Leonard, you want to come in for a nightcap?
莱纳德 来吃个宵夜吧
Oh, gee, Dad, he'd love to, but Leonard has to work in the morning.
天 老爸 他也很想 但莱纳德明天一早要工作
Maybe I could go in a little late.
也许我能晚点去
No, no, no, you can't. Your career is far too important.
不不不 不行 你的工作相当重要
Behind every great man is a nagging woman who won't let him have any fun, am I right, Leonard?
每个成功的男人背后 都有个唠叨的女人 让他没法享乐子 是吧 莱纳德
Don't I know it.
可不是嘛
Well, good night, son.
晚安 孩子
Good night, Wyatt.
晚安 怀特
Oh, good night, honey.
晚安 亲爱的
Good night.
晚安
I love you.
我爱你
Love you, too.
我也爱你
Oh, friggety-frak. Not this again.
搞什么 又当众闪光（Frak出自《BSG》科幻版Fuck）有完没完
Three, four, five— pass go, get 2,000 rupees—Whoops. Can't go any further. There's a sacred cow in my way.
3 4 6 6 7 six, seven. 过 得到两千卢比 哎呀 不能走了 一头圣牛挡住了我去路
Bernadette, please tell your boyfriend to cool it with the cow jokes.
伯纳黛特 你能不能告诉你男友别再纠结印度圣牛的笑话了
It won't help. Once he finds a joke he likes, he sticks with it.
没用的 他要是找到一个笑话就会一直讲个不停
Yeah. Like his haircut material.
没错 就比如他理发那次
Oh, right. Did you get your hair cut? "No. I got them all cut."Which is still so funny. And when you go to a Chinese restaurant, he always gets the same fortune in his fortune cookie.
是啊 你理过发了吗 “不 我全部理光了” 现在还是真好笑呀 你去到一家中餐馆 他每次都在幸运饼里拿到同一张纸条
All right. "Help, I'm a prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory."
没错 "救命 我是个囚犯""被关在中国幸运饼工厂里"
Okay, I think that's enough about me.
好吧 你们侃我侃够了吧
He's right. Let's make fun of his mother.
没错 我们开始侃他老妈
"Howard, come rub my feet! My corns are killing me!" "Howard, help me out of the tub! I'm stuck again!"
霍华德 快来帮我搓脚 我脚上的鸡眼痛死了 霍华德 快把我从浴缸里拉起来 我又卡在里面了
Coming. Hey, lovebug.
来了 你好呀 小心肝
Shut up. You know what I've been doing for the last hour?
闭嘴 你知道前一个小时我都在做什么吗
Mm, dreamily doodling "Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter" in a notebook? "
在本子上涂鸦心目中的霍夫斯塔德太太"形象吗
Listening to my father go on and on about what a great guy you are.
听我爸不停念叨你是个多么棒的人
You got to admit, I am... I'm delightful.
你得承认 我的确很讨人喜欢
Why are you making this so difficult?
你干嘛把事情搞这么复杂
It's not difficult for me. I'm having fun.
哪里复杂了 我觉得很有趣
Leonard.
莱纳德
What do you want me to do? You started this. Do you want to go over and tell him we're broken up?
那你要我怎么样 是你挑起来的 你想过去告诉他我们分手了吗
No. Well, then, what do you want?
不想 那你想怎么样
I don't know.
我不知道
Don't you think that's something you should have figured out before you stomped over here?
难道你在跑过来之前不应该先想想清楚吗
Maybe.
好吧 也许是
Leonard, Penny, excellent. I'd like to say I'm very happy that you're back together, and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will. In the meantime, I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
莱纳德 佩妮 刚好你们在 我想说我很高兴你们又在一起了 如果我能有法子让自己显得更真诚些 我肯定会不遗余力 与此同时 我要对室友协议进行一些修订 特别要提出关于佩妮十分烦人的个人习惯
Oh, my God. What personal habits?
我的老天 什么个人习惯
I have a list. FYI, overuse of the phrase "Oh, my God" is number 12.
我列了个单子 顺便 第12条就是"我的天啊"的滥用
Okay, Sheldon, you don't have to do this, because Leonard and I are not...
好吧 谢尔顿 你没必要这么做 因为我和莱纳德不...
Ba-ba-ba-ba. Are you sure you want to include him in this?
吡吡吡吡吡 你确定要把他也牵扯进来吗
Include me in what? Is there a plot afoot? I'll have no truck with plots.
牵扯进什么东西 有什么正在策划中的阴谋? 我可绝对不参与阴谋
No, you're right. No, there's... there's no plots, no trucks, no feet. So what other annoying habits shall we discuss?
好吧 你是对的 不不 没有情节 不用卡车也不用走路 还有什么烦人的习惯要讨论
Uh, we don't discuss anything.
我们不是讨论...
Leonard is the signatory to the roommate agreement. As such, he bears responsibility for all your infractions and must pay all fines.
莱纳德签署了室友协议 所以 他对你的违规行为负有全责并必须支付罚款
Fines?
罚款
Yes. If Penny's going to be spending nights here again, you'll need to set up an escrow account. Sign here.
是的 如果佩妮又要继续在这过夜 你就得建立一个托管帐户 在这签名
Hello, Hawaii. This is Dr. Koothrappali in Pasadena. I'd like you to reposition the telescope, please. Scarlett Johansson's house! I'm kidding, Hawaii. Mahalo. Whoo!
你好呀 夏威夷 我是帕萨迪纳市的库萨帕里博士 我想请你改放望远镜的位置 斯嘉丽·约翰逊的家(着名女演员 超靓) 开玩笑的啦 夏威夷 多谢啦（夏威夷语）嗷呜
It might have been a mistake to open that second bottle of wine.
我们开第二瓶酒 根本就是个错误
Well, live and learn. So, Raj, do you think this planet you're looking for could have an atmosphere that supports life?
吃一堑长一智嘛 拉杰 你觉得你找的那个星球上 拥有适合生命生存的环境吗
Maybe. If it did, I'd be famous. I'd be on the cover of magazines. And then, instead of living alone in my tiny apartment, I'd have a big mansion.
也许吧 如果真是 我就出名了 我会成为杂志封面人物 那我就不用孤独一人住小公寓了 而是能住大豪宅
That sounds great.
听起来真棒
It is. If you like wandering around a big, empty house with no one to love you.
的确 如果你想一个人住空荡荡的房子 却没人爱着你
We'd come visit you.
我们会去看你
No, you wouldn't. You'd be intimidated by my wealth and fame.My only friends would be my genetically engineered monkey butler and the little people I hired to be my living chess set.
不会的 你们会被我的财富和名声吓倒 我的朋友只有我那转基因的猴子管家还有我雇来的那侏儒真人象棋
He's taking a turn to the dark side, isn't he?
他要开始变阴郁了吧
Hold on. He could come back.
再看看 他说不定能恢复的
Oh, what's the point of everything?
哦 这一切到底有何意义
Nope. He's gone.
没戏了 他彻底醉了
You know it's been more than a year since I've even kissed a girl?
你知道 我已经超过一年没吻过姑娘了
What about that hookup at Comic-Con you told me about?
你跟我说的在动漫展搭上的那姑娘呢
Oh, grow up. I was lying. I lie all the time. Nobody wants to kiss me.
醒醒吧 我在骗人 我一直在骗人 没人愿意吻我
Oh, you poor, poor thing. Raj, you have to know you're a wonderful man. There are a lot of girls out there who'll want to kiss you.
可怜的小东西 拉杰 你得知道你这人很棒 很多姑娘都会愿意吻你的
Where?
在哪呢
You just have to look. Well, this was fun.
只要你努力找寻 这下好玩了
Oh! I think I got a nibble.
哦 有鱼咬钩了
Oh, be careful.
小心点
Give him some line. Okay, now reel him in.
先放线 好了 可以收线了
Oh, look at that baby. They're really biting, huh?
看看这鱼 咬得可真紧啊
Yeah. They do that when you set it on easy.
对 你设定在"容易"时 鱼儿都这样
Oh, that's me. Oh, hi, sweetie. Yeah, I got up early and didn't want to wake you, so I went out for coffee and ran into Leonard on the way back. Guess what—we're fishing. Yeah. Right here on his couch.
是我的 是我 亲爱的 对 我很早就起床了 不想吵醒你 所以出去买咖啡了 回来的时候碰到莱纳德 你猜怎么着 我们现在在钓鱼 对 就坐在他们沙发上钓着呢
Hey, baby. I love you!
宝贝 我爱你
That's Leonard. Says he loves you. What? I see.
是莱纳德 说他爱你 什么 我明白了
The whole thing's bull squirt, huh? Well, that's very disappointing. Bye.
这些都是瞎编的 是吗 我真是失望 再见
There's been something I've been meaning to tell you.
我一直有话想跟你说
I can't believe you would lie to me like that.
真不敢相信 你们会这么骗我
Just for the record, I did not want to be a part of this.
声明一下 我也是身不由己的
I'll get to you in a minute.
我等下再找你算账
No hurry.
不急
That my own daughter thinks I don't love her enough to support her no matter what choices she makes— well, that hurts me deeply.
我的亲生女儿 觉得我不够爱她到 不管她怎么选择我都会支持她 这太伤我心了
I'm sorry, Daddy...
抱歉老爸...
Let me finish. I thought we were past the days when you would try to pull the wool over my eyes. Telling me the baggie in your underwear drawer is potpourri? And the pee stick in your bathroom is to check for diabetes?
让我说完 我还以为你已今非昔比了 不会再蒙骗我了 说你内衣抽屉里的小袋子是香包 卫生间里的验尿棒是查糖尿病的
You know, I'm sorry.
对不起
You're a grown woman, and I respect your right to make your own decisions, but all I ask is you respect me enough to be honest about them.
你长大了 我尊重你 让你自己作决定 我只要求你也同样尊重我 要对我说实话
You're right. Look, from now on, I will tell you the truth.
你说得对 从今以后我一定对你说实话
Thank you. Now, why don't you go and put some clothes on and we'll grab a bite to eat before I head for the airport. Now you...
谢谢 现在进去换件衣服 趁我出发去机场前先去吃点东西 而你...
Daddy, he had nothing to do...
老爸 他跟着没关系...
Keep walking.
走你的
Okay.
好吧
Please, please, please don't give up on her.
求求你 拜托你别放弃追她
What?
什么
I can't go back to the skateboard idiots, the white rappers and all those sweaty dumb-asses with their backwards hats.
我不想再面对什么滑板白痴 白人说唱歌手 还有那些反戴帽子满身汗臭的蠢驴们
Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, sir.
天 我不知道我是否还有机会
Then, stack the deck. Cheat. Lie. I don't care. I want grandkids before I die, and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels.
那就作弊 欺骗 撒谎 我无所谓 我死前还想抱上外孙 而且不想他们在活动房里长大
I'll give it a shot.
那我试试
Thank you. Now I'm going to do something here to help you along.
谢谢 现在我来做点事帮帮你
Excuse me?
什么
Just don't panic.Now, get your sorry, lying ass out of my face and make sure I never see it again!
别怕就对了 你这个骗人的混蛋快给我滚蛋 别让我再看到你
Oh, the reverse psychology thing. I see. That's very clever.
逆反心理 我懂的 聪明
Don't yap. Just get out. I'll friend you on Facebook.
别说出来 快出去 我回去上Facebook加你好友
Oh, there you are.
你来了
Just so you know, I was up all night, but I have finally completed the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement.
跟你说 我一晚没睡 终于完成了针对佩妮部分的新室友协议
Yeah well, not necessary. We broke up again.
不必了 我们又分手了
Do you even think about other people, Leonard? Do you?
你有没有为别人着想过 莱纳德 你想过没有
Oh, how'd it go last night?
昨晚怎么样
Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars. Big whoop.
你知道的 都一样的 没啥变化 通过望远镜看到些星星 就是大惊喜了
Really? You waited months for time with that telescope. What happened?
真的吗 这望远镜你可等了几个月了 怎么了
Why? You writing a book?
干嘛 采访我写书吗
I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
我提出个假设 昨晚拉杰偶然与外星文明联络上了 然后被美国政府要求严格保密
Nothing happened. Can we please just change the subject?
啥事都没有 能换个话题吗
That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.
这话一听就是排演过的 我们不是唯一智慧生命
Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi.
嗨！嗨！嗨！嗨！嗨！
You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
昨晚你顺利把玩上拉杰的大望远镜了吗
Where did that come from? He never touched my telescope.
这话从何说起 他从未碰过我的望远镜
Way to go shutting up.
你给我闭嘴
I did shut up. Now you shut up. Fine. Thank you.
我闭嘴了 你也给我闭嘴 好吧 谢谢
I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
真不敢相信 你今早没给我打电话