Making pretty good time, huh?
挺开心的啊
Is that really what you want to talk about Leonard? No.
你真的想说这个吗 莱纳德 不是
What do you want to talk about?
那你想说什么
Please don't tell anyone I spent the night with Raj's sister.
拜托别跟任何人说我跟拉杰的妹妹过夜了
There it is. What if someone asks?
说出来了 要是有人问起来呢
No one's going to ask if I spent the night with Raj's sister.
没人会问我是不是跟拉杰的妹妹过夜了
Perhaps but they might ask me something else.
或许吧 但是他们可能会问我别的
Like what? Like "Has Leonard betrayed any of his friends recently?"
比如呢 比如说莱纳德最近有没有做出背叛朋友的行为
Priya and I are both adults. I didn't betray Raj.
普丽娅和我都是成年人了 我没有背叛拉杰
In fact you did, but I was referring to Howard.
你有 但是我指的是霍华德
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
April 12, 2005. Bob's Big Boy Toluca Lake. Raj had just introduced us to Priya for the first time.She was enjoying the sweet taste of Hindu rebellion in the form of a Bob's Super Big Boy hamburger.In order to preserve your friendship you and Howard made a pinky swear that neither of you would attempt to woo her. I had a patty melt.
2005年4月12日 在图卢卡湖的鲍勃大头娃汉堡店里 拉杰第一次把普丽娅介绍给我们 她正在享受印度教禁止的美味食物 那就是鲍勃超级大头娃牛肉堡 为了维护你们的友谊 你和霍华德发拉钩钩说你们俩人都不许追求她 我点了一份奶酪牛肉片
Okay,fine, I betrayed Howard. And Raj.
好吧 我背叛了霍华德 还有拉杰
All right and Raj.
好的 还有拉杰
And me.
还有我
You?
你
Violation of the Roommate Agreement's overnight guest notification clause.
你违反了室友协议中有留宿客人要提前通知之一条款
Okay, fine, I-I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
好吧 我是个令人讨厌的家伙 我就是帕萨迪纳的达斯·维达 《星球大战》中的重要角色——黑武士
You're far too short to be Darth Vader. At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.
你当达斯·维达还太矮了点 你最多也就是叛徒伊渥克
My point is: Priya's gone and it would be much better if no one else found out about us.
我只是想说 普丽娅已经走了 要是没人知道这件事就最好了
You mean you want me to keep a secret?
你是说你想让我帮你保密
Yes.
是的
You know I can't keep a secret.
你知道我是保守不了秘密的
You can if you try. Think about it this way: um, if I were Batman and you were Alfred you'd keep that secret right?
你努力尝试的话就可以的 就这样想 如果我是蝙蝠侠 你是艾尔福 蝙蝠侠的管家 你一定可以对我的身份保密 对吧
Why do you get to be Batman?
凭什么你是蝙蝠侠
Because Batman has the secret.
因为蝙蝠侠才有身份的秘密呀
Alfred has secrets too.
艾尔福也有秘密的
Like what?
什么秘密
Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. Which I've now just told to Batman. See I cannot keep a secret.
艾尔福知道芭芭拉·科尔顿是蝙蝠女 而我刚刚就把这个秘密告诉了蝙蝠侠 你看 我就是保守不了秘密
Ta-dah! What? Ta-dah. It's short for... Da-da-da-da! ?
挞哒 什么 挞哒 这是 哒哒哒哒的缩减版
Kind of busy here, Sheldon.
谢尔顿 我正忙着呢
I know that's why I shortened it.
我知道 所以我才缩减了
What do you want?
你想干吗
I came to go over your alibi for last night. What alibi?
我是来给你提供昨晚的不在场证明的 什么不在场证明
You've asked me to lie on your behalf and as you know I am deeply uncomfortable with impromptu dishonesty so I've provided you with an ironclad alibi.You couldn't have spent last night with Priya because you were with another woman.
你让我替你撒谎 而你也知道我很讨厌没有提前准备的谎言 所以我就给你准备了不在场的铁证 你昨晚不可能跟普丽娅过夜 因为你跟另一个女人在一起
Oh, I'm so sure I'm gonna regret this but who was I with?
我一定会后悔的 但我还是要问 我跟谁在一起
The fun-loving and morally loose Miss Maggie McGarry. Oh God.
风趣但作风随便的麦琪·麦凯瑞小姐 天啊
You met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole Lucky Baldwin's where Maggie spends her nights tending bar with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams. "Leonard call me if you are interested in coitus. Sincerely Maggie McGarry."And if anyone were to actually call that number they will hear this.
你们是在帕萨迪纳最有名的爱尔兰酒吧——幸运鲍德温酒吧认识的 麦琪是那里的吧台服务员 她一头卷发 心怀梦想 莱纳德 想要苟合的话就打给我 麦琪·麦凯瑞敬上 如果真的有人 打这个号码查证的话 他们会听到
Top of the morning to you. You've reached Maggie McGarry. Leave a message after the wee little beep.
祝你有个美好的早晨 这里是麦琪·麦凯瑞家 在轻盈的哔声后请留言
It's pretty convincing, huh? That wasn't even a real person. And here is the clincher: a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair.
很真吧 那都不是真人发声 最后还有一撮麦琪的红棕色头发
Where'd you get that?
你这是从哪弄来的
From an orangutan in the primate lab.
从灵长类实验室的红毛猩猩身上剪的
An orangutan?
红毛猩猩
Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard. Honestly, you overthink everything.
又没人会去验DNA 莱纳德 说真的 你想得太多了
Sheldon, I don't need an alibi. Nobody's going to ask about last night as long as you just zip your lip.
谢尔顿 我不需要不在场证明 只要你不乱说话 没人会问昨晚的事的
Thank you. Now don't worry everything is going to be fine.
谢了 别担心 不会有事的
Hey. Hey, Leonard will you please tell Howard my sister has never been attracted to him?
好啊 莱纳德 你能不能告诉霍华德我妹妹从没喜欢过他
Come on, Raj, how am I supposed to know who she is attracted to or was attracted to or who she might be attracted to in the future?
得了 拉杰 我怎么知道你妹妹 现在喜欢谁 以前喜欢过谁 将来又会喜欢上谁啊
And I have nothing to contribute to this conversation.
我对这个话题毫无建设性意见
Because I too know absolutely nothing about Priya's preferences in male companionship. And with that I will re-zip my lip.
因为我也完全不知道普丽娅对男性伴侣的偏好 所以 我会再次闭上嘴
Hey,so what did you guys think of the new episode of Caprica last night?
对了 你们觉得昨晚 卡布里卡的最新一集怎么样
I didn't see it.
我没看
Didn't see it? What were you doing?
啥 没看 那你在干什么
Uh, I was out.
我出去了
What? on Caprica night?
啥 昨天可是卡布里卡之夜
Yeah, I... uh...went for a drink.
是啊 我出去喝了一杯
Really? you? Where...w-where'd you go?
真的假的 就你 你去哪儿了
To...uh... Lucky Baldwin's.
去了... 幸运鲍德温酒吧
Oh,I've heard of that place. Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole?
我听说过那地方 那不是帕萨迪纳最受欢迎的爱尔兰酒吧么
Yes.
没错
Did you meet anyone interesting there perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid?
你有没有在那里遇到谈得来的人 是不是个滥交的红发调酒师
As a matter of fact... I-I-I-I-I can't I can't...I can't do it.
说实话 我不行了 我做不到
Sure you can you're doing fine it's very believable.
你当然可以 你做得很好 相当令人信服
I'm sorry, Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night.
我很抱歉 拉杰 但事实上昨晚我和普丽娅在一起
Don't listen to him. He's still light-headed from all the Irish whiskey and pickled eggs in his system.
别听他的 他还满脑子爱尔兰威士忌和熏蛋 一团浆糊呢
What were you doing with Priya?
你和普丽娅在一起做什么
I believe they engaged in coitus but more importantly if Leonard had not abandoned his story would you have found it plausible?
我确信他们是在性交 但更重要的是 如果莱纳德没有半途而废 你觉得那个故事可信么
You slept with my sister?!
你上了我妹妹
Yeah.
对
How could you? We had a pact.
你怎么可以这样 我们约定好的
Excuse me I think "How could you? She's my sister" takes precedence over a five-year-old pinky swear.
不好意思 我认为"你情何以堪 她可是我妹妹"总比小孩子的勾勾手约定重要吧
May I point out in a parallel universe your friends are saying "Maggie McGarry—she sounds lovely."
请允许我指出要是在平行世界 你的朋友会说“麦琪·麦凯瑞 这名字听起来真可爱”
Look, I-I admit it, I may have crossed a line here but come on, Raj, your sister is a grown woman and to her.I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate.
听着 我承认 我是越线了 但是拉杰 得了 你妹妹都成年了 对她来说 我不过是块禁忌的白巧克力罢了
I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
真是难以置信 这是对我信任莫大的背叛
No,w-w-would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it?
要是我告诉你 我向她献出真心却被她狠狠践踏 你会好受点么
How hard did she stomp? Very hard. Okay, I'm good.
她践踏得多狠 相当狠 好吧 好受多了
Well, Raj, I just want to say that I'd never betray your trust. Unlike Leonard,I respect you.
那个 拉杰 我只是想说 我绝不会背叛你 不会像莱纳德那样 我尊重你
Really? Mm-hmm. Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
真的么 当然 你瞒着拉杰把他的iPhone掉进了便池 这算哪门子尊重
Dude, I put that thing on my face!
神马 我还把那玩意贴我脸上呢
I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving.
我觉得对拉杰最有趣的欺骗是霍华德居然让他相信 感恩节外国人要送美国人礼物
Hey, I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy snow cone maker.
喂 我也没看到你把他送你的史努比刨冰机还给他啊
That was all a lie? This year's gifts are already wrapped.
那都是骗我的吗今年的礼物我都准备好了
And as long as we're talking about betraying our friends how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Leonard's food?
既然我们谈到背叛朋友的事 何不说说谢尔顿曾经整个月都把虫子磨碎再混进莱纳德的食物里
Well...excuse me. That was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to determine at what concentration food starts tasting "mothy."
不好意思 那又不算背叛 这只是个实验 用来证明什么浓度会使食物尝起来有"蛀虫"感
You put moths in my food?! For science.
你在我食物里放虫子 为了科学而献身
I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.
你居然用吃过虫子的嘴吻我妹妹
Well, I can't believe you used Sheldon's toothbrush.
你还用了谢尔顿的牙刷呢
You used my toothbrush?
你用了我的牙刷
Not the brush part, just the little rubber thing to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.
没用刷毛的部分 不过是用那橡皮垫剔了剔我的牙 顺便揉了揉牙床
Okay, I-I think it's safe to say that we've all done some things we're not particularly proud of. But come on,we're friends.Friends overlook each other's minor lapses. For the record,Howard,I'm sorry that I broke our pact.
好吧 我想我可以说 我们都做过一些不那么光彩的事 但是算了 我们是朋友 朋友会互相谅解彼此的小错误 所以 霍华德 我很抱歉背叛了我们的约定
Thank you. And I'm sorry about your phone and Thanksgiving. And while we're at it, you don't have to wash our clothes on the Fourth of July.
多谢 我很抱歉把你的iPhone掉进了便池还有感恩节的事 既然说到这个其实国庆节你也不用替我们洗衣服
As long as we're apologizing. Sheldon ,I'm... I'm sorry I used your toothbrush.
既然你们都道歉了 谢尔顿 很抱歉我用了你的牙刷
And I'm sorry... but that behavior is beyond the pale and cannot be tolerated. We are no longer friends.
我也很抱歉...那这种行为让人忍无可忍 不可原谅 我们不再是朋友了
I got you a talking Thomas the Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.
感恩节我送你个托马斯蒸汽火车头
With real puffing smoke?
会喷真的烟吗
Yes.
会
All right. But I'm watching you.
好吧 但我记住你了
Hey, you've got Snoopy out. Can I have a snow cone?
哎呀 你把史努比拿出来了 我能来一杯刨冰么
Well sure.
当然
This is pretty good. What flavor is this? Guess.
味道不错 这是什么味道 猜猜
Papaya?
木瓜吗
No.
不是
Guava?
石榴呢
You're so close.
接近了
I give up.
我放弃 是什么
Mango caterpillar.
芒果毛毛虫
What are you doing?! You said you liked it.
你这是干什么 你说你喜欢的呀