Ross: Man, I sure miss Julie.
我真的好想念茱莉。
Chandler: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there.
西班牙侏儒，西班牙侏儒摔跤…茱莉！哈，我明白你是怎么想到她的了。
Ross: You ever figure out what that thing's for?
你有想过那玩意儿是用来做什么的吗？
Chandler: No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My God, Rodrigo never gets pinned.
啊！我在过滤电话。如果我老是去接，别人会以为我没有自己的生活。老天啊，罗德里格真是西方不败。
Machine: Comes the beep, you know what to do.
听到哔声后，请留言。
Woman's Voice: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jade.
我要找鲍勃。我是珍德。
Woman's Voice: I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again.
我不知道你是否还使用这个号码，不过我不断在想…我们过去那段美好的时光。我知道都已经三年了…可是我希望我们能够重修旧好。
Woman's Voice: You know, I barely had the nerve to make this call, so, you know what I did?
你知道吗，我差点提不起勇气打这通电话…所以，你知道我在干嘛吗？
Chandler: What?
在干嘛？
Jade: I got a little drunk...and naked.
我喝得醉醺醺…还一丝不挂。
Chandler: Bob here.
我是鲍勃。
Chandler: So uh, what've you been up to?
最近都在干啥呢？
Jade: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
你知道的，跟平常一样啊。教有氧舞蹈…玩得太疯狂。如果你想知道的话…新007电影海报上那双腿，是我的。
Chandler: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. I love her.
请等一下，我有电话进来了。我爱她！
Ross: I know.
我知道。
Chandler: I'm back.
我回来了。
Jade: So, are we gonna get together or what?
那我们到底要不要聚一聚啊？
Chandler: Um, absolutely. Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish?
当然了。明天下午怎么样？你知道中央公园咖啡厅吗？五点钟左右见？
Jade: Great, I'll see you then.
太棒了，到时候见。
Chandler: Ok. Ok. Having a phone has finally paid off.
好的。好！我装上这个电话，终于物有所值了。
Ross: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I'm thinking when she sees you tomorrow, she may realize that, "Hey, you're not Bob."
你装鲍勃装的真的很像，我只是在想，明天她看见你的时候，她就会意识到：“嘿，你不是鲍勃。”
Chandler: Ahh you see Tatoo...Ms. Jade's fantasy is to rekindle the love she once had with Bob.
你看，纹身。珍德希望跟鲍勃重修旧好。
Ross: You know what my fantasy is? That you talk like a normal person.
你知道我希望什么吗？我希望你能像个正常人一样说话。
Chandler: I am hoping when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
我只希望当明天鲍勃没有出现的时候，她会投入邻桌陌生人的怀抱寻找安慰。
Ross: Oh my God. You are pure evil.
老天，你真是邪恶到家。
Chandler: Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I've done this...
邪恶到家…饥渴兼孤单…这我都试过了。
Ross: Yeah, yeah, everybody's here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
耶，耶，各位，跟在新墨西哥州的茱莉打声招呼吧。
All: Hi, Julie! -Rachel: Hi, Julie.
嗨，茱莉…
Chandler: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
好，趁罗斯在讲电话，每人缴62块庆祝他的生日。
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
你可不可以将就一下…譬如说…每个人缴20块就好了。
Chandler: Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake.
拜托，要有礼物，演唱会，还有蛋糕。
Joey: Do we need a cake?
我们还需要一个蛋糕？
Chandler: Look guys, I know it's a little steep. -Rachel: Yeah, whoosh!
各位，我知道这数目有一点高（有“大起大落”的意思）。
Chandler: But it's Ross.
不过这可是罗斯的生日呀。
All: Yeah. Alright, it's Ross. I know, I know. -
哦，对，是罗斯啊。
Chandler: Ok, I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing.
好了，咱们待会儿见。我还得去…做一件事。
Ross: Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
好了，甜心，我晚上再打给你。嘿，你不是真的要那么做吧？
Chandler: You know, I think I might just.
老兄我非做不可。
Rachel: So uh, what're you guys doing for dinner tonight?
你们晚上吃什么？
Joey: Well I guess I gotta start saving up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
我要开始为罗斯的生日存钱了，我想我就待在家喝西北风吧。
Phoebe: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
你们能想象这要花多少钱啊？
Rachel: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
你们有时候会不会觉得…钱德，他们…根本不明白，我们赚的钱没他们多。
Joey: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
是，是的，他们总是说“咱们去这儿，去那儿”，好像我们能负担得起。去这里去那里似的。
Phoebe: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, some place nice, you know?
是的，而且我们总是得去“好地方”。
Phoebe: God, it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this, a birthday thing, you know, and it's for Ross.
老天，我们都不能有一点反驳，因为这是庆祝生日啊，而且是罗斯的生日。
Joey & Rachel: For Ross...For Ross...Ross...Ross...Ross...
为了罗斯…
Monica: Oh my God.
噢，老天。
Phoebe&Joey: Hey! What?
嘿！怎么了？
Monica: Ok, I'm at work, it's an ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauté, sauté, sauté.
我在上班…很平常的一天，你们知道的，切切切，炒炒炒。
Monica: All the sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
突然间，里昂，那个经理，叫我去他的办公室。结果是他们炒了午餐大厨，猜猜看谁得到了这份工作？
Joey: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
如果不是你的话，这可是个糟透的故事。
Monica: Fortunately, it is me.
幸好，那个人是我。
Rachel: Oh! -Monica: And they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much! -
哦！-他们还升我为采购主任，非常谢谢。太棒了！
All: Hey hey! -Rachel: That's so cool!
嗨！-太棒啦！
Monica: Anyway, I just ran into Chandler and Ross downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, some place nice.
不管怎样，我刚下楼去罗斯和钱德那里，他们认为我们应该出去庆祝一下，去个“好地方”。
Joey: Yeah, some place nice. -Rachel: Yeah!
去个好地方。-对！
Joey: How much do you think I can get for my kidney?
你们想我的肾能够卖多少钱？
Ross: I'm telling you, You can't do this.
说真的，你不能这么做。
Chandler: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
少来了，拘泥于传统方法，我永远把不到那种女孩。
Ross: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
那有什么关系呢？她要找的是鲍勃，鲍勃一定是她理想的对象。你这么做，或许会毁了两个人快乐的机会。
Chandler: We don't know Bob! Ok? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.
我们不认识鲍勃，我们认识我，我们喜欢我。拜托，让我快乐吧。
Ross: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
你过去告诉那个女人实话。
Chandler: All right.
好吧。
Ross: Go.
去啊。
Chandler: Hi. - Jade: Hi.
嗨。-嗨。
Chandler: Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something.
我要…我要跟你坦白一件事。
Jade: Yes?
什么事？
Chandler: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
放你鸽子的人是个混蛋。
Jade: How did you...
你怎么会…
Chandler: I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?
我不知道。我就是有这种怪怪的感应。我就这样，怪怪的又敏感。面纸？
Jade: Thanks.
谢谢。
Chandler: No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today.
不用，你整包留着吧。我今天的眼泪已经哭干了。
Ross: Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef...
好，好，敬我妹妹，刚被升为午餐大厨…
Monica: Who is also in charge of purchasing.
而且她还接掌了采买大权。
Ross: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing...
恭贺她升为午餐大厨，并且接掌采买大权…
Monica: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
罗兰德不在的时候还有自己的小办公桌。
Ross: Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister...
午餐大厨，采购大权，罗兰德不在时有自己的小办公桌…咱们敬我的…
Monica: Oh-oh-oh, wait, and I got a beeper!
等等！我还有传呼机！
All: Oh, cool.
噢，酷。
Ross: That's fine, I'll-I'll just wait!
没关系，我等你们好了。
All: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry...
抱歉…
Ross: Monica!
敬莫妮卡！
Waiter: Are we ready to order?
各位可以点菜了吗？
Rachel: Oh, you know what, we haven't even looked yet.
对不起，我们还没看菜单。
Waiter: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
那你们看过之后再叫我，我会在那边引颈企盼的。
Phoebe: Wow, look at these prices.
你们看看这上面的价钱。
Rachel: Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching.
是呀，都是钱啊。
Joey: You know, what are these, like famous chickens?
这是些什么？有名的鸡吗？
Chandler: Hey, sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon.
抱歉，我迟到了。莫妮卡，恭喜你。
Monica: Thanks.
谢谢。
Chandler: I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
我不后悔我迟到，我跟珍德的午后约会太不可思议了。
Ross: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
根据她在我答录机上，留给你的话的确很不可思议。钱德，这个女人为什么，会在我的答录机留话给你呢？
Chandler: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
我必须要告诉她，我的号码是你的号码…因为我不能告诉她，我的号码是我的号码…因为她以为，我的号码是鲍勃的号码。
Ross: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
你再告诉我一次，结绳先生打来的时候我怎么办？
Waiter: Do I dare ask?
可以点菜了吗？
Monica: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
好，我要先来一份生牛肉，然后再来一份烤虾。
Ross: That sounds great. Same for me.
听起来不错，我也一样。
Waiter: And for the gentleman?
那这位先生呢？
Joey: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
我要泰国鸡肉披萨，如果我的披萨不加干果，大蒜…会不会比较便宜啊？
Waiter: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
你肯定这么想，不是么？女士？
Rachel: Ok, I will have the uh, side salad.
好了，我想要点…伴碟沙拉。
Waiter: And what would that be on the side of?
那要伴在什么菜旁边呢？
Rachel: I don't know. Why don't you just put it right here next to my water?
我不知道，你就帮我放在我的水旁边好了。
Waiter: And for you?
那你呢？
Phoebe: Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup, and, um, take care.
我想我要来一碗黄瓜汤…保重了。
Chandler: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
我要一份黑椒鲶鱼。
Waiter: Anything else?
就这样吗？
Chandler: Yes, how about a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you?
还有一首“温柔地杀死我”怎么样？你会朝我的鱼打喷嚏，对不对？
Chandler: Woah! Did anybody feel like they just gave birth to an alien?
有没有人觉得他们刚生了个外星人？
Ross & Monica: Yes!
有！
Rachel, Phoebe, & Joey: No.
没有。
Ross: Plus tip, divided by six. And everyone owes 28 bucks. -Chandler: Ok.
加上小费再除以六…好了，每个人给我28块钱。-好。
Rachel: Um, everyone?
每个人？
Ross: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
你说得对，对不起。
Joey: Thank you.
谢谢。
Ross: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
今天是莫妮卡的大日子，她不需要付啊。
Monica: Oh, thank you!
谢谢！
Ross: So five of us is, 33.50 apiece.
用五个人去除…每个人33.5元。
Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
不行，抱歉，那是不可能的事。
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
毕业舞会重演。
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks?
对不起，莫妮卡，你升了职我替你高兴…可是冷黄瓜糊要三十几块？