I came as quickly as I could.
我尽最快速度赶来了
Okay. Why?
好的 为什么
To comfort you, of course. Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister. So I high-tailed it over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
当然是赶来安慰你 谢尔顿说了莱纳德跟拉杰妹妹约会的事 所以我赶到这里来安慰你破碎的心
Amy, I'm fine.
艾米 我没事
You don't have to be strong for me. Now let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch.
你不用在我面前逞强的 我们来谈谈普丽娅那偷男人的婊子
What?
什么
In situations like this, best girlfriends are often catty about the other woman.
在这样的情况下 闺蜜经常都一起声讨小三的
Really, I am not upset about Leonard and Priya.
真的 我对莱纳德和普丽娅的事毫不伤心
Oh. Then perhaps you don't understand what's going on. Your former boyfriend has replaced you with what appears to be a very suitable mate. Arguably much more suitable than you.
那你可能是并不清楚是怎么回事 你的前男友另找了一个看上去非常相配的女友 可以说比你更相配得多
Oh. Well, good for him. Hey, what do you mean, "More suitable"?
好吧 那对他来说不错啊 你说“更相配”是什么意思
Well, granted, Penny, your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious. but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional,she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you, on the other hand, are a community college dropout who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.
佩妮 虽然你的第二性征 相当明显 但普丽娅有高学历 她是成熟的专业人员 她们的文化中甚至还有性爱宝典 而你 只是社区大学辍学生 你们那的文化中只有如何把牛推倒的书
Yeah. Okay, I got it. I got it. So... what is all that stuff?
好吧 我听懂了 那些都是什么
This is a portable electroencephalogram. I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity. So when you start crying, I can see which region of the brain is activated. Then I'm going to stimulate the analogous area in the brain of a rhesus monkey and see if he cries. Cool, huh?
这是个便携式脑电波机 我正在做关于情绪和大脑活动的研究 所以你哭的时候 我能看到你大脑的哪一区域被激活 然后我就刺激猕猴大脑中相似区域 看它是否也会哭 很酷吧
I choose you.
我选你
Really?
真的吗
Yep. I moved out of my mother's house. Cord is cut.I'm all yours.
对 我搬出了我妈家 切断了束缚 我是你的了
What did she say when you told her?
你告诉她时 她怎么说
I don't know. She hasn't responded to my email yet.
不知道 她还没回我的电邮
This is so great. I love you, Howard.
太好了 我爱你 霍华德
I love you, too. So what's for dinner?
我也爱你 晚饭吃什么
Well, I don't really have much of anything in the house.
我家里没什么东西吃
That's fine. Why don't we go fool around in our bedroom? And then you can go shopping.
没事 不如先去我们的卧室做点好事 然后你可以去买东西
I thought maybe after we eat, we could see an early movie.
我想吃完后 我们去看个早场电影吧
I'd love that.
好啊
I love the way you say, "I'd love that."
我喜欢你说"好啊"的口音
She says it the same way I do. "I'd love that." Everybody in India says it that way.It's not a big deal.
哥也是这么说的 好啊 印度人人都这么说 没什么了不起的
Rajesh, don't be a child.
拉杰 别这么幼稚
I'm not being a child. Leonard, I swear to God, if your sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.
我没在耍幼稚 莱纳德 我对天发誓 你姐姐要是来这 我也会好好"关照"她的
My sister's 38 and married.
我姐姐38岁已婚
All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.
那就让霍夫斯塔德家族蒙受更多耻辱(模仿莎士比亚句式 )
Ooh, I thought I smelled pizza.
我好像闻到了披萨味
That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German shepherds at our nation's airports.
太了不起了 要是意大利辣香肠是爆炸物 你就可以取代国家机场的德国牧羊犬了
Hi. Penny, right?
你好 你是佩妮对吧
Oh, yes. H-Hi. I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I don't want to impose.
对 你好 抱歉 我不知道你们有客人 不想来打扰
No, no. It's not an imposition. At this point, in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover, a small scavenging bird that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles. Please, fly into our open maw, and have at it.
不 你这不是打扰 此时在我们的生态系统中 你就相当于千鸟（千鸟又叫牙签 常充当鳄鱼牙签的角色） 一种小型净化鸟类 从鳄鱼的牙缝间吃掉多余的食物 请飞到我们张开的咽喉 尽情享用吧
If I had more than a box of baking soda in my refrigerator, I wouldn't have to take that.
要不是我冰箱就剩一瓶小苏打 我肯定不吃这嗟来之食
Hi, bestie.
嗨 闺蜜
Hi.
嗨
So, um, Priya, you're a lawyer, right?
普丽娅 你是律师 对吧
I know. Pretty boring, huh?
我懂 很无聊是吧
Oh, come on. It's not boring at all. She's currently helping set up a secondary derivative market which would allow overseas car firms to hedge their investments against potential advancements in battery technology.
拜托 一点都不无聊 她正在帮助建立一个二级市场 以便海外汽车公司巩固其投资以对抗电池技术的潜在进步
Thank you, Leonard. That doesn't make it sound boring at all.
谢谢你 莱纳德 让我的工作听着一点都不无聊了
I'm sorry , but...
抱歉...
So, how you holding up?
你还好吧
I'm fine.
我没事
Oh, who are you kidding? She's breathtaking.
开什么玩笑 她那么动人
So, Penny, Leonard tells me you're an actress. That must be pretty exciting.
佩妮 莱纳德跟我说 你是个演员 这工作肯定相当令人兴奋吧
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's real great. Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition. I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
对 是挺棒的 今天我开车去范奈司试镜 我原以为是一个猫食的广告 到那才发现是黄片
Did you get the part?
你有幸参演吗
I didn't do the audition.
我连试镜都没试
Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky?
鉴于你岌岌可危的职业生涯 你还能挑三拣四的吗
I took acting classes when I was at Cambridge. I loved it. We did Taming of the Shrew.
我在剑桥的时候上过表演课 我超爱的 我们当时教的是《驯悍记》(莎士比亚着名喜剧)
Oh, wow. I love Taming of the Shrew. I did a paper on it in high school.
哇 我超爱《驯悍记》 我高中的时候还写过一篇论文呢
"Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? "
谁不知道黄蜂的刺是在什么地方
"In his tail."
“在尾巴上”
"In his tongue"
“在舌头上”
"Whose tongue?"
“谁的舌头”
"Yours, if you talk of tails, and so farewell."
你的 如果你谈论的是尾巴 保重啦"
"What, with my tongue in your tail?"
“什么 我的舌头在你的尾巴上”
I'm regretting my earlier cattiness. She is an absolute delight.
真后悔之前我对她做出这么恶毒的评价 她绝对是个可人儿
Wow. Wow, indeed. I can't believe we're finally living together.
爽 爽死了 真不敢相信我们终于住在一起了
Yeah. You know what would make this moment perfect?
是啊 你知道什么能让这一刻更加完美吗
What?
什么
A little snack. You got any string cheese?
零食 你有奶酪棒吗
No. I-I might have some cheddar.
没有 我可能有些干酪
Not as good. You can't make strings with it. Remind me to put it on your shopping list.
那个不好 拼不成绳子 记得提醒我把它加入你的购物清单
Okay.
好吧
You have hypo-allergenic detergent?
你有低敏配方的洗衣粉吗
No.
没有
Better put it on the list. If you wash my underwear with regular soap, I get little red bumps on my tuchus.
那这个也要买哦 如果你用普通的肥皂帮我洗内内 我的屁屁会长小红点
Wait a second. I'm doing your laundry?
等等 我还要帮你洗衣服
Well, honey, it's not gonna do itself. Oh, before I forget, tomorrow morning, you're driving me to the dentist.
拜托 宝贝 衣服又不会自己跳进洗衣机 差点忘了 明天早上你得开车送我去看牙医
I have to take you?
我一定要载你去吗
You don't have to take me. You get to take me.
现在不是一定要你做 而是你必须要做
Wait a minute. Are you telling me your mother usually takes you to the dentist?
慢着 你的意思是你妈妈通常都带你去看牙医吗
It's not weird. There's lots of kids there with their moms.
这有什么奇怪的 诊所里有很多小孩都是妈妈陪着来的
I can't believe this.
真让人难以置信
Why? It's fun. If I have no cavities, afterwards, we go out for a treat.
为什么 多有爱呀 如果我没有蛀牙 检查过后我们就去大餐一顿
All right, Howard, let's get something straight right now. I'm not going to be your mother.
够了 霍华德 有件事我必须得跟你直说 我不会像你妈一样照顾你的
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where did that come from?
喂 喂 喂 此话怎讲
Who's that?! Is it a sex criminal?!
谁啊 是性侵者吗
Nobody wants to do that to you, Ma!
妈 在你面前谁都硬不起来
Where were you?!
你死去哪里了
Didn't you read my email?!
你没看见我的电子邮件吗
You know I can't turn on that ferkakta computer! I left you some brisket on the kitchen counter!
你也知道我不会开那破电脑 我给你留了点鸡胸肉在厨房柜台上
Thank you!
谢谢
Remember to floss after. We have the dentist in the morning!
吃完记得用牙线剔干净 明天早上我们得去看牙医
Oh, hey. What's up?
有事吗
I just wanted to check in on you.
我只是来看看你怎么样
Why?
为什么
It seems like the appropriate thing to do when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman with the smoldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.
这是最恰当不过的事情 因为当自己好朋友发现自己被一个聪明美丽的女人所取代 而她如同温顺的孟加拉母老虎 有一种蓄势待发的性欲
I already told you, I'm okay with it. I mean, if anything, I'm quite pleased that Leonard has found someone that makes him so happy.
我跟你说过 我没事 我是说 我甚至于还很高兴莱纳德找到了能让他开心的人
It's okay, it's okay.
没事的 没事的
Thank you. Now, let's get these electrodes attached and see what's going on in that pretty little noggin of yours.
谢谢 现在先把这些电极贴上 看看你的小脑袋里到底哪部分让你哭泣
Okay.
好的
I smell Chinese food.
我闻到中国菜的味道
It's actually Thai. You're slipping.
其实是泰国菜 你的嗅觉下降了
Are Leonard and Priya here?
莱纳德和普丽娅在吗
They went to Catalina for the weekend.
他们去卡达利娜岛度周末了（全美最漂亮的小岛）
Oh. Where's Raj?
拉杰呢
At home, forbidding it.
在家 远程禁止他们去
How about Howard?
霍华德呢
I'm given to understand his mother grounded him for running away.
据说他的母亲把他禁足了 防止他偷跑
Oh, okay. Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh?
好吧 那就剩咱俩了 对吧
Actually, it's the three of us.
事实上 是剩咱三个
What up, bestie? Good news. Thanks to you, I was able to make a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.
你好啊 闺蜜 好消息 多亏了你 我才能成功把恒河猴弄哭 就像那种蓄意煽情的情感类节目主持人一样
Great.
不错
So, you feeling better?
那你感觉好点了吗
Not really.
还没有
Sheldon, you have a guest who's upset.
谢尔顿 你的客人心情不好
Right. I'll make tea.
知道了 我去倒茶
Sweetie, it's okay. I don't want tea.
亲爱的 没关系 我不需要
I'm sorry. It's not optional.
抱歉 你没得选择