This may seem a little odd at first but over time, you'll grow accustomed to dealing with me in this configuration.
可能一开始感觉会有点怪 但时间久了你们就会渐渐习惯和这样的我打交道
Yeah, to be honest, I don't see much difference.
是咩 说实话 我觉得没什么不同
Thank you. That's what I was going for.
谢谢 这也是我的目的
Now, Leonard, tomorrow, when we go to work you'll need to allow some extra time to get me down the stairs. For your convenience, I disassemble into four pieces.
那个 莱纳德 明天我们去上班时，你得腾出点时间来把我搬下楼梯 为了让你省力 我会分解成四个部分
This is ridiculous. I'm coming to talk to you.
这太荒唐了 我要去找你谈谈
You don't know where I am. My physical body is safely ensconced in a secure, undisclosed location.
你不知道我在哪儿 我的肉身现被安置在一个安全保密的场所
You're in your bedroom.
你不就在你卧室里么
No, I'm not.
不 我不在
I can hear your voice coming from your bedroom.
我都能听到你说话的声音从卧室传出来
No, you can't. Wait. Come back. Halt. Authorized personnel only!
不 你听不到 你给我等着 回来 站住 未经授权人员禁止入内
So, either one of you weirdos want to buy my underwear? Only 1,400 bucks.
好吧 你们两个变态有谁想买我的内衣么 只要一千四百块哦
Sheldon, this is ridiculous.
谢尔顿 这太荒唐了
I'm behind you. Please look at me when you're talking to me.
我在你后面 和我说话时请看着我
I am looking at you.
我正看着你呢
No, you're not. Pay no attention to that man in the bed.
不 你没有 无视床上的那个人
You cannot exist as a virtual presence. Not here and certainly not at work.
你不能以这种方式存在于这世上 这儿不行 工作时就更不行了
Oh, good God. At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
我的娘咧 你知不知道我这年纪的人，统计数字上最可能怎么死吗
At the hands of your roommate?
被你室友做掉吗
An accident. That's how I'm going to make it look. Until I can transfer my intellect to a more durable container my body will remain safely ensconced in my bed.
死于一场意外 我就准备弄成像是一场意外 在我将自己的智慧转移到一个更持久的容器内之前，我的肉身将被安全安置在我的床上
Fine, but don't expect my help.
随你 但别指望我会帮你
You have to help it's in the roommate agreement.
你必须帮我 室友协议里写了
No, it's not.
不 才没有
Section 74.C. The various obligations and duties of the parties in the event one of them becomes a robot.
74条C款 两人间若有人成了机器人，另一人所应尽的各项义务和责任
I'll be damned.
让我一头撞死好了
This is delightful.
这种感觉太赞了
Uhhuh.
哼哼
It's much easier to enjoy the picturesque route we travel to work when you remove the specter of fiery vehicular death.
不用担心死于车祸，这样在上班路中欣赏美景就更加怡然自得了
Refresh my memory. Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?
提醒我下 我干嘛不直接把你塞进后备箱呢
Because I called shotgun. Remember?
因为我先抢了前排座位 记得不
Right.
好吧
You seem tense. Perhaps this will relax you.
你看着压力很大 这样会不会感到放松
I don't want to listen to music, Sheldon.
我不想听音乐 谢尔顿
Very well. I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities we're like Knight Rider.
好吧 真不明白你为什么不喜欢这样 你和增强功能的我 一起在车里 这就好比霹雳游侠嘛 （同名电视剧 男主角和他的人工智能车）
Except in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
那里面的车可不是括约肌吱吱响的废柴
You mock the sphincter but the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
你居然嘲笑括约肌 括约肌可是人体的一组肌肉 没有的话人类没法存活的哦 人体内共有超过50种不同的括约肌 你能叫出多少
I was wrong this is exactly like Knight Rider.
我错了 这就是一霹雳游侠 没说的
Perhaps you'd be interested in a different game. No.
你大概会对另一个游戏感兴趣 没兴趣
This is a photograph of the 1911 Solvay Conference on the theory of radiation and quanta. Using Photoshop, I've introduced a few anachronisms. See if you can spot all 24. I'll give you the first one.Madame Curie should not be wearing a digital watch. And go.
这张照片是在1911年召开的辐射和量子理论索尔瓦会议，我PS了几处不该存在的东西 看看你能不能找出所有24处 我先给你第一个提示好了 居里夫人不该带着电子表 你继续吧
That's it. Byebye.
够了 拜拜
Bazinga. I have an override switch.
吓死你 我有更高权限的开关
I almost died!
我差点被你害死了
And I'm safe and sound in bed. Who's crazy now? I'm still going to go with you.
而我仍安然无恙地坐在床上 现在再看谁是疯子 我还是会说你
Hello, Professor Hoskins.
你好 霍斯金斯教授
Nice to see you, Mindy. And konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamura. Sorry the Swedes disproved your theory.
很高兴见到你 敏迪 中村博士 很遗憾那帮瑞典佬推翻了你的理论
Leonard, my door.
莱纳德 我的门
What about it?
你的门怎么了
Be a lamb and open it for me.
乖 给哥开个门
Why? What's the problem?
为嘛 有啥问题吗
You think you have me stymied, don't you?
你以为你难住我了 对吗
No, I think a doorknob has you stymied.
没有啊 我觉得难住你的是门把手
Oh, look, it's Leonard and R2DBag. That's my joke. I told it last night. You can't just use it.
（这里Dbag是douchebag的缩写）这笑话是我想出来的 我昨晚给你讲的 你不能随便剽窃好吧
Raj, be a lamb and open the door for me.
拉杰 乖 替哥开下门
Oh, sure.
好的
He's a lamb. You're not.
他真乖 你不乖
I'm a lamb.
我好乖哦
Isn't this nice? The pleasures of fellowship and camaraderie without having to tolerate your germy breath on my skin.
这一切多美好啊 在享受同伴感情的同时又不必忍受你们污浊呼吸对我皮肤的伤害
I say we just take him to Tatooine and sell him to some Jawas.
要我说咱们把他送到塔图因星球上把他卖给爪哇人吧（《星战》情节）
That's two, dude. Write your own jokes. Oh, great.
第二次了 老兄 写你自己的笑话去 哎呦欸
Hi, I'm Penny, I'll be your waitress.
嗨 我叫佩妮 今晚为你们服务
Why are you introducing yourself?
你干嘛还要作自我介绍啊
I'd rather people not know I have any prior connection to you whatsoever.
不管怎么样 我宁愿大家都不知道我跟你们之前有任何联系
Can you tell me the specials this evening?
你能介绍一下今晚有什么特色菜吗
Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
谢尔顿 我不为你服务
Obviously. I don't even have water yet. Because you're not here.
当然了 你还没给我倒水呢 因为你不在这里
That's discrimination against the otherwise located. I'm going to have to go over your head. Manager... manager.
你这是对远程遥控人员的歧视 我要去找你的领导 经理 经理在吗
Oh, Lord, look who it is. Is that Steve Wozniak?
天啊 快看那是谁 那是斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克吗（苹果公司创始人之一）
I think it is. The Great and Powerful Woz.
我猜没错 神奇而伟大的沃兹啊
Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the cofounders of Apple Computer. He and Steve Jobs started it... Yeah
佩妮 斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克可是苹果电脑公司的创始人之一呢 他和斯蒂夫·乔布斯一起创办了... 没错
I know who he is. I watch Dancing with the Stars. I must speak to him.
我知道他是谁 我看过《与星共舞》 斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克曾参加过该节目 我得去和他聊聊
Of course you must.
你当然得去了
You know, there's an Olive Garden down the street. You guys should try it sometime.
这条街上还有家橄榄园（意大利连锁餐馆)你们有空应该去尝尝
Excuse me, Mr. Wozniak?
打扰了 沃兹尼亚克先生
Oh, hey. Nice virtual presence device. Thank you.
嘿 很不错的虚拟化身仪器 谢谢夸奖
I just want to say I'm a big fan. You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.
我想说我是你的忠实粉丝 你在我最爱的科技远见卓识者排行榜上排第15
Only 15th? It's still six spots above Steve Jobs. I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.
才第15啊 那也比斯蒂夫·乔布斯高6名呢 我既不喜欢高翻衣领 也不喜爱炫舞技的人
Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.
嗯 我从来不穿高翻领的衣服
One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple Two. Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3 it was a pretty nifty little achievement.
我最得意的收藏就是一台1977年产的苹果Ⅱ 如果不考虑苹果DOS 3.3版文件系统的局限性 它确实算个一流的小成就
Thanks, we were shooting for "nifty." You know, if you had it here I'd autograph it for you.
多谢 "一流"这个词让我受宠若惊 如果你能把它带过来的话 我可以在上面签个名
Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes depending on how the buses are running. Nerds.
别走开 等我15到30分钟 具体情况得看公交车的运营情况 书呆子
I'm coming, Woz, I'm coming. Penny... Penny... Penny.
我来了 沃兹 我来了 佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What up, ShelBot? I can't get out of bed. I hurt my ankle.
怎么了 谢童木 我下不了床 脚扭了
What do you want me to do? Sing me "Soft Kitty."
你想让我干嘛啊 给我唱"乖乖猫"吧
Really, you want me to sing "Soft Kitty" to a computer monitor?
你真的想让我对着个电脑显示器唱"乖乖猫"吗
Would you rather come over and sing it to me in person?
你想过来当面对我唱吗
Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur...
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
Closer to the microphone.
离麦克风近点儿
Happy kitty, sleepy...
快乐猫 瞌睡...
No. You have to start over.
打住 从头开始
Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty, sleepy kitty Purr, purr, purr.
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球 快乐猫 瞌睡猫 呜 呜 呜