All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably just make an actual Hulk.
我只是想说 一部像样的《绿巨人》让电影公司砸了不少钱 他们完全可以拿这笔钱造一个真正的绿巨人出来
That is apt and amusing. I think I shall share that with Amy Farrah Fowler. She'll appreciate the witticism. Thank you.
这观点真是聪明又有趣 我应该跟艾米·菲拉·福勒分享 她一定会欣赏你的妙语连珠 不敢当
It'll also help improve her initial impression of you.
这同时也能改善你在她心目中的最初印象
So what's going on with you two?
你们俩最近如何
Well, the status is as it always was. She's a girl. She's a friend. She is not my—please forgive me for doing this—"Girlfriend."
状态一直维持不变 她是位女生 她也是位朋友 但她不是我的 请原谅我做这个动作 “女朋友”
Right, right. So you're still just texting and emailing? You don't feel any need to hang out with her, you know—be in the same room?
好吧 好吧 所以你们一直保持在发短信和发邮件的阶段吗 你难道一点也不想跟她呆在一起吗 比如呆在一个房间也好啊
Leonard, you are my best friend. I've known you for seven years, and I can barely tolerate sitting on the couch with you.
莱纳德 你是我最好的朋友 我认识你整整七年了 而我却还难以忍受咱俩同坐在一个沙发上这个事实
Imagine my attitude regarding prolonged physical proximity to Amy Farrah Fowler. Got it.
你就可以想象得到我对与艾米·菲拉·福勒长时间身体接触的态度了 明白了
I sense judgment on your part.
我感觉你有意见
No, no. Maybe a little.
没有 哪有 或许有那么一点儿吧
May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy.
我可以认为你的批评是基于嫉妒吗
Jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?
嫉妒 有什么值得让我嫉妒的
I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female. You have none.
我与一位女性有一段运行良好且令人满意的关系 而你没有
Oh, right. That. Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster—not unlike the Hulk—who, by the way, also has a girlfriend.
被你说中了 嫉妒是一个丑陋的 眼发绿光的怪物跟绿巨人浩克一样 随便说一下 人家也是有女朋友的
In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly, whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, a feel-good romp if there ever was one.
在这段重播里 妮弗·康纳利 或许你记得的版本是《美丽心灵》里罗素·克洛的女朋友 说不定都和绿巨人共赴巫山了
I'm not jealous. Leonard not jealous.
我才没有嫉妒 莱纳德一点儿也不嫉妒
You know, it just occurred to me, if there are an infinite number of parallel universes, in one of them, there's probably a Sheldon who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.
我刚想到一件事 如果存在千万个平行宇宙 在其中的一个那里很可能有一位谢尔顿 他根本不相信有平行宇宙的存在
Probably. What's your point?
很可能 你的重点是什么
No point. It's just one of the things that makes one of the mes chuckle.
没重点 这只是让千万个我中的某我发笑的理由之一
What makes you chuckle, Leonard?
莱纳德 什么事会让你发笑
Hmm, recently? Not much.
最近吗 不是很多
Is it because of the conflict that arises from your desperate need to pair-bond with a woman, and the apparent collective decision of all womankind to deny you that opportunity?
是因为那场争端吗 起因于你极其需要与一个女人建立对偶关系 而显然所有的女性做出的决定都是否决了你
Um... Shut up.
呃 你还是把嘴闭上吧
You know, when my grandfather died, and Meemaw was alone, my mom arranged for her to visit a center three times a week where she could socialize with other lonely people.
当我爷爷过世之后剩奶奶独自一人 我妈妈就安排让她一周去三次活动中心 在那里她可以与同样孤独的人交流
It's very nice. They discuss current events, play bridge, get a hot meal.
这个安排非常好 他们讨论时事 玩桥牌 吃热乎乎的饭
That sounds lovely. It is if you like bridge. Do you like bridge, Leonard?
听起来不错 如果你喜欢玩桥牌的话 你喜欢玩桥牌吗 莱纳德
Sheldon, I'm just not dating someone right now. I don't need to go to a senior center.
谢尔顿 我只是现在没有人约会而已 不用把我送到老年活动中心吧
Meemaw resisted at first, but now she loves it.
奶奶一开始也是拒绝 但后来她欲罢不能
Fine. If I don't meet someone soon, you can put me in a home.
好 如果我最近还没碰到合适的人你就把我送去养老院得了
It's not a home. It's a senior center. We'd never put Meemaw in a home!
那不是养老院 是老年人活动中心 我们绝不会把奶奶送到养老院
Hey, guys. Hey. Hey.
嗨 大家好啊 嗨 嗨
All right, I'll bow to social pressure: Hey!
我屈服于社交的压力 跟你们打声招呼吧
Excuse me. That's my girlfriend, Bernadette. I assigned her her own ringtone—"Bernadette," By The Four Tops. Hello, Bernadette.
抱歉 我女朋友伯纳黛特打来的 我给她设了专门的铃声 用的“四顶尖”唱的《伯纳黛特》 伯纳黛特 你好啊
When I call him, his phone plays "Brown Eyed Girl." Which, now that I think about it, is not so good.
我给他打电话时铃声是“褐眼女孩” 现在回想起来好像不是那么好了
You realize he's just rubbing our noses in the fact that he has a girlfriend, and we don't.
你应该意识到他是在炫耀他有女朋友而咱们没有 故意让咱们不爽
You mean, you don't.
你是说 你没有吧
You have a girlfriend? How could you have a girlfriend? You can't even speak to women.
连你都有女朋友了 你怎么会有女朋友呢 你在女人面前连话都说不出来
Two words—deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk, because she can't hear me.
送你两个字 聋女 所以我说不说话都没关系 因为她根本听不见
What? That's what she said.
什么 这是她的原话
Great. You have a girlfriend, Howard's got a girlfriend, Sheldon's got a girl... No, no, no, no! ...who's a friend. Thank you.
很好 你有女朋友 霍华德有女朋友 谢尔顿有女…… 错错错错 女性朋友 多谢
What about you, Stuart? You have a girlfriend yet?
你呢 斯图特 你有女朋友了吗
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I met her at Comic-Con, the one place in the world where saying "I own a comic bookstore" is an actual pickup line.
有了 有了 我们是在动漫大会上相遇的 那里是全世界唯一一个地方可以用"我有一家漫画书屋"作为真正的开场白
Oh. Well, good for you.
哇哦 恭喜你
Not really. She's horrible. When she wants to have sex, she puts on her plus-size Wonder Woman costume and shouts, "Who wants to take a ride in my invisible plane?"
其实她很可怕 当她想做爱的时候 她会穿上她超大号的神奇女侠装然后大喊“谁想坐一下我的隐形飞机”
Why don't you just break up with her?
你为什么不直接跟她分手呢
No, no, I can't. Why not? Cause then I'd be alone, like you.
不 我做不到 为什么 因为分手后 我形影单只像你一样
Dude, why don't you just invoke your girlfriend pact with Wolowitz?
兄弟 你为什么不让沃罗威茨履行女友条例呢
Because I don't need his girlfriend to set me up with one of her girlfriends. I'm perfectly capable of finding a girl on my own.
因为我用不着他女朋友介绍一个女朋友给我 我完全有能力自己找一个女朋友
Oh, Leonard, you remind me of the funny old story about a man who walks into a women's correctional institution with a stack of paperwork that will allow the female convicts to go free.
莱纳德 你让我想到一个古老的搞笑故事 是讲一个男人拿着一叠女囚犯的释放许可走进女子监狱
You're saying I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons.
你是想说 我即使拿着赦令走进女子监狱也没人会跟我上床
Are you going to let me tell the story or not?
你到底还让不让我讲这个故事了
Leonard? Are you sleeping? No. Are you ill? No.
莱纳德 你在睡觉吗 没有 你病了吗 没有
Are you still depressed because you're alone, and no one loves you?
你还为你的寂寞和无人疼爱而郁郁寡欢吗
I don't know. Maybe.
不知道 也许吧
I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well-being. Thank you.
我想让你知道 我由衷地关心你的身体健康 谢谢
You're welcome. But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.
不用客气 但是你还是没有理由把脚放在我的位子上
May I offer an observation?
我可以说说我的看法吗
What the hell? How long has she been here?
搞什么 她在这多久了
Since we got home from the comic bookstore.
打我们从漫画店回来开始
That was two hours ago.
那是两小时前的事了
As per your suggestion, we're hanging out. Quite frankly, I don't see what all the hoopla's about. Go on, Amy.
根据你的建议我们正在相处 老实说 我都不知道 你有什么好大惊小怪的 继续说 艾米
From a neurobiological standpoint, Leonard, you may be alone because your psychological state is causing an actual pheromone-based stink of desperation.
从神经生物学的角度看 莱纳德 你之所以独身可能是由于你的心理状态导致你的身体散发出绝望的味道
Did you know that, Leonard?
你知道这个理论吗 莱纳德
No. I did.
不知道 我就知道
Leonard, I understand that some people find mates in social gathering places such as bars or taverns. Have you tried a bar or tavern?
莱纳德 我知道有些人在公共聚集场所像是酒吧或是小酒馆里寻找伴侣 你到酒吧或是酒馆试过吗
No, I'm not gonna try to pick up a woman in a bar.
没有 我才不要去酒吧里泡妞呢
Wise decision. You see, Amy, success at a bar is based on classic male attributes such as height, strength, attractiveness, the ability to hold one's liquor and throw darts—separately or together.
明智的决定 听我分析 艾米 想要在酒吧成功找到伴侣 是要靠典型的男性特质的 像是身高 力量 魅力 还有喝酒和投飞镖的能力 或是边喝酒边投飞镖的能力
Leonard has none of these attributes, right, Leonard? Right.
而莱纳德不具备其中的任何一点特质 对吧 莱纳德 没错
That's not true of all bars. Juice bars, for example.
并不是在所有吧都要这样的 比如说果汁吧
Oh! Good point, Amy.
说得好 艾米
Yeah, building on your premise, Leonard could frequent sushi bars, salad bars, oyster bars, the Apple Genius Bar...what are you doing?
在这个前提下 莱纳德可以经常光顾寿司吧 沙拉吧 生蚝吧 还有苹果天才吧 你在干吗
Keep going. I'm listening.
继续说吧 我听着呢
That was rude. He does it all the time. He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.
真没礼貌 他总是这样 他就是社交无能的集合体
Cornucopia. What a mellifluous word.
集合体 多么甜美流畅的词呀
Let's make that our word of the day.
就把这个词定为今日美词吧
Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.
同意 明天开始用"甜美流畅"
Well, I have to void my bladder. It was nice spending this time with you.
我要去排空一下我的膀胱 跟你一起相处很愉快
Wait. I have a request. Yes?
等一下 我有个请求 什么请求
I'd like you to meet my mother. I see.
我想让你见见我的母亲 知道了
Can I get back to you on that?
我回头答复你好吗
Certainly. Good night. Good night.
当然可以 晚安 晚安
Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard,
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德
Yeah, what? Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.
干吗 艾米·菲拉·福勒让我见她母亲
Yeah. So? What does that mean?
那又怎样 这是什么意思
Well, you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who's your friend, and not your girlfriend?
你不是总是说艾米只是你的女性朋友吗 而不是你的女朋友
Uh-huh. You can't say that anymore. Wait. What?
嗯 你以后就不能再这么说咯 等一下 你说什么
Look, she obviously wants to take your relationship to the next level.
她很显然想要你们的关系更进一步
I don't want the next level. I like this level. Fix it for me!
我不想更进一步 我喜欢现在这步 帮我搞掂她
Me? Well, how am I supposed to fix it?
我 我怎么帮你搞掂啊
Simple! You want a girlfriend, Amy wants to be someone's girlfriend. Take her off my hands. I give you my blessing.
很简单 你想要女朋友 艾米想要当别人的女朋友 我把她给你 我会祝福你们的
That is insane.
你都疯的
You're right. It would never work. Amy finds you tedious.
没错 不会成功的 艾米觉得你很乏味
Okay, good luck.
好吧 祝你好运
Wait! What am I supposed to do?
等一下 我该怎么办啊
Well, have you considered telling her how you feel?
你有没有想过跟她分享你的感受
Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
莱纳德 我是物理学家 不是嬉皮士
All right, well, let me see if I can explain your situation using physics.What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?
好吧 让我想想看我能不能用物理现象解释给你听 如果说你被绑在一个围绕轴心成螺旋状的倾斜平面上的话 你的下场会是什么
Screwed.
拧一块儿了（也有完蛋的意思）
There you go.
懂了吧
Amy's right. He is tedious.
艾米说的没错 他真没劲儿