Stocks and bonds are moving higher....
股票，债券今天全都上涨了…
Hey Monica, why are we watching the business channel?
莫妮卡，我们为什么看商业台？
Oh, 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it.
因为我前几天看到，有支股票是我的名字的缩写MEG。
And, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
有时我得苦等两三个小时才又会再看到，但是看到的时候蛮兴奋的。
Ok honey, you really need a job.
亲爱的，我看你是真的需要一份工作。
Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
莫妮卡，说到这个，老爸说他认识一个人你可以去应征。
Really?
真的吗？
Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
看！那是今天的第三个预兆了，看！
Ok, on behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh.
我在替在座的每一位说一声：“什么？”。
No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father.
因为你刚刚说了“爸”，我今天不管到什么地方去，都一直得到叫我去看我爸的预兆。
Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
像我来这里的时候，我经过一个自助餐厅（buffet），跟我爸爸的姓(布菲)发音相近。
Ahh.
啊...
And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end.
他们供应兰克福香肠，而我爸爸的名字是弗兰克。
Yes.
确实。
And there was a rotisserie with the spinning chicken.
还有一家烤鸡店烤架上有鸡（有“胆小”的意思）在转。
His Indian name?
是他的印第安名？
No, because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
不是，因为我上次去见他时“胆小”地逃跑了，这么巧合吗？我不认为哦。
Freakish. Wow. Wicked. Weird, weird.
好奇怪。哇。怪透了。真诡异。
Ok, so, who wants the uh last hamburger?
最后一个汉堡谁要？
Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
好了，够了，我现在非去不可了。
Why?
为什么？
Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
汉堡？麦当劳？老麦当劳有个农场，我爸是药剂师（与“农场”谐音）。
And EIEIO is what your mom said when your dad left her.
并且“咿呀咿呀哦”（儿歌“咿呀咿呀哦”的歌词），就是你爸爸抛弃你妈妈时，她说的话。
Yes!
是的。
Really? !
真的？
No!
不是。
Man, I am so beat. Oh, yeah.
老兄，我累歪了。对啊。
Hey, you just wanna forget about racquetball and hang out here?
要不我们别去打壁球了，留在这里混吧。
Yeah alright.
好啊。
Hey you're in our seats.
那是我们的位置。
Oh, sorry we didn't know.
抱歉，我们不知道。
Hey, we were sitting there.
我们本来坐那里的。
Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
这还有另外一种说法，谁知道？
Is that supposed to be funny?
你这是在说笑话吗？
No actually, I was just going for colorful.
不，我在说多姿多彩的话。
What's with this guy?
这家伙有什么毛病？
What's with you?
你有什么毛病？
Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee.
他没毛病，请慢用咖啡。
What just happened?
发生了什么事了？
I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
我刚拿了你的帽子，你看，我也能妙趣横生，我的笑话就是我拿了你的帽子。
That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
那真有趣啊，能还给我吗？
No.
不行。
No?
不行？
No.
不行！
Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guys, just, just give him back the hat.
好了，好了。你知道吗？我觉得你很风趣，那个笑话真该受到奖赏，但是别这样，伙计们，把帽子还给他嘛。
Why should we?
为什么？
Because it's a special hat. See, he bought it because he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, you know. Now Chandler...
因为那是顶特别的帽子，你看，他有一天心情很不好，所以他就买了那顶帽子来…帮自己打气。钱德…
Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat?
别说了，别再说了。让我先搞清楚，你抢了我的帽子？
You got a problem with that?
你有意见吗？
No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.
不，我只是想确定我们的观点一致。
I'm telling you Rach. I've gone Dad hunting with Phoebe before.
我跟你说瑞秋，我已经和菲比去找过她父亲。
This is a very scary thing for her. She gets real vulnerable and. .that's why we're there to...you know, be supportive and crap.
这对她来说太恐怖了，她会很脆弱。这就是为什么我们要去，互相支持，说些废话什么的。
Ok. Will you just let me know when to do which.
好，你告诉我什么时间做什么就行了。
Hey, how'd the interview go?
面试结果怎么样？
It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter.
逊毙了，那是一家50年代主题的餐厅，我得穿戏服做菜，在柜台上跳舞。
I mean, I was a sous chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?
我以前是艺术咖啡（著名法国餐馆）的主厨耶。我是说，我怎能接受一个我得做炸绿色卷曲东西的工作呢。
So don't do it.
那就别做啊。
How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
我怎么能不做呢？我银行里面只剩下127块了。
Monica, relax, go get a beer.
莫妮卡，放轻松，去拿瓶啤酒。
I don't want a beer.
我不想喝啤酒。
Who said it was for you?
谁说是给你的？
Hhhiiii.
嗨。
What's the matter with you?
你们两个怎么了？
The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
咖啡厅里有两个卑鄙的家伙抢了我的帽子。
Noo.
不会吧。
You're kidding.
你开玩笑？
It was ridiculous. You know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, you know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
简直荒唐透了，这些人是流氓，是真正的流氓。我们是大人了，我们不应该再碰上这种事了。
Oohhh. Hi. Hi.
喔。嗨。嗨。
Ohhh Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
不，等一下，我孤家寡人。
Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.
我们应该过去把帽子给拿回来吧。
Nah, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
算了吧，说不定已经被拆成零件给卖掉了。
Hey, I went up.
我涨了！
What?
什么？
My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today.
我的股票MEG，涨了两点。若我昨天把我的127元投资在我自己身上，那我就会…比今天有钱了。
You know what, I'm gonna do it.
知道吗？我要放手一搏。
Do what?
搏什么？
Put all my money in me.
投资在自己身上。
Monica, what're you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
莫妮卡，你在说什么？你对股市一窍不通。
What's to know? Buy, sell, high, low, bears, bulls...Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store.
要通什么？买，卖，高，低，熊市，牛市。喂，曼哈顿，麻烦帮我查个电话号码，股票…商店。
See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea?
你看，我说应该带枕头来是对的吧。
Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
天啊，就这样了。我就要说出我这辈子的第一声“嗨，生父”了。
We love you, we're here for you. Yeah, good luck, good luck.
我们爱你，我们支持你。一切顺利。
Thanks.
谢谢。
Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich?
瑞秋，要不要三明治？
Ohh, what is in that?
里面有什么？
Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.
橄榄面包，火腿片，没有蛋黄酱。
No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.
不，再加蛋黄酱就恶心了。
Hey, hey, no, oh oh.
嗨，嗨。哦不。
Run, Phoebe run.
跑，菲比，跑。
No no no, doggy please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no. Back off! Back off!
不要，狗狗，拜托，我很想爱所有的动物，所以请不要这样。滚开！滚开！
Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?
给它根骨头，有没有骨头？
Are you kidding me?
开什么玩笑？
Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. Ok, alright, we have a problem.
看，有狗食，去吃吧，放开我的腿，你这只烂东西。好了，我们碰上难题了。
Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
你为什么不把它的弹簧垫拿走？
Ok, here, I know what we can do.
我知道怎么办了。
Hey, hey, hey no.
嘿，嘿，嘿，不要！
Ok, doggy get the aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggy. Good doggy get the sandwich, get the...
狗狗，去捡三明治，去捡三明治啊，好狗狗，快点。
Ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
乔伊，狗宁可舔自己也不碰你的三明治那代表什么？
Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
它不吃的话，我自己吃。
Are you crazy?
你疯了吗！
Pheebs, he's just a little dog. Ahhh.
菲比，它只是条小狗而已。啊！
Hey. What?
嘿。干嘛？
Do you have to be a Century 21 realestate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?
一定要当21世纪的房地产经纪人，才能穿着那么酷的外套吗？
Do you say this stuff to girls?
你和女生这样搭讪吗？
Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat? And look where they're sitting.
那不是你帽子的旧主人吗？看他们坐在哪里了。
You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
你在说笑吧？你们才刚进门。
Maybe we didn't make it clear enough. Yeah.
或许我们说得不够清楚。对啊。
This couch belongs to us.
这个沙发是我们的。
Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
这样吧，你们叫一声沙发…然后我们也对着它叫一声…看它会到谁那里去。
You know what I don't like about you? You always got something to say.
知道我最不喜欢你哪一点吗？你总是不停地有话说。
Well that....
呃，那个…
You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
我一直不懂，你们为什么还赖在这个地方？
Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright? Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
好了，够了，我受够了，好吗？甘瑟，这两个家伙想抢我们的座位。
Fellas, these guys were here first.
两位，他们先来的。
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, Didn't realize.
抱歉，我们不知道。
There you go.
好了。
Thank you Gunther.
谢谢，甘瑟。
We didn't wanna have to go and do that.
是你们逼我们这么做的。
You told on us?
他打小报告？
You told on us?
你打小报告？
Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice.
兄弟，你们逼得我别无选择。
Don't play with this thing. I know.
别玩他的东西。我知道。
Alright, let's take this outside.
很好，我们到外面解决。
Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
“我们到外面解决”？谁会这么说？
The guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that.
即将要痛扁你们的人会这么说。
You had to ask. Yeah.
谁叫你多嘴呢。对。
Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.
好吧，好吧，我们不想用武力来解决。
Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
那么这样好了，只要你们保证从今以后，不踏入这家咖啡厅一步。
I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
我认为你太早把甘瑟抬出来了。
Hey Pheebs, II think you're good to go.
菲比，我想你可以上去了。
Yeah, I don't know.
我不知道。
What's the matter?
怎么了？
I just think that this was a really bad sign, you know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know.
我是觉得这是个很不好的预兆，就像门槛上的野兽啦。
It's just, I have like no family left, you know. I mean, except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says.
我已经没有别的亲人了，除了我外婆。可是面对现实吧，她又不会永远都活着，虽然她说她会。
And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father, and I just, I want things to be like just right.
我有个自从住在过一个子宫里面，就几乎没有说过话的姐姐。这是我真正的父亲，我只是要一切正常。
Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
我完全了解。
Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home?
对，随你要怎么样。你要回家吗？
Ok, thanks. Sorry again.
谢了，对不起，再一次。
What was that?
那是什么？
Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
我猜现在门前没有阻碍了。
I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. Come on, the time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
我要买五股SGJ，我现在就要，快点，时间就是金钱，我的朋友，谢谢。
Time is money my friend?
“时间就是金钱，我的朋友”？
Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your Wall Street butt.'
你错过了“钱生钱”，还有，“别逼我过去踢你的华尔街屁股”。
Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?
我早餐前就赚了十七块，你做了什么？
Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
我早餐在这个地方吃的，所以理论上我省了三块五。
How did you make $17?
你怎么赚十七块的？
Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
我在经济上很有挑战性的朋友们：我用我的钱分别买了些CHP跟ZXY股。
How come those?
你怎么选的？
Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
CHP是因为我喜欢过电视剧《Chips》里的艾瑞克·艾斯彻达，ZXY是因为听起来像sexy（性感）。
What happened to uh, MEG?
那你的MEG呢？
MEG was good for me but I dumped her. You know, my motto is get out before they go down.
MEG帮我赚过钱，但是被我甩了，我的座右铭是在“疲软以前撤退”。
That is so not my motto.
这绝对不是我的座右铭。
Hey.
嘿。
Hey Pheebs. Oh hey, how's the dog? yeah.
嘿。菲比，狗怎么样了？对啊。
Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice Upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
我跟兽医谈过了。纽约州的人真好。他说那个小家伙不会有问题，明天我可以去接它了。
Good. Oh, thank God.
好，好极了。谢天谢地。
Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
可是他必须帮它缝好多针，而且他还说只有出现蓝月亮时，狗才会再长出耳朵来，所以还有一点点希望。
Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
那菲比，你现在可以打电话告诉你爸，他的狗没事了吗？
I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
我不想在电话上跟我爸相认。我该跟他说什么呢？“我是被你抛弃的女儿，对了，我撞伤了你的狗。”
Hey Pheebs, if you want, I'll do it.
菲比，我可以帮你打的。
Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok.
听着，拜托千万不要提我的事。
DON'T...be too long with the phone.
别…讲电话太久。
Ok, she'll be a much better friend once the market closes.
股市收盘以后，她会是个比较好的朋友。
It's a woman.
是个女的。
Ok, so talk to her.
你跟她讲啊。