Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me. I know it says click with the mouse, but on a laptop, the trackpad is the mouse. Yeah, put your finger on it. Doesn't matter which finger. Good choice. Now move it down to your e-mail icon. Yeah, the little envelope. What do you mean, "What does it look like?" It looks like an envelope! Fine, you don't like the computer, don't use it! Sure, we can exchange it for a salad spinner. Good-bye!
老妈 淡定 听我说 我知道上面说着用鼠标点击 但在笔记本电脑上 触控板就相当于鼠标了 现在 把你的手指放上去 无所谓用哪根手指 明智的选择 现在把指针移到电子邮件图标上 对 就是那个小信封图标 什么叫“它长什么样” 它当然长个信封样! 行啊 你要是不喜欢电脑 那就别用了 行啊 我们可以换个沙拉搅拌机 再见
That's a Hanukkah present you're regretting, huh?
这就是你一直后悔买的那个光明节礼物吧（光明节:犹太民族最隆重的节日）
I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.
我不能说所有无法掌握当代技术的 老年人就应该被当众鞭策一番 但倘若我们拿一两位作为案例 或许能更好的鞭策他人努力学习呢
I had a great idea. You know how we're always having to stop and solve differential equations, like when you're doing Fourier analysis, or using the Schr dinger equation?
我有个好主意 我们总会被迫停下工作去解某些微分方程式吧 比如你做傅里叶分析的时候或是用到薛定谔方程的时候
Howard doesn't. He's only an engineer.
霍华德用不到那个 他只不过是个工程师
I was thinking, we could write a little app that would use handwriting recognition, and then run it through a symbolic evaluation engine. You just… You just use your smartphone, take a picture of the equation and bam!
我一直在想其实我们可以写个小程序 通过使用手写识别技术 然后通过一个符号运算引擎来计算 这样 只要你使用你的智能手机把你的方程式拍出来后就迎刃而解了
You know what's a great app? The one that makes fart noises.
你们知道什么应用程序算牛吗 能制造放屁声的程序
You know, Leonard, that's actually a valid idea. Very good.
知道吗 莱纳德 那的确是个可行的主意 真的不错哦
Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat who learned how to use the toilet?
你的口吻能否别弄得像是"我是一只刚学会如何上厕所的猫"似的
No. The two achievements are equally surprising and equally admirable, though if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat.
不行 两项成就都让人感到啧啧称奇 同样令人钦佩 但如果要选的话 我不得不说那只猫的成就更胜一筹
I'll save you the pain and nervousness of waiting for the answer. I agree to be part of your project. Congratulations.
我还是拯救你于水火之中 给你一个你期待已久的答案吧 我同意参与你的计划 恭喜你
Oh, yay for me. What about you guys? I can't promise anything, but people do make money off stuff like this.
我的荣幸啊 你们怎么说 我不敢保证什么 但有人就用这种东西赚到过钱呢
A few extra bucks would be nice. I could finally move out of my mother's house.
能赚点外快也是不错的选择 我终于能从我妈家搬出去了
Where would you go?
你搬到哪去呢
I always dreamed about building a little place of my own over the garage .
我一直梦想着能在车库上面搭造起属于自己的小天地
You know, if I made more money, I could take time off from work and give pretty girls submarine rides.
如果我挣到更多的钱 我就能从工作中抽身带着美女来一趟潜艇之旅了
What's that? Some weird sex thing?
那是什么玩意 某种诡异的性爱方式吗
No. You take pretty girls underwater in your private submarine, and you show them fish.
不是啊 就是你带着美女坐在你的私人潜艇里 让她们欣赏鱼儿
Why does everything have to be dirty with you?
为什么所有事到你这都要龌龊一下
I was thinking we could work on this at night, and then maybe in a couple of weeks, we'll have ourselves an app to sell.
我想我们可以在晚上一起做这个 也许经过几周的努力后就能有我们自己的应用程序贩售了
Sounds like we're in business.
我们这听起来像是在做生意啊
I think we should take a picture to capture this moment.
我认为我们应该拍一张 留住这精彩的瞬间
Yeah. Oh! Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent, or what? I checked the App Store. No one is doing handwriting-recognition differential equation solving.
好啊 哦 你们说 这是不是我99美分花的最值的一次 我查过应用商店了 （应用商店:苹果公司为应用程序设计的下载平台）还没人做过手写识别解微分方程的应用程序呢
Oh, dear Lord, shush.
天呐 你小声点
What?
为什么
You have so few good ideas, Leonard. And you're just going to spill the beans in front of an outsider?
你好不容易能有个好点子 莱纳德 你打算就这么轻易地把它当着一个外人的面泄露出去吗
Who, me?
说谁呢 我吗
Sheldon, I don't think Penny cares about handwriting-recognition based differential...
谢尔顿 我不觉得佩妮多在乎这个基于手写识别技术的微分...
*The stars at night are big and bright* *Deep in the heart of Texas*
*夜晚的星星大而亮呀* *深深地埋藏在德州的中央*
She's not going to steal our idea.
她不会来盗取我们的点子
What idea?
什么点子
We're gonna write an application...
我们要写一个应用程序...
*The prairie sky is wide and high* *Deep in the heart...*
*草原的星空宽而高呀* *深深地埋藏在...*
Okay, stop, stop!
行了 别唱了
*Of Texas*
*德州的中央*
Whatever your secret is, I'm sure it's boring, so I'm not interested.
无论你们的秘密是什么 我确信它必定无聊至极 所以我不会有兴趣的
It's not boring at all. You see, in higher order mathematics, there are certain sets of equations that...
一点也不无聊啊 你想想 在高阶数学中一定会有 联立方程组 它们有时...
Bored.
无聊
Satisfied?
满意了吗
Hardly.
恐怕很难
Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario. A young woman alone in the big city. Her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.
试想一下这个不太可能却又非常真实的情节吧 一位年轻女子只身来到大都市 她荒谬的演员梦想欺骗了她 从而深深地打击了她
Hey, wait a minute.
拜托 你停一下好吗
Well, hang on. Let's see where he's going.
等等 我们看看他的后续如何
Then it hits her. How is she going to survive?
然后现实打击了她 她如何才能生存下去呢
I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard. Hey, I...
因为她胸无大志且身无长物 直到有一天 她遇到了一群天才们 以及天才们的朋友霍华德 我...
Hang on. Let's see where he's going.
你也等等 我们看看他的后续如何
She befriends them, and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.
她与这帮人交朋友 然后伺机等候 直到这帮人有了一个可销售的点子 于是她盗取了点子 卖给了出价最高的人
That is ridiculous.
这也太扯了
Oh, is it? Let's see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.
哦 是吗 那你倒是给我们个合理的解释为何这个女人一直跟我们厮混在一起
Oh, great. You know what? I've already mooched dinner off you guys. I don't need to listen to this.
太棒了 你们知道吗 我已经从你们这蹭到晚饭了 所以我不需要再听这个点子了
There's your answer—free food.
这就是你要的答案 免费食物
All right, I've taken the liberty of drafting these workflow charts which outline our various duties and the path we will follow as we develop our ground-breaking new app.
好吧 我已经自作主张起草了这些工作流程图 这里列出了我们形形色色的职务以及开发这独创程序过程中需遵照的事项
Hey, why am I in charge of phone support? Seems a bit racist.
为何我负责的是电话服务 貌似有点种族主义
A customer service representative with an Indian accent will create the impression we're a vast enterprise that uses overseas call centers.
一个操着印度口音的客服能够给客人们留下一种我们这是跨国公司 使用海外客服中心的印象
Oh. Very clever. But still racist.
哦 很聪明 但还是有种族色彩
Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.
提醒下 你叫史蒂夫来自威奇托（美国城市）
Why am I listed as your executive assistant?
为什么我被列为你的行政助理
Because the word "Secretary" has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother's birthday is coming up. I'm going to need you to pick up a present.
因为"秘书"这个词已经变得不大光彩了 提醒下 我妈妈的生日快到了 我需要你来帮我挑选个礼物
Okay, we need to stop for a minute.
好吧 我们需要暂时先停一下了
Leonard, please, we can talk during our break. We have one coming up at midnight. We'll need snacks.
莱纳德 拜托 我们可以在休憩时再谈 这个午夜马上就有事情要做了 我们需要小吃
Sheldon, you're not in charge.It's my idea. I'm in charge.
谢尔顿 这个并不是你负责的 这是我的点子 我才是负责的
Oh, of course you are. Look at the organizational chart. You're clearly listed as founder.Well, yes, and you're listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer. You missed Chief Science Officer, Chairman of the Board, and Head of the Secret Santa Committee.
当然是你负责啊 快看看上面的组织机构吧 你被清楚地列为了奠基人 是啊 同时你被列为了首席执行官 首席财务官和首席运营官 你还少说了首席科技官 董事局主席以及秘密圣诞委员会首脑
Okay. You need to get clear on this right now. I am in charge of this project.
好了 你现在就需要搞明白这件事 我才是这个计划的决策人
Ooh. Leonard's going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass...
哦哦 莱纳德想取代谢尔顿成为"书呆子"界的领袖喽
All right. All right, I'm not going to argue with you.
好吧 好吧 我不打算跟你争执下去了
Sheldon Cooper is nothing if not a team player. Dr. Hofstadter, you have the conn.
谢尔顿·库珀如果不团队协作也一事无成 霍夫斯塔德博士 一切由你指挥
Thank you. I thought we might start by talking about the user interface.
谢谢 我认为我们可以先从用户界面开始讨论
Oh, dear Lord, we're doomed.
哦天呐 我们失败定了
So this button here will allow you to scan a new equation, but over here, you can press this, and just substitute new values for the coefficients.
那么这个按钮能让你扫描一个新方程 而你按这边的按钮就能替换新的系数
Good one, boss.
不错哎 头儿
What?
啥
This diagram. I assume you were opening with a joke. It certainly buoyed up this employee's esprit de corps.
这个图例 你以为您是想讲个开场笑话 毫无疑问鼓舞了我这个小员工的团队精神
It's not a joke. It's the real design.
这不是玩笑 就是这么设计
In that case, may I offer 27 little tweaks to make it slightly less embarrassing?
这样的话 能让我稍微修改27处让这玩意儿看着不那么丢人吗
Sheldon, I think this will work. Let's just try it my way.
谢尔顿 我觉得这个能成 就按我说的做先
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry. I assumed that you wanted candid truth-telling from your employees, but I realize now, you want the mindless nattering of complacent yes-men.
不好意思 我以为你希望你的属下能畅所欲言 直言进谏 而我现在意识到 你不过是喜欢盲目奉承 沾沾自喜的应声虫
Are you done?
说完了吗
If you say so, boss.
听你的 头儿
So right now, this button-press event is just triggering a dummy procedure call...
好 按下这个键就能调用一个虚拟程序...
How about this for the app name? The Surprisingly Helpful Equation-Linked Differential Optimized Numerator.
应用程序叫这名儿怎样 出奇-好用-微分-方程-相关 优化-计算器
So it spells "Sheldon."
首字母连起来就是"谢尔顿"
Does it? A happy accident. We're not doing names now. Howard?
是吗 好巧啊 现在不急着起名 霍华德 来吧
Like I was saying, right now it's just a dummy procedure, but eventually, it will drop us into...
我也说了 现在只是个虚拟程序 但最终会进入...
All right, fine. If we're not going to give it a name, can we at least give it a secret code designation?
好吧 如果我们先不起名 好歹起个秘密代号吧
No. Hear me out. The atomic bomb was The Manhattan Project. Windows 95 was originally Project Chicago. For our app, I would humbly suggest Project Nodlehs.
不要 听我说完 原子弹计划的代号是曼哈顿计划 Win95最早的代号是芝加哥计划 而咱的应用程序 我低调建议就叫顿尔谢计划好了
That's just "Sheldon" Backwards.
不过是"谢尔顿"倒过来而已
Another happy accident.
又是个愉快的巧合啊
We're not wasting time with names right now. I see.
我们现在不浪费时间起名字 我懂了
Is that decision open for discussion?
能公开讨论下这个决议吗
No.
不
Is the decision to not discuss it open for discussion?
能公开讨论下为什么不公开讨论吗
No.
不
Again, right now it's just a dummy procedure, but eventually, it will drop us into...
再说一遍 现在这只是个虚拟程序 但最终会进入...
I call for a vote of no confidence and an immediate change in leadership.
我要对现在的领导人发起不信任投票 并且要求立即更换领导人
Sheldon, stop it.
谢尔顿 快住口
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to dissolve the bonds that tie three competent scientists together...
在人类活动过程中 有必要缓解三位有能力的科学家的合作关系
That's enough, Sheldon. All right,
谢尔顿 好吧 够了
let's get right to the vote. Show of hands-all those opposed to Leonard and his reign of tyranny.
直接开始投票吧 现在请所有反对莱纳德 和他的专制帝国的人
Okay, that's it, you're fired.
举手 够了 你被炒了
Really? Why?
真的吗 为什么
Because you're impossible to work with.
因为你没法和人合作
I see. And is that open for discussion?
我明白了 能公开讨论下吗