So, um, Amy, Sheldon tells me you're a neuro... something-or-other. Neurobiologist.
艾米，听谢尔顿说你是一个神经...什么来着。是神经生物学家。 不，这事远比这复杂得多。别，住手。
Your "check engine" light is on. Yeah, it's okay.
你车的"检查引擎"灯亮了，噢，不管它。
But the light indicates... Don't bother. I've wasted many an hour tilting at that particular windmill.
但如果灯亮了就说明...不用费心了。我已经浪费太多时间攻击这座顽固的风车了。
Uh, what is that scent you're wearing? It smells great.
你用的什么香水吗？真好闻。
Dandruff shampoo. I have dry scalp. Well, your hair looks very nice.
去屑洗发水，我头皮干燥。你发质看着很好呀。
Are you a homosexual? No, no, I'm just giving you a compliment.
你是同性恋么？当然不，我只是赞美你而已。
Would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual.
要你是同性恋，赞美不听着更由衷吗
Guys, how 'bout some music? Oh, no, I wouldn't care for that. Amy?
那啥，来点音乐怎样？哦不，我可不想要。艾米，你呢？
No, thank you. Okay. Uncomfortable silence it is.
我也是，谢了。好吧。那就诡异地沉默着吧。
Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy what it was like for you growing up in Texas? No.
谢尔顿，你有没有告诉艾米你小时候在德州长大的经历？没有。
Well, why don't you tell her? All right. It was hell.
哎，为什么不告诉她？好吧。痛苦得要死。
Any follow up, Amy? No.
艾米，有什么想法么？没有。
I myself grew up in Nebraska. Small town outside of Omaha. Nice place, mostly family farms, a few meth labs.
我在内布拉斯加州长大，奥马哈郊外的一个小镇。很好的地方，大多是家庭农场，还有些制毒窝点。
I'm sorry, how is this better than uncomfortable silence?
不好意思，这样还不如诡异地沉默呢
I don't know. I was just trying something. Muggles.
我也不知道，不过是试着找点话题。麻瓜一个
You slipped and fell into a robot hand? Yes.
你是滑倒摔进机械手里的吗？对。
Penis first? Yes. Now, help me!
鸡鸡先着地？对，快帮我。
I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well. Not funny, Leonard.
我本来想建议用润滑剂，但我想其实你已经栽在润滑剂里了。不好笑，莱纳德。
Really? A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk, dude. That's funny, ask anyone.
是吗，一个机械手卡在你小弟弟上。这还不好笑吗，不信你问别人。
Plea—before my mother walks in, get this off me! Okay, let's see.
拜托，趁我妈还没进来，快把这玩意弄掉。唔，我看看。
No, no! Don't touch. The program is paused. Well, then let's un-pause it.
别，别碰电脑。程序暂停了。那就重新启动呗。
No, no! I loaded the wrong program. The hand thinks it's holding a screwdriver in outer space.
别，导入错误的程序。这玩意以为自己在外太空握着把螺丝刀呢！
If you continue the program, it's gonna start twisting.
要是程序继续，它就要开始扭了
A-All right. Um, how about this.
好吧，这样如何？
When-when Winnie the Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him and pulled and pulled.
小熊维尼的脑袋卡在蜂蜜树上时，他的伙伴们就会上去拉住他，然后往外拔啊拔啊拔。
You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.
你爱咋咋地，我可不想碰其他男人的“蜂蜜树”。
All right, uh, forget pulling. How about we get an electric saw and cut it off?
好吧，不拔了。那就找把电锯，直接锯掉。
What?! No saws! One circumcision was enough.
啥，不准用电锯。一个包皮环切还不够吗？
How about an acetylene torch?
那乙快焊炬呢
Okay, I can't believe this needs to be said out loud. No pulling, no saws, no torches. Well, then what do you want us to do?
好吧，不敢相信我还要声明这些。不准拔，不准用电锯和焊炬，那你要我们做啥？
Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends! That's great, Mom, thanks!
霍华德，我做了饼干给你和你的小伙伴好极了，老妈，多谢！
I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch! Don't come up here!
我送上来，再带点夏威夷宾治酒。别上来。
Why not?! Are you ashamed of your mother?! Yes, but that's not the point!
干嘛，看不起你妈吗？话是没错，但这不是关键。
Get me out of here. You have any ideas, Raj?
快帮帮忙。你有想法吗，拉杰？
Right now, all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.
现在啊，我满脑子都是饼干和夏威夷宾治酒
Hey, here's another possible topic of conversation.
好吧，换个话题。
This is a big night for Sheldon. Right, Sheldon? Big night? The winter solstice is a big night.
今晚是谢尔顿的盛大之夜啊，是吧，谢尔顿。盛大？冬至日的夜晚才叫大。
It's over 14 hours in Southern California. That's an amusing factoid.
在南加利福尼亚一共有整整14小时呢。这句话仿得真有意思。
Thank you. No, no. My point is, uh, tonight is Sheldon's first official date.
谢谢。不，我是说，今晚是谢尔顿第一次正式约会。
Discuss. Is this true? Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown didn't count.
你们继续吧。真的吗? 当然，在国庆日上的青年敬基督方块舞会上的那次半乱伦约会不算。
So, um, Amy, what about you? Do you date much?
艾米，那你呢？你约会过吗？
Once a year. It's a deal I made with my mother in exchange for her silence on the matter,
一年一次。我和我妈说好了，这样她就不唠叨这事，
as well as the occasional use of her George Foreman Grill that seals in the flavor without the fat.
还可以偶尔用她的乔治·富曼烤架锁住美味，没有脂肪。
How about you, Penny? Do you go on many dates?
你呢，佩妮？你约会过很多次吗？
Uh, yeah, I wouldn't say many. A few. What's...?
其实也没有很多次啦。有几个吧。这算啥表情？
Your characterization of approximately 171 different men as "A few."
你把约171个不同男人描述为"有几个"
What... Where did you get 171 men?
什么？你怎么算的171个？
Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I've known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors.
简单的推断。我认识你的这三年来，你有两年是单身，在那两年里，你跟17名追求者约会过。
If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15.
往前倒推的话，请纠正如果观察有误，并假设你初次约会年龄为15岁。
Whoa, wait, wait, wait. I did not start dating at 15.
等等，等等，我才不是15岁开始约会的。
I'm sorry. Sixteen? Fourteen. My mistake.
抱歉，十六岁？十四。我的错。
Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve peaking around the present, that would bring the total up to 193 men. Plus or minus eight men.
假设钟形曲线的左半部分在目前达到峰值，那就是说总数为193人。正负8人。
Remarkable. Did you have sexual intercourse with all of these men? No.
太厉害了。你跟这些人都有过性关系吗？没有。
Now,although that number would be fairly easy to calculate.
这个数字要算的话也相当简单，
Based on the number of awkward encounters I've had with strange men leaving her apartment in the morning,
基于我早上在她公寓门口尴尬邂逅陌生过夜男士的数量，
plus the number of times she's returned home wearing the same clothes she wore the night before...
加上遇见她穿着前晚衣服早上回家的次数。
Okay, Sheldon, I think you've made your point.
好了，谢尔顿，我们都明白你意思了
So we multiply 193—minus 21 men before the loss of virginity—so 172 times 0.18 gives us... 30.96 sexual partners. Let's round that up to 31.
那就是193人，减去她失去童贞之前的21人，即172人乘以0.18，30.96位性伴侣，约等于31。
Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong. That is not even close to the real number.
好了，谢尔顿，这根本不对。跟实际数字大相径庭。
I'm gonna need a drink over here. This is very interesting. Cultural perceptions are subjective.
这里给我来杯酒，这真有趣。个人的文化认知是非常主观的。
Penny, to your mind, are you a slut? No! No! No.
佩妮，在你看来，你是荡妇吗？不，不是。不是。
Let's just all finish our dinners, okay? This is an interesting topic.
我们还是自顾自用餐好了，好吗？确实是个有趣的话题
How many sexual encounters have you had?
你有多少次性经验
Does volunteering for a scientific experiment in which orgasm was achieved by electronically stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain count?
这要看志愿参加科学实验通过电子系统刺激人脑中的愉悦中心区获得性高潮也算吗？
I should think so. Then 128.
我想应该算的。那就是128次。
Okay, come on. Almost there. Don't tug. No tugging. Next time, take your own advice.
好的，进来吧。就快到了。别用力拉。我没在拉。下回你自己搞定
Excuse me, could you help us out?
打扰下，能否帮帮我们？
My, my, my. What do we have here? I slipped and fell. Yeah, we get that a lot.
天哪，天哪，天哪！这怎么回事？我不小心滑倒了。嗯，这我们经常碰到。
What is this? It's a robot arm.
这是什么？是机器人的手臂。
Where's the rest of the robot? I only built the arm.
那机器人的其他部分呢？我就造了手臂。
'Cause that's all you needed, right? Can you please just help me?!
因为你就需要这个，是吗？能先帮我解决这再说吗？
All right, all right. Hang on, stay calm. I need an orderly with a wheelchair.
好吧，好吧。稍安勿躁。请派护理员送轮椅来
I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here. You think you could be a little more discreet?
有被机械手钳住小弟弟的来看急诊，你讲话就不能含蓄点？
I'm sorry,we don't have a code for "Robot hand grasping a man's penis."
抱歉，“机械手钳住小弟弟”这种情况未设代码。
Why is it hooked up to a computer? Uh, it's what controls the arm. But it's frozen.
它为何还连到电脑上？就是通过电脑控制机械手的，但电脑死机了。
Did you try turning it off and back on again?
你试过关机重启吗？
No, you see, it's more complicated than that. No, wait!
不，这事远比这复杂得多。别，住手。
Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree. Now can we have cookies and Hawaiian Punch?
小熊维尼终于从蜂蜜树中脱困，现在能让我们吃饼干和夏威夷宾治了吧。
You were right. This was a very productive evening.
你说得对。这个夜晚确实收获颇丰。
I saw a whole new side of Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.
今晚我见识到了艾米·菲拉·福勒全新的一面
I did not have sex with 31 guys.
我没跟31个男人有过性关系
I'll be happy to check the math, but numbers don't lie, Penny.
我很乐意验算下，但数字不会骗人的
In any event, now that Amy and I have spent quality time together,
不管怎样，现在我和艾米已共度了“美好时光”。
I feel much more confident proceeding to the next stage of our relationship.
我就更有信心继续将我俩关系发展到下一阶段了。
And that is? Using in vitro fertilization and a surrogate uterus to gift humanity with our progeny.
什么阶段？利用试管授精和代孕生下我们的后代向人类献礼。
You're still on that? In these uncertain times, doesn't humanity deserve a gift?
你还在计划这个？人世无常，人类难道不该有所安慰
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna come at this in a whole new way.
好吧，这样吧。我再换种方式跟你说。
Sheldon, if you try to make a baby with Amy in a petri dish, I'm gonna tell your mother on you.
谢尔顿，如果你想用培养皿造出你跟艾米的孩子，我一定会去告诉你的妈妈。
That's no threat. My mother's always wanted a grandchild.
这威胁不了我，我妈一直都想抱孙子的。
Really? Your deeply religious born-again Christian mother wants a test-tube grandbaby born out of wedlock? Curses.
真的，你那虔信基督再生的母亲会想要一个非婚生的试管婴儿当她的孙子？诅咒你
If I'd thought of that in the first place, I could've saved myself this whole night.
我要是早点想出这招，今晚也不用受这份罪了。
Well, it's not that late. You could still go out and look for number 32.
现在还不算晚。你还是可以出去寻找32号性伴侣
Good night. Hey, Howard, what's up? I've decided not to procreate. Yeah, yeah, great.
晚安。霍华德，怎么了？我决定不要孩子了。好的，很好。
Howard, uh, slow down. What do you mean it happened again?
霍华德，慢点说，什么叫悲剧重演了。