. Go ahead, Zack. Naked drunk girl, free-balling, continue.
太棒了 继续说 扎克 光光的醉妞 光光的蛋蛋 继续
Forgive me, but I think you'll find my story is more interesting.
抱歉 但我觉得你们会发现我的故事更有趣
Does yours have wet breasts in it?
你的故事里也有沾露娇乳吗
Better. It has a gold crown. You see, the king wondered how much gold was in it and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution. Because the crown was irregularly shaped, there was no way to mathematically determine its volume. But, while bathing, Archimedes realized he could immerse the crown and measure the amount the water rose.
比这更好 里面有个金冠 国王想知道金冠中有多少黄金 让阿基米德想个办法测出来 因为金冠形状不规则 无法用数学计算出体积 但在泡澡时 阿基米德突然想到可以把金冠浸入水中 量出水面上升的数值以计算体积
So, long story short, I nailed her.
长话短说 我上了她
When he finished, he shouted "Eureka!"
想出来后 他高叫着“我找到了”（希腊语）
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!" Don't know why. Just do.
不 我总是叫“天哪” 不知道为什么 反正就这么叫
All right, that concludes the "Getting to know you" Portion of the evening. Who's ready to play some vintage video games? And tonight's selections include ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue in Gargamel's Castle," ColecoVision Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch," and for you text adventure aficionados, "Zork."
好吧 今晚的“让我们了解你”部分到此为止 谁想来玩些复古游戏 今晚的选择包括的“蓝精灵救援之格格巫城堡” 雅达利的“饼干怪兽大口嚼”（是一款《芝麻街》电玩）以及给你们这种文字冒险游戏迷准备的“索克”
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.
选我选我 我可好玩啦
That all sucks the big hairy meatball.
里面那个长毛大肉球可恶心了
How about I go get the karaoke machine out of my car, get plastered and blow the roof off this place?
我去把我车上的卡拉OK机拿出来 喝个酩酊大醉 然后把放声高歌把屋顶掀飞 怎么样
Great, I'll make a beer run.
很好 我负责买啤酒
And I'll take a shower. We'll meet back here in 15. Check.
那我负责去洗澡 15分钟后见 就这么定了
I'm unhappy.
我负责不高兴
This is delicious. Where'd you learn to make chili?
真好吃 你这辣椒汤在哪儿学的
When I was at university in England, my flatmate was from Texas.
我在英国读大学的时候 我室友是得克萨斯州人
I hope she wasn't anything like my flatmate from Texas.
希望她不跟我那位得克萨斯室友一样
Sheldon is a bit quirky, isn't he?
谢尔顿有点古怪 对吧
Oh, please. That crazy bastard's looking at quirky in the rearview mirror. Did you know that, per our roommate agreement, I have to wash my feet before I get in the shower? And not in the sink. We each have special buckets.
拜托 回顾那个混蛋疯子的人生 全都是古怪这个词儿呢 你们知道吗 我们的室友协议里面规定 我必须在洗澡前先把脚洗干净 而且还不能在水池子里洗 所以我们各有一个特制的小桶
Raj, did you ever tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
拉杰 你有告诉过你妹妹 谢尔顿曾被比尔·盖茨扁过吗
Oh, God, you're kidding.
天啊 你开玩笑呢吧
Nope. Gates gave a speech at the university. Sheldon went up to him afterwards and said, "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa, you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
真的 盖茨来大学里演讲 结束后 谢尔顿走过去跟他说 如果你不是为非洲的病童那么劳神的话 或许你能有多一点想法 好好弄弄Windows Vista"
Bam. Right in the nose. Made me proud to own a PC.
砰 正中鼻头 顿时让我觉得 拥有一台电脑是多么骄傲的事情
I'd like to propose a toast to a rare and wonderful Sheldon-free evening. Hear, hear. Cheers.
我提议为今晚举杯欢庆为这完全摆脱谢尔顿的珍贵而美妙的夜晚 说得对 干杯
You realize that's the first time we've ever done that without having to listen to Sheldon tell us why it's called a toast?
你们发现这是破天荒头一遭 我们举杯欢庆而不被谢尔顿强迫科普何为祝酒吗
Why is it called a toast?
那何为祝酒
Oh, the ancient Romans put spiced toast in their punch bowls.
古罗马人把香喷喷的面包片放到他们的酒碗里
Sheldon tells it better.
谢尔顿解释得更好
He kind of does. Yeah. Aw, hell, I miss him.
好像是 的确是 该死的 我想他了
So, where do you guys want to go dancing?
那你们想去哪里跳舞
We were hoping you'd know a place.
我们希望你会知道个好地方
Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly with young, beautiful bodies sweating and writhing against each other in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
对 或许那里上演着一场超棒的肉体狂欢会 紧身的衣服藏不住年轻美丽的躯体 大家挥洒着汗水 相互扭成一团
Oh, yeah, I know that place. What do you think?
没错 我是知道这么个地方 这身怎么样
That should display enough of your bosom to attract a new mate, or a hungry infant.
应该能充分展示你的胸襟好吸引一个新男友 或是一个饥饿的婴儿
Okay, let's go through this one more time. Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend does not mean I need to go out and hook up with some guy.
够了 我再跟你们重申一次 只因莱纳德有了新女友并不意味着我要出去勾引一个新男友
But you could if you wanted to, right?
但如果你想你就可以 不是吗
Well, yeah, I guess.
话是这么说 没错
Pick out the hottest guy in the room, take him home, do unspeakable things to him, then kick him to the curb with a smile on his face and teeth marks on his heinie?
从房间里挑选出一位最辣的猛男 把他带回家跟他做一些不能说的秘密 然后让他面带微笑 臀带牙印滚到路边
More or less.
差不多吧
What's that like?
那是种怎样的滋味呀
I don't know. It's fun while you're doing it. And then after, it's mostly embarrassment, self-loathing and regret.
我也说不清 当你做的时候 乐在其中 但过后 大多时候会尴尬 自我厌恶和后悔
I would take that deal all day long.
我愿意整天都享受这种滋味
Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen tonight. You know, for the first time in my life, I am not in a relationship, and I'm totally okay with it.
好吧 但今晚不会发生这种事 这是我人生中第一次不谈恋爱 我也完全觉得没有关系
You know, if being on your own is new to you, I'd be happy to share some tension-relieving techniques for ladies I've perfected over the years. For example, do you have an electric toothbrush? Um, no. You should get one.
如果独自一人对你来说很新鲜 我很乐意跟你分享一些 我这么多年来爱用的解除空窗期紧张的女士专用科技产品 比如 你有电动牙刷吗 没有 那你应该买一个
What's that?
那是什么
It appears to be something preserved between two pieces of acrylic.
好像是保存的某些东西夹在两片丙烯酸树脂之间
Oh, it's a snowflake from the North Pole. Leonard gave it to me last year.
那是来自北极的雪花片 莱纳德去年给我的
Oh, God, that is so romantic. Yeah, it was.
天啊 真浪漫 是呀 曾经是
Leonard's really one of a kind.
莱纳德真是独一无二的情种
Saying that while holding a snowflake is a bit heavy-handed, don't you think?
一边拿着雪花一边说这话 不觉得手上的东西有点儿沉么
Let me see that. Oh, screw it. I can deal with a little self-loathing. Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
让我看看 去它的破雪花 一点半点的自我厌恶 姐还是能处理的 走吧 找个小翘臀让姐咬一口
Outstanding. And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS and pick you out a nice toothbrush. I call mine "Gerard."
人才呀 如果失败了 我们可以在CVS停车 然后给你买个厉害的电动牙刷 我管我的牙刷叫"杰拉德"
That's kind of creepy.
这有点太怪了
* Don't go breaking my heart * * I couldn't if I tried * * Oh, honey, if I get restless * * Baby, you're not that kind * * Don't go breaking my heart * *
不要让我心碎 * 如果我奋力一搏 结果也枉然 * 亲爱的 如果我焦躁不安 * 宝贝 你不是这种人 * 不要让我心碎 *
Anybody do "Walking on Sunshine" Yet?
有人唱《走在阳光里》了吗
No.
没有
Dibs.
那我定啦
I'm sorry, Sheldon bought a loom and learned how to weave?
抱歉 你是说谢尔顿买了台织布机然后学习织布吗
He actually got pretty good. He made us all matching serapes.
他其实学得挺好的 他给我们都做一件相配的毛毯
I still wear mine when there's a nip in the air.
每当寒风刺骨的时候 我还会拿出来披上
Now, was this before or after he adopted the 25 cats?
那是在他养那25只猫的之前还是之后
Long before the cats. I think it was around the time he tried to declare our apartment a sovereign nation. I still have some of the currency.
在养猫很久之前 我觉得好像是在他试着宣告我们的公寓是个主权国家的那段时间 我至今还留有些货币呢
All my friends. All my friends. All my friends.
我的朋友们 我的朋友们 我的朋友们
I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.
我觉得就跟《 阴间大法师》一样 咱们刚才总是念叨谢尔顿
Come on in. Thank you. Hey. I thought you were with your new buddies.
快进来 谢谢 我还以为你跟你的新朋友在一起呢
I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.
我必须得离开 他们的玩乐方式有误
Come here, Sheldon. Sit here with me.
过来 谢尔顿 跟我坐
Thank you.
谢谢
Would you like some homemade chili?
你来点私房辣椒汤吗
Are there beans in it? Yes. Then it's not chili. Real chili has no beans in it, but you're from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven.
汤里有豆子吗 有 那就不是辣椒汤 地道的辣椒汤是没有豆子的 但由于你是来自异乡人 你的无知可以被谅解
Sheldon, do you want some or not?
谢尔顿 你要还是不要
Yes, please. Your girlfriend's a little short-tempered.
要 谢谢 你女人的脾气有点毛躁呀
I'd like to propose a toast to friends, no matter how quirky. Cheers.
我提议举杯欢庆致朋友们 不管他有多古怪 干杯
Priya, do you know why this is called a toast?
普丽娅 你知道何为祝酒吗
Actually, I do. I believe the Romans used to put spiced toast in their punch bowls.
这我还真知道 是罗马人把香喷喷的面包放进他们的酒碗里
She's also a bit of a know-it-all.
她还有点假装博学多闻
Mmm. This is good. Whatever it is.
这挺好吃的 先不管地不地道吧
* I'm walking on sunshine * * I'm walking on sunshine * *
我走在阳光里 * 我走在阳光里 *
Hello? I...
你好 我
* I'm walking on sunshine * *
我走在阳光里 *
Oh, I don't think so. I am so done with Twitter.
我还是走吧 推特什么的玩儿蛋去吧