Here's what I wonder about zombies. What happens if they can't get any human flesh to eat?
我对僵尸有一点困惑 要是他们找不到人肉吃会怎么样
They can't starve to death—they're already dead.
他们不可能饿死 他们本来就是死人嘛
You take this one. I spent an hour last night on "How do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror"?
你听听我的 我昨晚花了一个小时在想 既然吸血鬼在镜子里都看不见自己 他们是怎么给自己剃胡子的"
Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other-- case closed.
衣冠楚楚的吸血鬼两两搭伴互相刮胡子 解释完毕
Yeah, okay, so, zombies.
好吧 那 僵尸呢
I guess it depends on the zombies, Raj.
我觉得这取决于僵尸的种类 拉杰
Are we talking slow zombies, fast zombies? Like, in 28 Days, if those zombies didn't eat, they starved.
我们现在说的是快僵尸还是慢僵尸 在《28天》里面 如果那些僵尸不吃东西 他们就会饿死
You're thinking of 28 Days Later. 28 Days is where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab and puts the audience into an undead state.
你说的是《惊变28天》 《28天》里面桑德拉·布洛克去戒酒 结果让观众升华到濒死状态
Hey, don't bag on Sandra Bullock! You think it makes you look cultured, but you just come off as bitter.
喂 不许你说桑德拉·布洛克坏话 你以为这样显得很有内涵 但你表现出来的只是刻薄而已
Oh, Dr. Siebert, twelve o'clock.
12点方向 希伯特博士
Why's the president of the university slumming in the cafeteria?
为啥大学校长要来食堂里视察呢
Perhaps he's emulating Shakespeare's Henry V, who dressed as a commoner and mingled among them, to find out how he was being perceived by his subjects. Of course, if he'd have read any of the 1,300 e-mails I've sent him on the subject of his administration, he could have saved himself the trouble. Or maybe he heard it's Tator Tot Tuesday. That's why I'm here.
也许他在模仿莎翁笔下的亨利五世微服私访 想知道在民间他的臣民们是如何看待自己的 当然 如果他看过我发给他的1300封关于学校管理的邮件中的任何一封 他就不必这么费劲了 也可能是因为他听说今天周二有炸薯棒 反正我是因为这个才来的
Hey, there's my favorite geniuses! How are we doing today?
嗨 我最器重的天才们 今天过得怎么样啊
That depends—how much longer do you plan on fondling my shoulder?
这取决于 你打算在我的肩膀上抚摸多久
Sorry, Dr. Cooper, I forgot you have a touch phobia.
抱歉 库珀博士 我忘了你有爱抚恐惧症
It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia. If you'd like to go put on a pair of latex gloves, I'll let you check me for a hernia.
我不是怕人抚摸 我是怕细菌 要是你愿意戴一双乳胶手套给我查疝气都没问题
Yeah. So, listen, fellas, who's up for a little party this Saturday night? Open bar, good eats, might even be a few pretty girls.
好吧 听好了各位 本周六晚上谁想去参加一个小宴会呢 美酒 佳肴 没准儿还会有几位甜妞
Sounds great! I'm in!
听起来很赞啊 我去
Hold on. Just because the nice man is offering you candy, doesn't mean you should jump into his windowless van.
慢着 就因为一位怪蜀黍给你们糖吃 并不意味着你就应该跳进人贩子的破车里
What's the occasion?
究竟是什么场合啊
Just a little fund-raiser for the university.
就是本校的几位赞助者
Aha! The tear-stained air mattress in the back of the van.
啊哈 沾满泪痕的气垫还在车后面呢
I understand your reticence, Dr. Cooper, and I sympathize, but the hard facts are, occasionally, we have to shake a few hands and kiss a few butts to raise money for our research.
你不情愿我很理解 库珀博士 我深表同情 但残酷的事实摆在面前 有时候我们不得不为了募集研究资金 而跟某些人溜须拍马
I don't care; it's demeaning. And I refuse to be trotted out and shown off like a prize hog at the Texas State Fair.
我不管 这太下作了 我不愿想像只德州博览会的冠军猪一样被人领着到处表演
Which, by the way, is something you don't want to attend wearing a Star Trek ensign's uniform.
顺便提一下 这种博览会肯定不是你想穿着别有星际迷航徽章的衣服参加的
All right, let me put it this way.You're gonna put on a suit, you're gonna come to this party, and you're gonna explain your research to a bunch of old people, or I swear to God, I'll blind you with a hot spoon, like they did to that little boy in Slumdog Millionaire. Oh, you don't want that.
好吧 那我换个说法 你们都得给我穿好正装参加这个宴会 你们要向一群老人解释你们所做的研究 否则 我对天发誓 我会用热勺子烫瞎你的眼睛 就像《贫民窟的百万富翁》里的那个小男孩一样 你肯定不想那样的
So, Saturday night! It's gonna be off the hook.
那就周六晚上咯 包你开心
Get over it.
速度拿开
Oh, boy! Tator tots and a party invitation? What a great day!
哦天啊 又是炸薯棒又是宴会邀请 今天是个好日子啊
There you go.
好了
Are you sure this is right?
你确定这样就行了
Yeah, just tuck that part in your pants; you'll be fine.
嗯 把这一段塞到裤子里 就没事了
Okay, let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled tochis.
一起去给拍那些有钱人的马屁吧
Oh, Howard, I can't believe Bernadette let you go to a fancy party wearing a dickey.
霍华德 我真不敢相信伯纳黛特居然让你穿着女式衬领去参加这么正式的宴会
Excuse me, my girlfriend doesn't pick out my clothes. My mother does.
不好意思 我的衣服不是我女朋友挑的 是我妈挑的
Oh. We should get going.
我们该出发了
What about Sheldon?
那谢尔顿呢
Sheldon is not going.
谢尔顿不去
Really? What do we tell Siebert?
真的假的 那我们怎么跟希伯特交待
Tell him Dr. Cooper feels that the best use of his time is to employ his rare and precious mental faculties to tear the mask off nature and stare at the face of God.
告诉他库珀博士觉得他宝贵时间最有价值的用途就是 运用他那举世罕见的天赋来揭开自然的面纱 目睹上帝的真面
Sheldon, it's Saturday night, you'll be doing laundry.
谢尔顿 现在是周六晚上 你要去洗衣服了
Don't tell him that, tell him the mask thing.
别跟他说这个 说揭开面纱啥的
Hey, put your tie back in your pants.
喂 把领带塞回裤子里
Nice place. Reminds me of my parents' house back in New Delhi.
这地儿不错啊 让我想起了我爸妈在新德里的房子
You're kidding.
别逗了
No. We are very wealthy. But the only difference is, we have more servants.
真的 我家很有钱的 但跟这里唯一的区别就是 我们的仆人更多
More than this?
比这儿还多啊
More than we can use. You see, in India, we don't make the mistake of letting our poor people have dreams.
多得没地儿使唤 你看吧 在印度 我们都不会犯让人们有梦想这种错误
Ah. There's my band of brainiacs. Where's Dr. Cooper?
我的牛人小队来了 库珀博士在哪儿呢
He's tearing the mask off nature to look at the face of God.
他正在揭开自然的面纱 目睹上帝的真面
The board of directors insists he has a beautiful mind. I think he's just bananas.
校领导认定他有颗美丽心灵 我认为他就是浮云
Come on, let me introduce you to one of the university's leading donors.
来吧 我来介绍你们认识一位咱们学校的主要捐款人
I think we were misled about the cute girls.
我觉得咱们被他们所谓的美女误导了
Mrs. Latham, I'd like you to meet three of our outstanding young researchers.This is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali and Howard Wolowitz.
莱森女士 这是我们学校 三位了不起的青年学者 这位是莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士 拉杰·库萨帕里博士和霍华德·沃罗威茨
Well, what happened to you, Wolowitz, couldn't stick with it long enough to get your PhD?
沃罗威茨你怎么了 坚持不下去读博么
I'm an engineer. Most engineers don't bother with a PhD.But you may be interested to know I designed the zero-gravity waste-disposal system for NASA.
我是工程师 工程师通常不需要博士学位 不过你没准想知道 我给NASA设计过零重力废物排放系统的
Got it—you're a space plumber.
懂了 你就是太空水管工
I'm gonna go hit the bar.
我去吧台喝两杯
Tell me about these two.
介绍这两位吧
Do him first. Dr. Hofstadter is representing our experimental physics program tonight. I think you'll really enjoy hearing about his fascinating work.
先介绍他 霍夫斯塔德博士今天晚上会做个我们实验物理项目的演讲 我想你会对他迷人的工作感兴趣的
Right. Fascinate me. They're cute when they're about to wet themselves, aren't they?
行吧 迷我一下 他们快要尿裤子的样子很可爱吧
I'll make it easy for you. When you arrive at the lab in the morning, what sort of machine do you turn on?
这么说吧 每天早上你到实验室的第一件事 你会最先打开什么机器
Coffee maker?
咖啡机
All right, Dr. Kooth—uh, whatever it is—you're up.
行吧 库那什么博士 到你了
It's Koothrappali. I have to tinkle.
我叫库萨帕里 我得去嘘嘘了
And so, instead of bowing to pressure, and going to that pointless soiree, I stayed right here and did a load of whites.
于是 我没有屈服于权贵去参加那个毫无意义的社交晚会 而是待在家里把衣服都洗了
Well, normally I respect your macho rebellious attitude toward "The Man," but, in this case, I think you've made a foolish mistake.
通常我会赞许你那反社会的大男子气概不听你们领导的 但这回 我觉得你犯了个愚蠢的错误
Unlikely. But make your case.
不可能 但请你说完
Keeping in mind that your critical attitude is ruining our Saturday night together, and I'm not above minimizing your window.
请记住 您那批评的语气正毁坏咱们周六夜晚的美好时光 我都没有把你窗口最小化
Sheldon, like it or not, until you manage to upload your intelligence into a self-sustaining orbiting satellite, equipped with high-speed Internet and a cloaking device, you will be dependent on other members of the human race.
谢尔顿 不管你喜不喜欢 在你能把你的智慧上载到一颗自给自足 装备着高速互联网和隐形设备的轨道卫星上之前 你还是需要依靠其他人类同胞的
That's it. Prepare to be minimized.
够了 我要把你最小化了
I'm not finished. All scientists have to fund-raise, Sheldon.
我还没说完 谢尔顿 所有科学家都要去募集资金
How do you think I paid for my lab? I went to Saudi Arabia and met with a prince who had an interest in neurobiology. Your lab is funded by some Middle-Eastern dilettante?
你觉得我的实验室靠的是什么资金 我去了沙特阿拉伯 遇到个王子 他正好对神经生物学感兴趣 你的实验室靠中东业余爱好者资助的么
Technically, Faisal is my fianc? But I do have a state-of-the-art two-photon microscope and a place to stay in Riyadh for the winter.
更准确地说 法伊萨是我未婚夫 但我现在有最高端的双光子显微镜 冬天去利雅得(阿拉伯半岛中部的城市)还有个住所
Well, that explains those puzzling camel race photos on your Facebook page.
终于明白你Facebook上面那些诡异的骆驼比赛的照片是哪里来的了
And consider this: without you to make the case for the physics department, the task will fall to people like Leonard and Rajesh.
你这么想 如果物理学院没有你出面 募捐的重任就落到莱纳德和拉杰那种人头上了
Are you trying to scare me? 'Cause you're succeeding.
你唬我么 你成功了
Well, then prepare to be terrified.
等着更恐怖的吧
If your friends are unconvincing, this year's donations might go to, say, the geology department.
如果你的朋友们没有足够说服力的话 今年的捐款可能就被地质学院卷走了
Oh, dear, not the dirt people!
不要吧 那些烂泥研究员
Or worse—it could go to... the liberal arts.
或者更糟糕 也可能给人文学院哦
No! Millions of dollars being showered on poets, literary theorists and students of gender studies.
不要 几百万的捐款都在那些骚人墨客身上打了水漂
Oh, the humanities!
噢 人文啊
On the bright side, I don't think President Siebert will be making us go to any more fund-raisers.
往好处想 我觉得希伯特校长再也不会 让我们参加任何募捐活动了
It was so much easier at my bar mitzvah. The old people just came up to you, pinched your cheek and handed you a savings bond.
受戒仪式都没这么痛苦 那些老家伙也就捏捏你的小脸蛋 就把储蓄债券给了你
Oh, don't be such gloomy Gusses. Look at the size of these shrimp!
别这么闷闷不乐嘛 看这的虾有多大
At what point do we start calling them lobsters?
到多大就可以叫做龙虾了
Face it, Raj, we crashed and burned tonight.
承认吧 我们搞砸了
Oh, you didn't do that badly.
没那么糟糕啦
Mrs. Latham, the first machine I turn on in the morning is the helium-neon laser, 'cause it needs to warm up.
莱瑟姆女士 我每天早晨第一个打开的机器是氦氖激光器 给它预热
I no longer care, dear. But don't worry, I really enjoyed meeting you this evening.
亲爱的我不关心 别着急 今天晚上见到你们很高兴
You're kidding. That was good for you? 'Cause I was sweating through my T-shirt.
别开玩笑了 哪里值得高兴了 我出了一身汗了
Excellent! There's nothing I like better than making smart people feel ill at ease.
最好不过了 我最喜欢调戏聪明人了
Why? Oh, I don't know, it's one of the fun things you get to do when you have lots of money.
啥 你有了钱之后就喜欢找这种乐子
Watch. Hey! Who said you could eat that shrimp? See? Fun.
看着 谁让你吃这里的虾了 有趣吧
No, no, no, I'm just here for your money. I don't want to shake anyone's germy hands. Explain it to them, Siebert.
不不不 我只是来要钱的 我不想握任何人的带菌手 希伯特 快跟他们说清楚